Funny Woody Allen Quotes: top 32 famous quotes about Funny Woody Allen

Funny Woody Allen Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Woody Allen quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? — Woody Allen

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door. — Woody Allen

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. — Woody Allen

I don't believe in an afterlife, but I'm taking an extra pair of underwear just in case. — Woody Allen

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points? — Woody Allen

I am an only child. I have one sister. — Woody Allen

As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions. — Woody Allen

Manute Bol is so skinny they save money on road trips. They just fax him from city to city. — Woody Allen

Your audience teaches you how to be funny. — Woody Allen

Beautiful, funny, smart, sexual, and also neurotic? It's like filling an inside straight. — Woody Allen

Figures tell us there are already more people on earth than we need to move even the heaviest piano. — Woody Allen

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty. — Woody Allen

I always thought it would be very funny if I was a blind film director. — Woody Allen

I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light. — Woody Allen

Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue. — Woody Allen

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. — Woody Allen

It's funny. Maria Elena and I, we are meant for each other and not meant for each other, it's a contradiction. — Woody Allen

Eternity is really long, especially near the end. — Woody Allen

Death is a funny thing. Not funny haha, like a Woody Allen movie, but funny strange, like a Woody Allen marriage. — Norm MacDonald

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. — Woody Allen

I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to ... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot. — Woody Allen

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. — Woody Allen

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third. — Woody Allen

I was a nervous child, I was a bedwetter. I used to sleep with an electric blanket and I was constantly electrocuting myself. — Woody Allen

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't. — Woody Allen

My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women. — Woody Allen

What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? — Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. — Woody Allen

What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen

Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad. — Woody Allen

I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's. — Woody Allen

Years of insanity have made this guy crazy! — Woody Allen