Hands Funny Quotes: top 29 famous quotes about Hands Funny

Hands Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Hands Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Her hands were large and knuckley and calloused, made to hold a rifle, not a needle. — Hilary Mantel

She's so elderly that I'm sure she was alive before sex was invented. She conceived Mick's Dad by shaking hands with a stork. — Charlotte Stein

Sid slapped her hands on the bar. "Good Lord, woman, unclench your sphincter and have another drink. — Terri Osburn

Montefusco bare-hands it and throws him out. That grounder will make you a traveling salesman in a hurry! — Jerry Coleman

I wish I had more hands, so I could give those titties four thumbs down! — Dave Chappelle

I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing. — Emma Bunton

If he didn't want to be mauled by a sex-starved woman who hadn't gotten any skin in months, he'd better keep his hands to himself. — Jody Wallace

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. — Bill Cosby

Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them. — Mae West

Labor is a man crowning glory."
"Not this man's."
"I quote Marx"
I raised my hands. The pickaxe handle had been rough.
"I quote blisters. — John Fowles

Money feels funny in my hands. If I give you this slice of paper, you let me on the bus? It's ridiculous. — Cameron Jace

It's a good thing Jack was no longer in my hands, because I would've pulled a full-on Kylo Ren temper tantrum. — Rick Riordan

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy it. — Adam Carolla

We sat on the floor for dinner. Ananya's father passed me a banana leaf. I wondered if i had to eat it or wipe my hands with it. — Chetan Bhagat

Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains. — Bauvard

For my sustenance at night,
the whole that my hands can glean
from the gloom of the oak-gloomed oaks
the herbs and the plenteous fruits ... — Flann O'Brien

Two men spit in their hands, help each other out, then laugh about it later. Just to be silly. — Jim Norton

I had a chicken finger that was so big, it was a chicken hand. — Mitch Hedberg

A Scot is a man who keeps the Sabbath, and everything else he can lay his hands on. — Chic Murray

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand. — Mark Twain

If there were an international butt competition, Eric would win, hands down - or cheeks up. — Charlaine Harris

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years - barnyard sounds. — Simone Elkeles

...and yes that was meant to be interpreted in a sarcastic bubblegum tone complete with clapping and jazz hands. — K.R. Grace

He really needed to stop being so hot while his hands were on me. — Veronica Blade

My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts. — Demetri Martin

Men weigh love with hands. — Ljupka Cvetanova

We are about to be eaten by a dragon, you're crawling on bleeding hands through bat droppings, and you're worried about being proper? — Bethany Wiggins

No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain. — Ivan Stoikov