Girl Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Girl Humor

Girl Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Girl Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

A girl's reaction to an offer for her first kiss should not be vomit. — April Erwin

Baby girl, five minutes alone with me and you're gonna be begging me to taste your pie. — Carmen Jenner

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. — Mae West

I take that back. Saying you fight like a girl is an insult to girls everywhere. — Wesley Chu

Goodness, a girl steps out of the office for a couple days and the whole world ends! — A.J. Lauer

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. — Shannon Hale

When I dreamed about becoming a fantasy adventurer, I was always a max-level character with epic gear. Look at me. I'm wearing vendor trash. — Noelle Alladania Meade

For everyone knows that a girl cannot live on chicken cordon blue alone. — Lindsay Eland

The girl in your class who suggests that this year the Drama Club put on The Bald Soprano will be a thorn in people's sides all of her life. — Fran Lebowitz

Don't be stupider than you need to be, I remind myself. Remember Calease? The last glowing girl you talked to tried to kill you. — Erica Cameron

Why can't you just knock a girl up? I need a grandbaby. — Toni Aleo

Vomit and shit, even your own, stink. — Sheeja Jose

Gross. That girl is a slutty, slutty skank bag. — Shealy James

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms. — Rodney Dangerfield

Optimism is the young boy who notices that a girl notices that he notices her. — R.N. Prasher

One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up. — Carroll Bryant

Girls want to be with guys who have a sense of humor-it makes them far more attractive to us. — Drew Barrymore

I felt like the girl who showed up at a formal dinner party in jeans and a Pink Floyd T-shirt. Probably 'cause I did that once. — Darynda Jones

Oh baby", Madoc groaned to the girl next to him. "Snickers ain't the only thing king sized. — Penelope Douglas

You can't be a bad girl, unless you actually do something bad."

-Megan Barnett — E. Van Lowe

From time to time, you may see a girl wearing her black opaque tights as pants. They are, in fact, not. — Nina Garcia

Well, no, not married as such, but yes, there is a specific girl that I'm not married to. — Douglas Adams

Or, as Nikolas had said, in tones of admiration, She can tell you to go to hell in a way that will send you running of to pack your bags. — Mercedes Lackey

Great. This girl was going to seriously mess with my ability to stay on parole. ~Maggie Mae Castro — Beth Yarnall

Crew up, Nailer!" Lucky Girl shouted. "You think I'm going to pull your ass up here like a damn swank? — Paolo Bacigalupi

For a girl with such a fat ass, I felt pretty invisible. — Kody Keplinger

You're a ring-wearing, save-yourself-for-marriage kind of girl. I dig that. — E.C. Newman

Now there's a girl I don't want to mess with' - or at least, that's what I would think if I had a chronic fear of freakishly nice people. — Nenia Campbell

Miss Bennet was therefore established as a sweet girl, and their brother felt authorized by such a commendation to think of her as he chose. — Jane Austen

I don't mind hot and spicy. Actually find that appealing in a girl. And chicken wings. — Julie James

Time changes nothing, girl, but the size of your underwear ... and hopefully your hairdo. — Minton Sparks

Riley: give me a romantic comedy any day.
rhoan: your jest a girly-girl at heart, arent you?
riley: takes one to know one, bro. — Keri Arthur

A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.' — Mike Birbiglia

Any moment now ... " The girl [Calypso] stared out at the water.
No magical raft appeared.
"Maybe it got stuck in a traffic," Leo said. — Rick Riordan

Man, my girl is one tough chick when she wants to be. I wonder if it has something to do with those
big, comfy granny panties she's got on. — Simone Elkeles

My superhero name should be Density Girl. — Gini Koch

You astound me, Ava. I've never met a girl who would order what you just did in front of a guy."
"You mean lunch? — Nicole Gulla

My cell phone, back in my training days, was the size of a box of girl scout cookies — J.D. Holmes

I could only approach girls half my age, so I never brought any girl home. Mom thought I was disciplined, but the truth is that I was deprived. — Nick Nwaogu

You messed with the wrong white girl, motherfucker! Tyler shouted. — Jeaniene Frost

She says with that misty
far-away look in her eyes. Like conjunctivitis. — Aditi Mathur Kumar

I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her. — Rodney Dangerfield

The girl slid into the back seat of the town car, tugging at the hem of her dress like she was afraid she might leave a stain on the upholstery. — John McNee

This is worse than Hollywood, he thought. A girl comes in with a pork chop and I write a song for her. — Eva Ibbotson

When a boy's first romantic interlude is with Phoebe the Dog-Faced Girl, he feels a need to get out into the world and find a new life. — Annette Curtis Klause

I wondered how a man ever got an English girl into bed. What did they do with her hockey stick? — James A. Michener

I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of ... here. — C. JoyBell C.

If the girl of my dreams want a man with a hairless chest, I better dream of another girl — Haresh Daswani

Michael had to pound me a couple of times to convince me not to go stage a rescue." Shane shrugged. "He hits like a girl, for a vampire. — Rachel Caine

Are they made with real girl scouts — Wednesday Addams

She's a girl after my own heart. Food first, conversation later. — Kelly Risser

...You can always tell a Party Girl by her foot tattoo... — Inejiro Koizumi

He's quite extraordinary with his moves and spins. I think he was a baton girl in a past life [on his co-star Hayden Christensen]. — Ewan McGregor

As a journalist, I am compelled to know the answers."
"As a girl, I am compelled to protect what's left of my manicure," Petra said. — Libba Bray

Whenever, it comes for a boy to buy for a boy, he does not have money, and when it comes for a girl, he owns a bank. — Piyush Naik

This is why I have trust issues.
-A girl realizing her shampoo will never make her look like the model in the advertisement — Julie Johnson

The only way I won't be re-elected is if I were found in bed with a dead girl or a live boy. — Edwin Edwards

Can't you just like a girl who likes you back?'
'None of them likes me back. I may as well like the one I really want. — Rainbow Rowell

Laugh if you are wise, girl, laugh. — Marcus Valerius Martialis

You're a fine fastidious young man, as proud as a lion, as gentle as a girl. You'd make a good catch for the devil. — Honore De Balzac

I think 'Country Girl' is one song that can veer into country or hip-hop or rap. You can listen to it and enjoy the humor and the fun in it. — Luke Bryan

A girl should NEVER attend a party with hairy knees. — Kimberly J. Dalferes

I think I killed a girl who looked like this once. — Kendare Blake

Do you want your scarf back?' I asked.
'No, just the girl who goes with it.'
Oh my gosh, that guy knows his lines. — Robin Brande

isn't telling a girl you just loooooove eating horsemeat one step away from saying you haven't lived 'til you've eaten puppy skewers? — Rachel Dratch

I might be 30 years old, but a girl never outgrows the need for her mother. — Debbie Macomber

You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony. — Jim Butcher

Amaranthe cleared her throat. Enough girl talk. There are enemy cabins full of dastardly old ladiesthat we must infiltrate. — Lindsay Buroker

A good since of humor and someone who is loyal and cute-I like cute girls — Harry Styles

Multiplication is vexation, division is as bad, the rule of three perplexes me and fractions drive me mad!
(the story girl) — L.M. Montgomery

Papa loves you with a dying and infernal love," the youngest girl said.
"Undying," the eldest girl corrected. "And eternal. — Martine Leavitt

My handling of the situation with Jake proved that I was the same girl from eight years ago. I'd just gained a stone and lost my love for Shayne Ward. — Lynsey James

Many a man inlove with a dimple makes the mistake of marring the whole Girl — Stephen Leacock

I know it looks like a straw mop but I don't look like the girl on that magazine do I? — Elle Klass

I pat her on the head. "Oh, naive little Kitten. Dear, foolish girl. This cookie is worth all this and more. Sit or you will not partake. — Jenny Han

She met a dashing man -
he was, a dash. — Timothy Joshua

A gypsy girl approached Don Zana and Alfanhui and held out her tambourine. Don Zana said to her, 'You don't pay for art, kid. — Rafael Sanchez Ferlosio

I totally bought you as a girl," says Marisol. "I'll double check with Frances later, but by the sounds of things, you seem to have no balls. — Dana Reinhardt

Hell, I can't hit a girl. Here, Claire. You hit her. — Rachel Caine

whyareyougivingawaythecookies?! — Stephanie Perkins

If [his] peace of mind depended on me promising to be a sweet and careful little girl, he'd be smart to get used to chaos. — Sharon Green

The thin girl was gulping down one of Richard's bananas in what was, Richard reflected, the least erotic display of banana-eating he had ever seen. — Neil Gaiman

Apparently loved did weird things to a girl's practical decision-making skills - Matilda — Devon Monk

It's fun telling you tall Texas tales. You always look like a little girl who's hearing Cinderella for the first time. — Edna Ferber

It's only through sheer force and luck that she's yet to take over the world. — Julia Quinn

I like subversive humor, freckles, women's knees and long hair, the laughter of playing children, and a girl running down the street. — Rene Magritte

The smaller girl hid her eyes with her hands, and Ewan smiled. Did she think that would make her invisible? — C.J. Milbrandt

I don't know what's happened to you. You used to be such a nice girl. Now you've gone all stabby and whatnot. — Devon Monk

I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint-a Saint Bernard! — Rodney Dangerfield

Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing but nobody else does. — Steuart Henderson Britt

Penny was a very pretty, witty and brave girl, as bold as a Marine platoon storming Iwo Jima. — John C. Wright

Morganith snorted and didn't lower her weapon. "One girl can cause alotta trouble, Hari. You and I are proofa that. — Ash Gray

I appreciate humor so much, but I'm actually not a funny girl. — Emmanuelle Chriqui

Molly was a helluva nice girl, but her fried eggs looked like broiled assholes. — Stephen King

Am I the moss on your bark, then?" Ani asked.
Enna grabbed her around the waist and shook her affectionately. "You're the mossiest girl I know. — Shannon Hale

Fine, I'll teach you,'
'Besides, there's only so many times a girl wants to fall on her butt in front of the boy she's out to impress. — Joss Stirling

It's hot out there." I prowl toward her, pulling off my shirt. I maybe flex my abs a little- anything for my girl. — Ainsley Booth

I like girls with a good sense of humor. — Tyler Posey

Panty Melter: an exceedingly rare species of man blessed with so many desirable attributes he effortlessly gains access into a girl's panties. — Tracy Brogan

What about mold," Tom reminded her. "Fuzziness on a girl is never attractive. — Lia Habel