Humor God Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Humor God

Humor God Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor God quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

We did not determine our fate into the world. What we know is we are here in the world. — Lailah Gifty Akita

There ain't no such thing as the devil that's just god when he's drunk. — Tom Waits

God, I missed you. I missed that." "Missed what?" "You ... your humor, your smile, your touch, your ... everything. — S.C. Stephens

Oh God! I wore granny panties today. I didn't think anyone would see them." She covers her eyes with her hand in embarrassment. — Gisele Walko

If God dropped acid, would he see people? — Steven Wright

Prayer is the time you spend alone with God. — Art Hochberg

Man - a figment of God's imagination. — Mark Twain

God probably thinks it's worth giving a sense of humor only to those of us who have to laugh at all the rubbish bits that are wrong with us. — Allison Pearson

I felt very close to God ... My friends say that's because I was always on my knees. — Armistead Maupin

Tara shook her head slowly. "For a dinosaur worshipper, you don't seem to be a god-fearing man. — Tom Wright

The beginning of forgiveness is often exhaustion. You're pooped; thank God. — Anne Lamott

Ah, vampire humor. Thank God it never got old, said no one ever. — Chloe Neill

God is the creator of all good plot twists! — Shannon L. Alder

Somehow people forget that there is God ...
what more to us we're just individuals,,
to forget is part of imperfections.. — Orosa Nakpil Malate

Eve "I shopped,"she said
Roarke "Dear God! Are you all right? Should I call for the MTs?"
Eve "Smartass. — J.D. Robb

Uhm, Kevin ... "
"Be quiet, or I swear to God I'll take you right here."
Yes, this was definitely Forced Sex.
Thank goodness. — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

On the sixth day God saw He couldn't do it all, so He created ENGINEERS — Lois McMaster Bujold

In God we trust, all others pay cash. — Margaret Atwood

If God had wanted me to lose weight he would have made sure there was creamed spinach for dessert. — Janet Evanovich

Is this why you think you are chosen by God, because only you can understand the funnies that you make about yourself? — Jonathan Safran Foer

Laughter is the hand of God on the shoulder of a troubled world. — Grady Nutt

A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and Holy Ghost on drums. — Hunter S. Thompson

When God made man she was practicing. — Rita Mae Brown

God is Santa Claus for Grown-Ups. — Oliver Markus

By God, I'll have more booty in a moment. — Sophocles

Before I could turn to look up, a voice boomed from the heavens: "What the heck is going on down there? — Kat Falls

Grace creates liberated laughter. The grace of God ... is beautiful, and it radiates joy and awakens humor. — Karl Barth

You can't believe that AIDS is a curse from God against Gays without accepting that Lyme Disease is a curse from the same God against Deer Hunters ... — T. Rafael Cimino

Coleman Jacoby and Arnie Rosen won an Emmy and Mel Brooks didn't! Niezsche was right! There is no God! There is no God! — Mel Brooks

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring. — Chuck Palahniuk

Oh. My. God. I kissed a prince, I flipping kissed a prince! I flipping tongued him! — Luella Christie

People say we are playing God. My answer is: If we don't play God, who will? — James D. Watson

Most preachers say the nature of God is unknowable, but I'm certain of one thing at least. God almighty has a sense of humor. — Robert Ferrigno

Faith is Hope on a treadmill. Love is the reason we stay on. — Solange Nicole

Remove God from the world of ideas. Remove government, politics from society. Keep sex, humor, utilities. Let private property go. — John Cage

Listen, do you really expect me to believe that God lives beneath the Vatican?- Ezio Auditore — Oliver Bowden

Oh God, unattractive and pompous. A winning combination. My inner control panel is screaming ABORT! ABORT! — Lauren Morrill

If I convert it's because it's better that a believer dies than that an atheist does. — Christopher Hitchens

They swoon over Tom, who preens for them, bowing, which sets them to blushing and giggling.
God help us all. — Libba Bray

Going to church is not a sign of going to God, if you think he is omnipresent, he is right there in your soul and bedroom. — Michael Bassey Johnson

The roof was torn off the gym. God's way of telling the jocks that they'd better remember who's really charge. — Dana Reinhardt

It's ironic that as scientists that don't believe in god, were the ones that are closest to god. — Hiromu Arakawa

A lot of people say, 'Hey, God doesn't have a sense of humor.' Yes, He does. God has a great sense of humor. — Si Robertson

My God, Jack - with a look like that, you two should just get a room. And try not to pick the one with a dead body next to it this time. — Julie James

Children are lovable and adorable. — Lailah Gifty Akita

You can't make it to God without interacting with the devil.
'The Adventures of Catrine and the Devil II — Stephan Attia

Never mind what God is doing. What are you doing? That's called interspection. — Art Hochberg

The reason God never fails is because he fears to fail — Adelaja Precious

It's kind of shocking to hear Toby called a babe; sort of like calling God a studmuffin. — Margaret Atwood

I commend my soul to any god that can find it. — Terry Pratchett

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families. — Jay McInerney

Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God's. — Val McDermid

If God exists, I hope he has a good excuse. — Woody Allen

And you call yourself a Christian,' were Hilly's words to me and I thought, God. When did I ever do that? — Kathryn Stockett

Sin endeavors to subject the blessed God to the humor and lust of every person in the world — Stephen Charnock

God made the world in 6 days. I can't even remember what I did last week. — Brian L. Tucker

Did I hear God call me an idiot? — William Paul Young

But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He's one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice! — Bill Watterson

If there is a god maybe it rewards those who don't believe on the basis of insufficient evidence
and punishes those who do. — Peter Boghossian

Christians rejected the need for proof to support belief in God, yet dismissed proof altogether when it was there. — Kira Peikoff

God, don't laugh!" Jamie said, alarmed. "I didna mean to make ye laugh! Christ, Jenny will kill me if ye cough up a lung and die out here! — Diana Gabaldon

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad,
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. — G.K. Chesterton

Have you met the French? My ... GOD they know how to party! — Steven Moffat

I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there. — Jonathan Tropper

A true friend is a gift from God. Since God doesn't exist, guess what? Neither do true friends. — Scott Dikkers

I refuse to put God into a little box I can handle, for that would insult us both. — L.M. Fields

Good God." he said incredulously. "You've got a black belt in purse attack, that's for damn sure. — Linda Howard

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers, but no one was born with a knowledge of God. — Voltaire

I remind you that I have no faith. If I sought God, I find myself. — Henry De Montherlant

You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. — Anne Lamott

God, if you ever loved me, open my eyes for me when I'm being this stupid! (Ron) — Kim Harrison

I have been to the speed of God, sir ... and I discommend it. — John Ringo

God save me from idealists. — Jim Butcher

Clarity and focus doesn't always come from God or inspirational quotes. Usually, it takes your mother to slap the reality back into you. — Shannon L. Alder

God in his infinite wisdom
Did not make me very wise-
So when my actions are stupid
They hardly take God by surprise. — Langston Hughes

Theology, philosophy, metaphysics, and quantum physics are merely ways for God to have his smart people believe in him — Jeremy Aldana

God, I love a man who reads — Tiffany Reisz

My grandmother said sex was the best gift God ever gave to mankind-I think it is over rated. — Brenda Kay Winters

Thank God for wisecracks. — Jim Butcher

Joy, humor, and laughter should be part of everyone's spiritual life. They are gifts from God and help us enjoy creation. — James Martin

Even Google can't reach God. — Brian L. Tucker

This coming from the god who zinged Guinevere and Lancelot while King Arthur was away slaying dragons. — Tai

You wanna know how to make God laugh?" he said. "Tell him your plans." (God-shaped Hole) — Tiffanie DeBartolo

That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery. — Stephen King

Australians, we've got a very healthy sense of humor in us. God forbid we take ourselves too seriously so it's kind of a cultural trait. — Rose Byrne

If we assume that man actually does resemble God, then we are forced into the impossible theory that God is a coward, an idiot and a bounder. — H.L. Mencken

He who understands philosophy understands laughter. That mysterious Word at the beginning, mentioned in the Bible, is a divine guffaw. — Alejandro Jodorowsky

God bless us, everyone," Smithback intoned. Margo punched him playfully. — Douglas Preston

Every time you come in yelling that God damn "Rise and Shine!" "Rise and Shine!" I say to myself, "How lucky dead people are! — Tennessee Williams

God, there's nothing like embarrassing a ginger to improve my mood — Melissa DeCarlo

Do you have my pussy? Oh God, cat!
Do you have my cat? — M.A. Stacie

Say it, woman."
"It. Woman."
"God, you're a pain. — Kristan Higgins

God picked me to be his punching bag ... so who am I suposed to pray to for mercy? — S.L.J. Shortt

If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy. — Robert Fulghum

Don't talk to me like that! I am your mother! Oh, God the Father, I have raised a monster! — Carlos Malvar

Sometimes you just gotta wear the tinfoil hat. — Gary Hopkins

If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke. — Hugh Elliot

I think God gave us senses of humor, and we should use them. — Vera Farmiga

I looked to the ceiling and told God, God, next time I want an adventure, strike me with lightning. You have my permission. — Kristen Ashley

If we really exist merely to fulfill God's plan: then life is a television drama; with God being the scriptwriter, the director, and, the audience. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana