Funny Work Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny Work
Funny Work Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Work quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket?
— Woody Allen
I know I can't play funny roles in movies. I tried, and it didn't work.
— Sylvester Stallone
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
— Mitch Hedberg
Tara grinned. "Funny how things work out,
— Jennifer McMahon
When Eve ate the apple her knowledge increased. But God liked dumb women so Paradise ceased. Gwen Goodnight. Her Work.
— Jennifer Crusie
If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed.
— Jerome K. Jerome
If you want to work consistently, you have to be a team player.
— Russell Malone
My only relationship policy is, don't bring your dirty laundry to work, no sex on company furniture and don't let it affect your work.
— Paula Graves
If at first you don't succeed, then drag racing isn't for you.
— Christopher Titus
Why do people say they wish every day was Friday? If it was always Friday, we'd be here every freakin' day.
— Ed Bernard
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning ... That can keep me awake for days..
— Billy Connolly
IT'S funny. It doesn't work the other way round !
— Richard Madeley
You should never protest outside a rich guy's home during the day because he's not there. He's at work grinding the faces of the poor.
— Craig Ferguson
Most people like hard work, particularly when they're paying for it.
— Elbert Hubbard
George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work.
— Bill Cosby
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
— Steven Wright
So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.
— Nenia Campbell
I've been very lucky to work with people I think are funny and who are really awesome human beings.
— Jillian Bell
Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
— Kate Upton
Funny little thing. How could she know that even despair can work for you if you're lucky enough to outlive it. I'd
— Wislawa Szymborska
The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs ... one step at a time.
— Joe Girard
Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.
— Danielle Wood
Twitter, to me, works if you're funny. Twitter doesn't work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally.
— Albert Brooks
Looking scary with a baseball outfit on and a little bouffant, you know, it just does not work. Especially with sculpted eyebrows.
— Robert Pattinson
There's a fine line between marketing and grand theft.
— Scott Adams
Regarding creating a new work ... Sometimes you have to beat it like a red-headed step-child.
— John P. Sousa
I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it, because when they fired me, I had to show up to work anyway.
— Wallace Wang
Do you actually see the testosterone pour out of you when you work out, or is it more of a mist?
— Eli Easton
As soon as I got funny, I killed any majestic intentions in my work.
— William Wegman
Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy!
— Hannah Murray
Twitter's a lot of work! That's the first thing I would say. There's so much pressure to be funny.
— Ari Graynor
I think that i was a rat in rat wheel in my previous life ... can not forget the habit
— Hiroko Sakai
Of course it hurts, it's a spanking. How else would it work?
— Breanna Hayse
I snootily say I can't take too many dramatic parts, as it's taking work from actors who aren't funny.
— Robert Webb
He caught her staring and smiled-not a conceited I-work-out-and-have-a-great-body type smirk, but more of a I'm-a-boy; you're-a-girl; life is good.
— Cherise Sinclair
The human body is the best work of art.
— Jess C. Scott
My goal was to show that even if people work in a garage or a supermarket, they have very funny things to say. We never hear their voices.
— Michel Gondry
My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."
— Tim Vine
He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them.
— Josephine Myles
That man behaves so much like the villain in a work of literature, it's almost funny," Arsibalt observed.
— Neal Stephenson
I don't know how breeder marriages ever work, since the wife never seems to understand.
— Andrea Speed
A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.
— Alan Davies
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
— Lane Kirkland
There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence.
— Michelle Obama
Bak stood a moment, as though considering whether the sum total of their shared working life was ending in a minus or a plus.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
— Henny Youngman
Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.
— Thomas Bernhard
I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.
— Chris Eigeman
Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere.
— Lorna Jane Cook
I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work,
— Eugene Levy
The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays.
— Paul Heyman
He'd make her work so hard that a job as a cardboard-box presser at the margerine factory would seem like paradise.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
Everyone is messed up in their own way. The funny part is we all don't want anyone else to know, so we work so hard to hide it.
— Shana Norris
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
— Randy Glasbergen
Every Friday is black where I work.
— The Covert Comic
There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.
— Dick Van Dyke
It's funny how things work out sometimes.
— Anthony Horowitz
Leaving knots untied and scattering seeds to distract them will only work on vampires with OCD.
— Molly Harper
Blessed is the man who has found someone to do his work.
— Elbert Hubbard
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
If you're funny, you can find a stage to get on. If you're good, you'll start to get work and eventually get paid.
— Ted Alexandro
I do pauses, pauses work for me
— Dylan Moran
I had heard of offices feeling like prisons, but in this case our prison felt, rather anticlimactically, like an office.
— William Ritter
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
![Funny Work Quotes By Virginia Woolf: [Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-work-quotes-by-virginia-woolf-891567.jpg "Funny Work Quotes By Virginia Woolf: [Ulysses is] the work of a queasy undergraduate")
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work.
— Ellen DeGeneres
It's funny, because when you work on a set, everyone is watching you. You are being observed by everyone.
— Emily Blunt
I honestly thought my marriage would work because me and the wife did share a sense of humour. We had to really, because she didn't have one.
— Frank Skinner
