Humorous God Quotes: top 44 famous quotes about Humorous God

Humorous God Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humorous God quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

One cannot live on cock alone," Etienne called out as he left the stable. "God knows I've tried! — Rosemary O'Malley

Thank God it wasn't beef jerky, or I might've ended up dead."

"The President's Neighbor" a comedy script by Brett Bacon. — Brett Bacon

A God who cannot smile, could not have created this humorous universe. — Sri Aurobindo

I worried about playing God (in the movie Oh God). We're about the same age, but we grew up in different neighborhoods. — George Burns

Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse. — Miguel De Cervantes

I am (thank God!) constitutionally superior to reason. — Wilkie Collins

Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes. — Mark Twain

Nothing like a little chest pain to restore your faith. — Ray Romano

For God's sake put on your glasses, Sam. You're staring right at my boobs. — Jillian Eaton

My toes are a total wreck, my fingernails worse, and god knows my hair could use a registered nurse. — Jack Bunbury

She needed help, but God was in a meeting whenever she rang. — Tom Robbins

To God I speak Spanish, to women Italian, to men French, and to my horse - German. — Emperor Charles V

... With a slight miscalculated leap cleared to the iron picket fence. Put the fear of God into me, picket fences and balls don't mix. — J.P. Donleavy

But as his father used to say when he had a few drinks taken, you couldn't expect bloody miracles when you were talking about God. — Joseph O'Connor

There is no god but Road Runner and Chuck Jones is his prophet. — John Steiner

I never thought of God as humorous," said Father Stone. "The Creator of the platypus, the camel, the ostrich, and man? Oh, come now! — Ray Bradbury

I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.) — Tim Allen

A great mission by a great woman. — Lailah Gifty Akita

When I was young, I believed God was a woman because I couldn't come up with any other explanation as to why the universe was so tidy. — Matshona Dhliwayo

If god is dead, who's going to fix this mess? — Satoshi Kon

The chicken came first - God would look silly sitting on an egg. — Abraham Maslow

Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity. — Dave Barry

I like to think I'm helping them by hating them. I'm reminding them that they aren't God's gift to humankind. — Veronica Roth

Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it." — Woody Allen

God doesn't send atheists to Hell
there's no room with all the Christians down there. — Quentin R. Bufogle

I may not be perfect, but God knows I'm trying ... and God knowing should count for something. — Karen E. Quinones Miller

I'm dating myself, but this was before Jesus Christ. We worshiped a God named Sashatiba, who had five eyes, including one on the Adam's apple. — David Sedaris

The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service. — Dave Barry

The mole rat is the only rodent born without a fur coat. With a good lawyer, someone would pay for that little oversight. — Erma Bombeck

The only person who worries about my mother is God, and that's only because she wants His job. — Sue Civil-Brown

If God is all powerful, can He make a stone so big that He Himself can't lift it? — George Carlin

I've always figured that if God wanted us to go to church a lot He'd have given us bigger behinds to sit on and smaller heads to think with. — P. J. O'Rourke

Some people react to suffering by denying the very possibility of God's existence — Michael Ots

You wonder if God doesn't have an answering machine to screen out the prayers of the venal and the boring? And in which category has he placed you? — Tom Robbins

Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent ... he's not rich enough to be a Republican. — Bob Hope

Oh God, my stomach must have won a medal- it's doing a lap of honour now. — Ali McNamara

Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue. — Woody Allen

Well," he said. "I hope to God I never make forty
I wouldn't know what to do with myself. — Hunter S. Thompson

Israelis keep teaching you your own business. God knows everything but the Israelis know everything better. — George Mikes

Oh my God! You little slut! You want to have a good date with him and want to have ten thousand of his little baseball babies! Cassie!!! — J. Sterling

God made him, and therefore let him pass for a man. — William Shakespeare

If a person wants to be atheistic it's his God-given right to be an atheist. — Mike Patton

It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God - it's ridiculous. — Jimmy Swaggart

Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man. — Rita Rudner