Him Funny Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Him Funny
Him Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Him Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
She gave him a cold and enraged glare. 'You are so pathetic, you make me want to vomit.
— Morgan Rhodes
I don't want to dig him or his sexy self. But I keep losing my clothes when I'm with him.
— Jill Shalvis
Scott Foley was always fun because he's a very funny guy. So I liked working with him a bunch.
— Ian Gomez
But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.
— J.K. Rowling
What did you think of him?" Cade asked."Give me some credit," Zach said. "Guy's more full of shit than a duck pond. — Christopher Farnsworth
After a time he fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy.
— J.M. Barrie
I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
— Rodney Dangerfield
What do you say when your friends come to visit and the dog starts humping their leg. Well, if it's a pit bull, you say, "You better let him finish."
— Robert Schimmel
The besom of reform hath swept him out of office, and a worthier successor wears his dignity and pockets his emoluments.
— Nathaniel Hawthorne
Montefusco bare-hands it and throws him out. That grounder will make you a traveling salesman in a hurry!
— Jerry Coleman
If Pete Rose brings the Reds in first, they ought to bronze him and put him in cement.
— Jerry Coleman
Your name. That's all I want. I debate on whether or not I should explain to him that my name isn't going to help him in his stalking endeavours.
— Colleen Hoover
Well, you're a lucky man," Will said, as Nathan began to steer him out. "She certainly gives a good bed bath.
— Jojo Moyes
He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes.
— Sarah Jessica Parker
A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.
— John Cleese
He's the meanest one. We call him..Byrd the Turd
— Marthe Jocelyn
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
— Claude Pepper
Who would want him? he asks himself. Certainly not Ahana, who's funny, bright and so beautiful that it hurts.
— Durjoy Datta
I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."
— Tim Vine
I dream of acting with Kevin Costner. I would love to do a movie with him. Not something funny, but a dramatic role.
— Bill Engvall
Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.
— William Makepeace Thackeray
You'll never call him Fifi again.
— Lynda Barry
This is the biggest damn IPod I've ever seen," Claire said, which made him choke on his beer. "Kidding. I have seen a jukebox before.
— Rachel Caine
Did Cap'n Vidious leave that? He is such a cuddlebunny." "Yeah," I said, "that's exactly how I'd describe him. — Joel N. Ross
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
— Norm MacDonald
I'm always more motivated by the pain of a funny character than by what makes him funny.
— Jason Alexander
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
— Ellen DeGeneres
But there was nothing funny about his sword. Jason figured one hit from that thing would probably turn him into a Popsicle. Then
— Rick Riordan
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?" He said, "because I was going up!"
— Henny Youngman
I'm tired, I'm hungry and I have a head in a bag," I warned him. "Do not fuck with me.
— Karen Chance
You 'accidentally' touched his bottom? Didn't that happen when you last saw him aswell? Surprising how often that seems to be a problem. — Twisted Hilarity
Mansell can see him in his earphone.
— Murray Walker
Laser light flickered all over him as if he was a packet of biscuits at a super-market check-out.
— Douglas Adams
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
— Steve Martin
My son is 21. He'll be 22 if I let him.
— Henny Youngman
He took your sweet, funny, perfect heart ... and he destroyed it. Why do you keep letting him do it over and over again?
— Jess Rothenberg
Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.
— Molly Harper
She'd met Colin on a Monday.She'd kissed him on a Friday.
Twelve years later.
She sighed. It seemed fairly pathetic. — Julia Quinn
On the best tactic when playing alongside Kareem Abdul-Jabbar- Just give him the ball.
— Magic Johnson
I didn't notice him coming, but he didn't seem to be looking for an autograph signature
— George Harrison
That's right, you get him, Mary. Don't let him change the subject!
— Alexandra Bracken
I realized I'd only seen him at night in dim, flattering restaurant lighting. The sun was not his friend.
— Augusten Burroughs
Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him?~ Susan — Sherrilyn Kenyon
Mrs. Darling's kiss with him. The kiss that had been for no one else Peter took quite easily. Funny.
— J.M. Barrie
It's funny how the closer you get to God, the more you realize how far you are from Him.
— Mark Hart
We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear.
— Amy Schumer
A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible.
— Barack Obama
The guy had guts - I had to give him that. Later on I was hoping for a first-hand look at them.
— Rob Thurman
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"
— Billy Connolly
I didn't want to spoil the mood. This was probably the longest Daemon and I had ever spoken without some statement earning him the finger.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him.
— Noel Fielding
Take them off!" I told him, grabbing the front of his jeans. "Take everything off!""I'm trying!"
"Try harder! — Karen Chance
Are you . . . lost?" "Not really," she told him. "We just don't know where we're going. — Joel N. Ross
What did you want me to do? Ask him for money?
— Mariana Zapata
You're impossible," she told him. "Of course I am," he answered. "It's part of my charm. — David Eddings
He looks funny in a suit jacket, like a bear dressed up in costume for the circus. I would never tell him that, though.
— Lauren Oliver
I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like, in the olden-timey days.
— Sarah Silverman
An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Forgive my brother," Camira apologized. "We don't normally let him out of his cage when guests are present.
— Brandon Mull
His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait that; in a spaniel. Or a whore.
— Michael Dobbs
That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on.
— John Lambie
No way!" I yelled, taking it from him."I can't believe I made a pink knife."
"It's so cute! I love it. Finally, a companion worthy of Tasey. — Kiersten White
Let go of him, for cryin' out loud!
— Virginia Smith
Four young men in motorcycle jackets... set upon the man in khaki shorts and beat him unconscious with his own sandwich board.
— Stephen King
Life's funny that way, kind of like a dad who thinks it's hilarious to tie his kid up in a dark closet and leave him there for the weekend. Yeah,
— Patrick Thomas
![Him Funny Quotes By Groucho Marx: [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart.](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/him-funny-quotes-by-groucho-marx-353774.jpg "Him Funny Quotes By Groucho Marx: [Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart.")
[Mrs. Teasdale]: He's had a change of heart. [Groucho]: A lot of good that'll do him. He's still got the same face.
— Groucho Marx
I'm gonna pray for him.
— Bruce Irvin
I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
— Zsa Zsa Gabor
Don't be too nice to him," I teased. "He'll never leave.
— Juliet Blackwell
It's funny how you can know a person, think of him as your closest friend, and still never gain access to the secret chambers in his heart.
— Jennifer Finney Boylan
