Health Funny Quotes: top 31 famous quotes about Health Funny

Health Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Health Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

You spend your TIME to make a DIME. You lose your HEALTH to make your WEALTH, but at the end it is FUNNY because you leave back all your MONEY. — R.v.m.

History is never antiquated, because humanity is always fundamentally the same. — Walter Rauschenbusch

I know a guy who had his doctor say, "Take some weight off, go to a health club." The man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off! — Henny Youngman

You have to be able to tolerate what you don't necessarily like so you can be free. — Larry Flynt

Reply when questioned on the safety of the polio vaccine he developed:
It is safe, and you can't get safer than safe. — Jonas Salk

Is there no God, then, but at best an absentee God, sitting idle, ever since the first Sabbath, at the outside of his Universe? — Thomas Carlyle

It's so funny that people specify that year because in a way it was the biggest battle for me health wise. — Brady Anderson

I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job. — Steven Wright

I'm a big health food freak and a vegetarian devotee. — Chelsea Clinton

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health. — Cassandra Clare

Unhealthy behavior is actually common among doctors, who tend to know a lot about medicine but very little about health. — Sol Luckman

It's hard to find other musicians that push you to go somewhere new all the time. — Jack White

I don't need a personal trainer ... I need someone to stalk me and threaten to kick my ass when I eat and drink stuff I'm not supposed to! — Tanya Masse

Literature doesn't exactly have a strong mental-health track record. — Lemony Snicket

Fitness - if it came in a bottle, everybody would have a great body. — Cher

My only problem is finding a way to play my fortieth fallen female in a different way from my thirty-ninth. — Barbara Stanwyck

I made it my job to know good music, Tom. It's why I'm here ... with you. — Fisher Amelie

I'm actually way more funny now, because I'm hungry ... If comedy comes from pain, I should be funnier now than I ever was. — Seth Rogen

I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine. — Emily Bronte

You have more issues than Reader's Digest. — Rebecca McNutt

Gossip is one thing, hurtful gossip is completely another, and even in high school we weren't THAT mean. — Nicholas Sparks

You want loyalty, hire a cocker spaniel. — Michael Lewis

You know, sex at seventy-six is getting very dangerous for my health ... since I live at seventy-nine! — Kensington Gore

I keep trying to block it out, but it keeps on coming back. — Jenny Han

Laughter is the only medicine, without side effects. — Shannon L. Alder

Envy and fear are the only passions to which no pleasure is attached. — John Churton Collins

Ish #303 It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. — Regina Griffin

Never miss a party ... good for the nerves
like celery. — F Scott Fitzgerald

After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse. — W.C. Fields

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!" — Henny Youngman

Racers never lose their skill, they just lose the will to use it, and until they reach that point they keep getting faster. — Mat Oxley