Gilbert Gottfried Quotes: top 48 famous quotes about Gilbert Gottfried

Gilbert Gottfried Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Gilbert Gottfried quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I predict one of these two teams will win the Super Bowl. — Gilbert Gottfried

If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'm a very anti-vacation person. Because I'm always getting on planes for work, to me, a vacation is when I don't have to get on a plane. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'm known for my slightly inappropriate remarks. — Gilbert Gottfried

Reality TV has totally destroyed soap operas. They're gone. They used to be the biggest thing in the world - they're gone. — Gilbert Gottfried

Every time something pops in my head, I think twice about it and I do it anyway. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'm used to explaining to people why my jokes were funny. — Gilbert Gottfried

I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time. — Gilbert Gottfried

I personally think Miles Davis is a lot funnier than me. And he's working more. — Gilbert Gottfried

I always try to avoid anything that has to do with my life. — Gilbert Gottfried

If someone says that I'm the best at anything, I always just agree with them. I'm certainly not gonna argue. — Gilbert Gottfried

There definitely is exposure in reality shows, but the exposure will basically get you more reality shows. — Gilbert Gottfried

The joy of the roasts is to watch people get hurt and offended, and then have to laugh to pretend they're a good sport. — Gilbert Gottfried

Nothing can help my comedy. — Gilbert Gottfried

What do Japanese Jews love to eat? Hebrew National Tsunami. — Gilbert Gottfried

If you're anything like me, I feel sorry for your friends and family. — Gilbert Gottfried

I think a lot of people have too much time on their hands. — Gilbert Gottfried

In real life I'm a tall, blond Christian. — Gilbert Gottfried

I would show up at a party for Al Qaeda if you said there's going to be a dinner. — Gilbert Gottfried

Well, I'm eventually gonna take the Daryl Hannah parts. — Gilbert Gottfried

Unfortunately, I've never been mistaken as Johnny Depp. — Gilbert Gottfried

If you have the Old Testament at home, if you flip the corner pages, you can see Jesus riding a horse. — Gilbert Gottfried

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism. — Gilbert Gottfried

I think of Alan Thicke as Perry Como without the excitement. — Gilbert Gottfried

If I could cause world peace by taking someone out to lunch, I'd go, 'Well, war isn't that terrible.' — Gilbert Gottfried

With the Internet, if you erase something it just means you have to spend another half-minute to find it. — Gilbert Gottfried

If they'd wanted a nice parrot, they wouldn't have asked for me. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'd make Jack Benny look like a philanthropist. — Gilbert Gottfried

I understand being less sexy than Osama bin Laden, but not less sexy than Carrot Top. That, I find offensive. — Gilbert Gottfried

When you watch Robin Williams, you can see a lot of Jonathan Winters. Robin is the first one to admit that; he worshiped Jonathan Winters. — Gilbert Gottfried

People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'm one of those people that picks up the remote control and just keep hitting constantly, even if I like the show I'm watching. — Gilbert Gottfried

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. — Gilbert Gottfried

Well, I play Jews and parrots. Parrots are how I've branched out. — Gilbert Gottfried

I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept. — Gilbert Gottfried

I changed the face of comedy. I used to be funny. — Gilbert Gottfried

I just split up with my girlfriend, but like the Japanese say, 'They'll be another one floating by any minute now.' — Gilbert Gottfried

Any misfortune that happens to another person is funny. If it happens to someone else and not me, it's very funny. — Gilbert Gottfried

I'd like to have a kid, but I'd probably get a Frank Sinatra Jr. instead of a Gilbert Gottfried Jr. I'd totally screw up like that. — Gilbert Gottfried

I've done a lot of Fox shows since then - Married with Children, Living Single and a whole bunch of other Fox things. — Gilbert Gottfried

The pressure to being a comedian is being funny, but I've given that up, so there is no pressure whatsoever. — Gilbert Gottfried

If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. — Gilbert Gottfried

There are certain things I don't want to joke about. If it's about somebody else, it's fine. If it's about me, I think it's totally insensitive! — Gilbert Gottfried

Japan is really advanced. They don't go to the beach. The beach comes to them. — Gilbert Gottfried

You never know what people will choose to be offended by. — Gilbert Gottfried

I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. — Gilbert Gottfried

R2D2 has gotten more work since "Star Wars" than Carrie Fisher — Gilbert Gottfried

Off-camera, I sound like Perry Como. — Gilbert Gottfried