Humor Lies Quotes: top 48 famous quotes about Humor Lies

Humor Lies Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Lies quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Lord love you," Ms. Eulalie said, "but you tell lies like Ms. Franny sings: hard to listen to and even harder to believe. — Kristin Walker

Lies. The great human weapon. Pathetic.
I'd say "pathetic" would be falling for them. Especially Kitty's. — Joss Whedon

Oh, but my stomach, she is like a waterbed covered in flannel. When I lie on my side in bed, my stomach lies politely beside me, like a puppy. — Anne Lamott

I should never make anything of a fisherman. I had not got sufficient imagination — Jerome K. Jerome

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives. — Mark Twain

But it is best to let sleeping facts lie. — Hope Mirrlees

We fiction writers are a brazen lot, are we not? For we, in our passion, embrace just enough truth to consecrate our delicately contrived lies. — Val Edward Simone

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. — Jane Wagner

If you tell me the truth, the truth I'll proclaim.
If you tell me a lie, you'll be fair game. — Belva Rae Staples

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism. — Chelsea Handler

The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. — Douglas Adams

Ask us no questions and we'll tell you no lies. — J.K. Rowling

The reason I talk to myself is because I'm the only one whose answers I accept. — George Carlin

Selling eternal life is an unbeatable business, with no customers ever asking for their money back after the goods are not delivered. — Victor J. Stenger

The love of truth lies at the root of much humor. — Robertson Davies

Wisdom lies in taking everything with good humor and a grain of salt. — George Santayana

Gwynned lies two days westwards; still further south, the weregeld calls. Mayhap with All-Father Woden's favour, my deeds may yet inspire the skalds. — George Gordon Byron

I picture my epitaph: 'Here lies Paul Newman, who died a failure because his eyes turned brown. — Paul Newman

I am relieved. May I now have the truth? — Georgette Heyer

Religion is like a blind man looking in a black room for a black cat that isn't there, and finding it. — Oscar Wilde

I think great humor lies in playing the truth of a situation. I see myself as a performer and that applies to a Greek drama or a modern comedy. — Brendan Coyle

The symbologist made a cryptic sign. That remains to be seen, as the cat said who voided into the sugar bowl. — Jack Vance

I'm a poet, and I like my lies the way my mother used to make them. — Aleister Crowley

Kate Hudson's entire career exists because people who fall in love sometimes tell lies about where they work. — Caroline Kepnes

Something tells me you were never a Girl Scout. — Gwenda Bond

The history books which contain no lies are extremely tedious — Anatole France

To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my machine was broken. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

In a world of full of manipulation, half-truths and lies, the conspiracy theory is often a safer bet than the official story. — Gary Hopkins

Lady, I do not make up things. That is lies. Lies are not true. But the truth could be made up if yo know how. And that's the truth. — Lily Tomlin

I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building. — Charles M. Schulz

Don't ever trust anyone who's writing a book. They make up lies for a living. — Rosemary Clement-Moore

I prefer to make up my own quotes and attribute them to very smart people, so that I can use them to win arguments — Albert Einstein

To tell you the truth. I am a wild and passionate novelist. I am therefore easily given over to telling wild and passionate lies. — Val Edward Simone

I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life. — F Scott Fitzgerald

The hotness of a sex scene lies in the loins of the beholder. — J.Leigh Hunter

Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no fibs. — Oliver Goldsmith

I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else. — Mark Twain

A comedian is better than a politician; at least there is no doubt. — Bangambiki Habyarimana

Under that smiling exterior," Casey said ominously as we took our seats, "lies the soul of a ruthless killer. — Robin Brande

Here lies one who knew how to get around him men who were cleverer than himself — Andrew Carnegie

But I'd learned a long time ago that the worse things are, the more people lie about them. — Ripley Patton

Ronan said, "I'm always straight."
Adam replied "Oh, man, that's the biggest lie you've ever told. — Maggie Stiefvater

Here lies clever Trevor;
Truth was not his friend.
He lied until the end;
Now, he'll lie forever. — Esther Spurrill Jones

Sarcasm is when you tell someone the truth by lying on purpose. — Chuck Klosterman

He who loves lies suffers from no disease than lies! He who believes in and acts upon lies suffers from no disease than ignorance! — Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

It is better to be hurt with the truth than to be encouraged with lies ... — Adedayo Kingjerry

So I didn't have time to craft artful lies and evasions even if I'd wanted to. — Anthony Bourdain

Life is absolutely insane. Yes, life is insane but the great wisdom lies in choosing your insanity wisely. — Paulo Coelho