Gilbert Gottfried Quotes
Collection of top 48 famous quotes about Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Gottfried Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Gilbert Gottfried quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue.
— Gilbert Gottfried
There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows.
— Gilbert Gottfried
The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Nothing can help my comedy.
— Gilbert Gottfried
What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If you're anything like me, I feel sorry for your friends and family.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands.
— Gilbert Gottfried
In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse.
— Gilbert Gottfried
No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.'
— Gilbert Gottfried
With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If they'd wanted a nice parrot, they wouldn't have asked for me.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive.
— Gilbert Gottfried
When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters.
— Gilbert Gottfried
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things.
— Gilbert Gottfried
Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now.'
— Gilbert Gottfried
Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things.
— Gilbert Gottfried
The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever.
— Gilbert Gottfried
If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better.
— Gilbert Gottfried
There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive!
— Gilbert Gottfried
Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them.
— Gilbert Gottfried
You never know what people will choose to be offended by.
— Gilbert Gottfried
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked.
— Gilbert Gottfried
R2D2 has gotten more work since "Star Wars" than Carrie Fisher
— Gilbert Gottfried
Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como.
— Gilbert Gottfried