Humor Watch Quotes: top 41 famous quotes about Humor Watch

Humor Watch Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Watch quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The fear of death is why we build cathedrals, have children, declare war, and watch cat videos online at three a.m. — Caitlin Doughty

I watched you undress. Shame on you! — Ljupka Cvetanova

I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed? — Brian Celio

Watch out. Bras are often booby-trapped. — Tiffany Reisz

I guess Smart Seth is glad, he said reluctantly. But be careful. Idiot Seth is the guy to watch out for. — Brandon Mull

Hey, Geekoid!" yelled Duncan Dougal, "Why do you read so much? Don't you know how to watch TV? — Bruce Coville

I don't wear a watch because I want my arms to weigh the same. — Mitch Hedberg

I have a daughter and she's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She gives me a good excuse to watch cartoons. — Green Day

Let's form a committee tasked with exploring why committees are so ineffective. Then we'll stand-back and watch it argue and self-destruct. — Ryan Lilly

You totally need to watch the news."
"Can't."
"Why?"
"It's too depressing."
"Right, because hanging with dead people isn't. — Darynda Jones

Watch out for the icy patch — Jim Henson

As the plane lands in Glasgow airport, passengers are reminded to set their watch back, 25 years. — Frankie Boyle

You also yell at the pigeons outside, watch too many cooking shows, and have a blog entirely dedicated to pictures of yourself. — Marie Jacquelyn

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. — James Beard

Watch very closely as the magical angel and I are swallowed by the rainbow twister, and left stranded on the glitter way. — Lady Gaga

Freedom of speech i can guarantee ,but freedom after speech i can't guarantee ,so watch the the type of words that comes from your mouth. — Lexis Smigz

So I'm on my way to work and I stop to watch a pigeon fight a rat in the snow, and some fuckhead tries to mug me! — Josh Bazell

I used to watch 'The Waltons' and sob because my family was nothing like that. We had a cruel sense of humor in my family. — Paula Poundstone

Watch out for that pedestrian!"
"It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking! — Neil Gaiman

I turned to watch the women on the dance floor, laughing and smiling and watching Travis and Megan vertically dry fucking. — Jamie McGuire

I'll watch a Keanu Reeves movie and I'll go, 'Wow, he's really not a very good actor!' — Ashton Kutcher

I don't watch reality TV, my reality is tough enough. — Alisa Steinberg

Always watch where you are going. Otherwise, you may step on a piece of the Forest that was left out by mistake. — A.A. Milne

You have to watch your language. People will think you have no fucking class — Lani Diane Rich

Watch over Honoria, will you? See that she doesn't marry an idiot. — Julia Quinn

I have to stop crying when I watch "The View". It's not because of the topics at hand, I just feel sorry for that couch. — Zach Galifianakis

Biological clock? I don't even own a watch. — Sarah Mlynowski

We need to talk. All of us About what we're going to do now."
"I was going to watch Project Runway. — Cassandra Clare

Watch out for a man whose enemies keep disappearing. — C.J. Cherryh

But if you don't watch me, I will try and sneak in some humor. I see humor everywhere in life around me. — Marion Ross

Watch it, loincloth, I'm not afraid to spork your eyes out. — Magan Vernon

Graham is late for school because I had him stay up late to watch Citizen Kane. — Elwy Yost

NO greater love has a husband for his wife than to watch a 2hr documentary on an elite ballet competition. — Mark Venturini

Baby, I could watch you watching paint dry, and I still wouldn't be bored." Garrett Graham, my own personal sweet-talker. — Elle Kennedy

So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch." — Tim Vine

A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.' — Mike Birbiglia

You have to watch them all the time,' she assured me darkly. 'Even if the spirit's willing, the flesh is weak! — Trisha Ashley

Watch it, buster. There's only room for one sarcastic malcontent in this relationship. — Christine Warren

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. — Chuck Palahniuk

Why is the third hand on a watch called a second hand? — Steven Wright

Silence, please? I'm trying to watch this documentary." Laurel nodded at The Bachelor. "I believe one of the females is about to present to the alpha. — Cara McKenna