Humor Jokes Quotes
Collection of top 71 famous quotes about Humor Jokes
Humor Jokes Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor Jokes quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I'm fascinated by idiots... Here's looking at you, kid!
— Fakeer Ishavardas
You need to be my wife to win with me.
— Pawan Mishra
People have lost their sense of humor. In former times, we constantly made jokes about different races.
— Clint Eastwood
We are sometimes hurt mostly or only not by what happened or is happening to us but by being felt sorry for.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Don't threaten me with a good time.
— Michael Anthony
Jokes about butts WORKED.
— Drew Magary
![Humor Jokes Quotes By Penn Jillette: Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke]](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/humor-jokes-quotes-by-penn-jillette-1165417.jpg "Humor Jokes Quotes By Penn Jillette: Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke]")
Even one person's misunderstanding [of a blue joke] may not be worth the next guy's laugh.
— Penn Jillette
I need a woman to have a quirky sense of humor. There's a bunch of jokes I use, and if she doesn't get them, she's probably not for me.
— Matthew Perry
It was a family joke that Lydia's domestic tendencies were somehow misplaced when she was created.
— Lawana Blackwell
I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got 2 heads and 18 lives.
— M.J. McGuire
Is my coitus whimsically inventive?
— Chuck Lorre
I had a dream about you last night. The champagne was non-alcoholic. You didn't notice, and laughed at my jokes anyway.
— Michael Summers
![Humor Jokes Quotes By Michael Shurtleff: Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/humor-jokes-quotes-by-michael-shurtleff-914769.jpg "Humor Jokes Quotes By Michael Shurtleff: Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It")
Humor [in a scene] is not jokes. It is that attitude toward being alive without which you would long ago have jumped off the 59th Street Bridge.
— Michael Shurtleff
If you are reading this then you have wasted another day of your life day dreaming, rather than planning the life God intended you to live.
— Shannon L. Alder
Not every single way of saying the right thing is right.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
The gods too are fond of a joke.
— Aristotle.
I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.
— James C. Humes
I was a lazy reader as a kid. One nutrition label on a box of Cap'n Crunch and I'd have to take a nap.
— M.J. McGuire
The primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy.
— G.K. Chesterton
Why do we have to humiliate someone to crack a joke??? Do what u would like people to do with u..
— Honeya
Another day gone and no jokes.
— Flann O'Brien
I wish there were jokes in the cat world," Buddy sighed. "Want to try to one? Let's think of a prank we can pull on the boys.
— Gretchen Preston
The best jokes are uncalled-for.
— Julien Torma
They say that if you're good at something, never do it for free. But who would pay me to make bad jokes?
— Caleb Eversole
Many a man was caused to perish by something that he and many men cherish.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
— Magdalen Braden
Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.
— Sorin Suciu
I used to wonder why people made New Jersey jokes. I don't anymore.
— E.J. Copperman
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Your wife is a big hippo! My face is melting! My face is meltinnnnggg!
— Terry Pratchett
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb - and I'm not blonde either.
— Dolly Parton
A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I've got a nickle in my pocket.
— Groucho Marx
The TARDIS can look like whatever it wants.
— Mora Early
Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don't laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions
— Criss Jami
A good joke doesn't necessarily need appreciation from others. One can freely laugh at one's own deserving jokes.
— Pawan Mishra
I like George Carlin's jokes. I like his humor. He's one of my heroes, and I like what he did with talking about everyday things.
— Steven Wright
Unbeknown to us, some of the people who we hope are missing us wherever they are do miss us; some miss someone else; and some are dead.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Humor is when the joke's on you but hits the other fellow first before it boomerangs. — Langston Hughes
Life sometimes confuses us by making us discover in someone we hate a quality or qualities we love.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It's a basic rule of humor that a joke is always at somebody's expense. Really good jokes, however, tend to be at everyone's expense.
— Richard Kalvar
By reusing jokes, you train yourself to alter them in ways that are unique to you, developing your own natural sense of humor.
— Charlie Houpert
Jokes are many things. 'Funny' is only one of them.
— Melinda Chapman
I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor.
— Dick Gregory
For every ten jokes - thou hast got an hundred enemies ...
— Laurence Sterne
Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting.
— David Chuka
I have five boys in the family, and it's constant competition, sport, humor, and practical jokes.
— Mitt Romney
Not everyone who condemns masturbation can masturbate.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
She doesn't really have a sense of humor. I think she'd like to have one - it's just that she doesn't quite understand what jokes are for.
— Sophie Kinsella
You know, Ham," Breeze noted. "The only funny thing about your jokes is how often they lack any humor whatsoever.
— Brandon Sanderson
All right, I'll wait another two thousand years to make jokes about my evilness.
— Tui T. Sutherland
We're gonna have to sweeten some of these jokes for the CD. You know what sweeten means, right? Sweeten is a show-biz term for "add sugar to".
— Mitch Hedberg
Humor is not a trick, not jokes. Humor is a presence in the world - like grace - and shines on everybody.
— Garrison Keillor
Joke exchanges are carried on in deadly earnest, like a verbal duel-mouth-to-mouth combat. Bang, bang: you're (linguistically) dead.
— David Crystal
