Girls Humor Quotes: top 89 famous quotes about Girls Humor

Girls Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Girls Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Stalking the girls' softball team again? — Laurie Faria Stolarz

I swear to Go, if I see one of you girls anywhere near us, I'll have your prospective spouses whip you, fifties-style. — Amelie Fisher

Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass. — M.F. Moonzajer

What's your name?"
"Emma Gould," she said. "What's yours?"
"Wanted."
"By all the girls or just the law? — Dennis Lehane

Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won't sparkle in the sunshine, he'll just marry you. — Nick Shamhart

I take that back. Saying you fight like a girl is an insult to girls everywhere. — Wesley Chu

I feel pretty sure I know why the dinosaurs went extinct. They were waiting for Sam to pick out a cell phone case. — P. Anastasia

Hunky Heroes, rescuing distressed women, captive princesses, and girls without wheels since 1684. p. 450 — Lauren Oliver

Anyone that looked like that wouldn't need to tie up girls and imprison them in order to get them to marry him — Cassandra Clare

Strippers should be role-models for little girls. If only for the fact that they wax their assholes. — Sarah Silverman

Someday, my young friend, you'll find out that girls are actually people too. Just like you and me. — Heather Brewer

Girls can do anything boys can do in high heels! — Brooke Sachau

I didn't like his tone. In fact I didn't like boys' tone when they knew they were hot and tried to be rude to girls because they knew they were hot. — Luella Christie

Show me a girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and I'll show you a girl who can't put her pants on.
-Annik Marchand — Ann Brashares

Because you're a girl and when a girl says she's fine, she's lying. — J.A. George

How often have not the demons called 'Nix,' drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with fearful consequences. — Martin Luther

Like the ski resort of girls looking for husbands and husbands looking for girls, the situation is not as symmetrical as it might seem. — Alan McKay

Girls want to be with guys who have a sense of humor-it makes them far more attractive to us. — Drew Barrymore

Some girls are like ants in your pants — P.G. Wodehouse

Trust her; we girls are two sheets short of psycho when it comes to our special little time. — Sandi Lynn

A baseball club for girls? — Emily J. Proctor

We watched Vamps hunting Vamps, Vamp hunters and Witches torching Vamps, teenage girls kissing Vamps. And we giggled and swooned through it all. — Shelly Crane

You girls need to work on your fucking happy noises," Ryke says angrily. "They shouldn't sound like someone is being assaulted. — Krista Ritchie

What exactly constitutes an emergency in a modelling agency? Two girls fighting to death with a hair straightener? — Kate Forster

'Tell Suzie she's a lucky cat.' Have sexier words ever been spoken? — Ally Carter

Accept the fact that girls squeal when they're happy or confused or excited or scared or because they just saw a certain boy in line. — Harry H. Harrison Jr.

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said.
"Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison. — Maureen Johnson

Good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere — Helen Gurley Brown

I'm not saying you're weak, but you brawl like a couple of girls having a pillow fight. — Andrew Sturm

When you celebrate, there is sure to be cake."
Florence Ditlow, in "The Bakery Girls. — Florence Ditlow

Please do not strain yourself, Miss Doyle. I won't have my girls going cross-eyed in the name of art. — Libba Bray

You're human, that's what I like about you. Well not that you're a human, well yes that you're human but that you're a girl human. — Evelyn Smith

I've had so many bikini waxes, I cry every time I see a Popsicle stick. — Libba Bray

I'm not trouble at all. I'm just a guy trying to get a girl to give him the time of day. I'm like every song on the radio. — Hailey Abbott

She's a lesbian Marty. Girls, she likes girls and no amount of frosted eye shadow is going to make her want dick. — Dakota Cassidy

Beatrix, do you know what happens to girls who ask such naughty questions?"
"They're ravished in haylofts?" she inquired hopefully. — Lisa Kleypas

It takes 3 girls to tow always; two to hold the rope, and the other one runs round and round, and giggles. — Jerome K. Jerome

Even as zombies, ridiculous prom gowns were the downfall of teenage girls, crippling them at the knees. — G.G. Silverman

Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding — Jesse Andrews

I liked my face. Ethan liked my face. A lot of people liked my face. Besides, makeup was really just glorified face paint. — D.A. Paul

Just because it looks like a leprechaun and talks like a leprechaun, it doesn't mean it can't act like the little fucking demon it is. — N.L. Gervasio

I hate girls that giggle all the time ...
You hate any girl that David looks at. — Audrey Hepburn

Girls have got balls. They're just a little higher up, that's all. — Joan Jett

Turns out, most girls would rather put on lip gloss than play with sand toads. — Jenny Lundquist

I could only approach girls half my age, so I never brought any girl home. Mom thought I was disciplined, but the truth is that I was deprived. — Nick Nwaogu

It was all fine until the girls started drinking. (Everything is always fine up until that point.) — John Duover

boys, girls and music . . why do they need gin? — Frank

I like girls who are funny with a warped sense of humor. — Robert Buckley

Did you hear that? I'm special. — Ally Carter

See there?" Jem was scowling triumphantly. "Nothin' to it. I swear, Scout, sometimes you act so much like a girl its mortifyin — Harper Lee

You're staring," Lana said.
"Yes. I am. I'm a teenage boy. Beautiful girls in wet underwear have a tendency to cause staring in teenage boys. — Michael Grant

A good since of humor and someone who is loyal and cute-I like cute girls — Harry Styles

Just 'Your mother.'" But it doesn't work if girls say it to each other," she continues. "You have to have a penis for it to affect you in such a way. — Melina Marchetta

I like girls with a good sense of humor. — Tyler Posey

Modern art is what happens when painters stop looking at girls and persuade themselves that they have a better idea. — John Ciardi

When girls walk home we put on lippy and makeup. We chat. Sometimes we pretend to be hunchbacks. But that is it. Perfectly normal behavior. — Louise Rennison

Because - oh shut up laughing, you two - because they've just been turned down by girls they asked to the ball! — J.K. Rowling

The two had been together since they were little girls, and so loved and hated each other like sisters. — Christopher Moore

Lions and tigers and pissed-off girls, oh my. — Katie Bayerl

Young girls and mass murders are tender hearted creatures — Pierre Lemaitre

Maybe you can explain to me what is so spectacular about her, because you gay girls can't seem to keep your hands off that daffy redhead. — Cassandra Duffy

I like girls who eat Carrots. ~ Louis Tomlinson — One Direction

Oh, sorry. My excitement must be clouding my ability to judge comedic hyperbole. — Daniel Palladino

Girls. Jesus Christ. They can drive you crazy. - Holden Caulfield — J.D. Salinger

I totally bought you as a girl," says Marisol. "I'll double check with Frances later, but by the sounds of things, you seem to have no balls. — Dana Reinhardt

Girls, if a boy says something that isn't funny, you don't have to laugh. — Amy Poehler

Are red haired girls, red all over? — Anurag Mathur

Face it girls. I'm older and I have more insurance. — Fannie Flagg

I tell you, I'm half tempted to break into CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon out of CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon — Ally Carter Only The Good Spy Young

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

McKenzie was Caroline's primary wingman. They had matching Coach bags to prove it. — Amy LaPalme

Ducks and geese are foolish things, and must be looked after, but girls can take care of themselves. — Washington Irving

It never really occurred to her that literary men, if they like women at all, do not want literary women but girls. — Muriel Spark

The venn diagram of boys who don't like smart girls and boys you don't wanna date is a circle. — John Green

sticks and stones might break your bones, but cement pays homage to tradition. — Estelle Getty

I'm a big fan of independent girls who are strong-willed, vocal in their opinions, and have a sense of humor. — David Lambert

As a journalist, I am compelled to know the answers."
"As a girl, I am compelled to protect what's left of my manicure," Petra said. — Libba Bray

If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised. — Dorothy Parker

The prettier the wine bottle, the higher the likelihood sorority girls will buy it. — Lauren Leto

Girls are like slugs - they probably serve some purpose, but it's hard to imagine what. — Bill Watterson

Well, in the first place girls never marry the men they flirt with. Girls don't think it right. — Oscar Wilde

Katy skipped over, her low-rise jeans threatening to fall off her skinny hips. With some girls, that was a sexy look. With Katy, it made you nervous. — Sara Zarr

Few girls go to Washrooms just to take selfies — Subhasis Das

When you see what some girls marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living. — Helen Rowland

My little girls can break my heart. They can make me cry just looking at them eating their string beans. — Barack Obama

I felt bad for the girls in my school, who flocked to prom like it was the second coming of Christ, complete with double-rainbows and unicorns. — G.G. Silverman

I frequently observe that one pretty face would be followed by five and thirty frights. — Jane Austen

Girls are not born with a devotion to sanitation. — Marcia Aldrich

Girls are so much nicer than men (apart from Tom-but homosexual). — Helen Fielding