Humor For The Day Quotes
Collection of top 24 famous quotes about Humor For The Day
Humor For The Day Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Humor For The Day quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
— Tommy Cooper
Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
— Terry Pratchett
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
— Terry Pratchett
Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
— George Carlin
Thanksgiving day was a holiday when everybody in the country was expected to express gratitude to the creator of the universe mainly for food.
— Kurt Vonnegut
A girl never forgets two things: the day she started her period for the first time, and the day she met the love of her life.
— Janice Thompson
For unto you is given this day a boot to the head.
— Adam Sternbergh
One thing I have to give Christians; were it not for Sunday, every day of the week would be a workday.
— Lex Allen
A mind without a secret is with a question mark! A mind with so many secrets shall attract an exclamation one day!
— Ernest Agyemang Yeboah
Day dreaming is actually research for the next book.
— Val Richards
Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.
— Jenny McCarthy
I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.
— Janet Evanovich
Thought for the day: Twitter ... 140 character limit ... must be a great tool for fortune cookie writers ...
— E.A. Bucchianeri
This is very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm just gonna go ahead and find Amelia Earhart. Every day that goes by, I just fear the worst for her.
— Kristen Schaal
Just the other day I said to Fang, "Don't you think we've got a storybook romance?" and he said, "Yes, and every page is ripped.
— Phyllis Diller
April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
— Mark Twain
Humor comes in all forms, and everyone has their cup of tea about what makes them laugh. But the day we censor humor is a sad one for sure.
— Marlee Matlin
I'm over the hill for come-on lines. On a quiet day, I can hear my liver rotting. For exercise, I fall down. ~ Clete
— James Lee Burke
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
— Carroll Bryant
No hard feelings about that time in the Crucible when you mixed my salts and I was nearly blind for a day. No. No, really, drink up!
— Patrick Rothfuss
Limit your day to what you feel comfortable with doing - put the rest on the shelf - for further consideration down the line.
— Art Hochberg