Funny Turn On Quotes: top 39 famous quotes about Funny Turn On

Funny Turn On Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Turn On quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Buy a condom, ribbed for her pleasure. Turn it inside out, now it's ribbed for your pleasure. — Katt Williams

If I tell you another seven hundred times, maybe one of these days you might turn your clothes right side out when you put them in the hamper, eh? — Jodi Picoult

It's a funny semantic turn - when someone paints a landscape, no one says they "borrowed" it, only that they painted it. — Joe Bradley

Hey, don't knock it. It still runs. Most of the time, even after I turn it off. Jo — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Why couldn't you turn into a fireball when we were on the same team! — Pittacus Lore

I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive. — Ian McEwan

There are two things you never turn down: sex and appearing on television. — Gore Vidal

It is my turn to wait. Funny that in all these months we have been meeting, it was always she waiting for me. — Melissa De La Cruz

Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny. — Rachel Dratch

In my opinion, all boyfriends should turn out to be secretly wealthy. — Claudia Gray

We must have taken a wrong turn turning somewhere."
"Where, Purgatory?" said Dozy. "We're in Hell. — John Connolly

He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them. — Josephine Myles

That was a mean thought, and not funny at all. I let it turn to sand and blow out of my head. — Christopher Buehlman

The funny thing is musicians often love to go to see visual art because you've got all these pictures to turn into metaphors. — Dar Williams

The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny. — Hugh Grant

What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you 'turn up missing'? — Kevin Hart

We had 1 book, the phone book, I've read it, it wasn't a great read, lots of characters, and on the end loads of polish people turn up. — Stephen K. Amos

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you. — Jim Butcher

When I turn back to Jase, he's again beaming at me. "You're nice." He sounds pleased, as if he hadn't expected this aspect of my personality. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

He's got the kind of body that could turn a nun into a whore. — Brooke Moss

It's hard for a man to turn down sex ... if they chase us, we can't run that fast. — Chris Rock

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. — Stephen King

I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can't get rid of. — Calvin Trillin

Goodness is funny because it draws you to it while curiously possessing you with the untrammelled desire to turn it into something bad. — Sophie Villalobos

Funny how when your life is mostly bullshit, you turn off feeling.
Sometimes it's hard to turn it back on again. — Ellen Hopkins

Want to enjoy an restful day? Wake up, turn your phone on, meditate, look at the sky - then toss your phone into the bushes. — Waylon H. Lewis

Funny how God offers you everything you've asked for, only to force you to turn it away. — Sunjeev Sahota

I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit . — Steven Wright

Children really brighten up a household. They never turn the lights off. — Ralph Wycherley

Mostly good is enough. Mostly good produces healthy kids who know they are valued and either forget the other parts or turn them into funny stories. — Jen Hatmaker

Never return to a doctor whose office plants have died. After five days in hospital, I took a turn for the nurse. — Spike Milligan

But there was nothing funny about his sword. Jason figured one hit from that thing would probably turn him into a Popsicle. Then — Rick Riordan

I don't know whose bright idea it was to turn the prom into a masquerade ball, but whoever it was, I'm going to kick them in the balls for it. — Melyssa Winchester

I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees ... — Mike Birbiglia

The man may be the head of the household. But the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head whichever way she pleases. — Nia Vardalos

I've had countless reviews sort that have made me cry. It's funny, it doesn't ever get better either; you can't turn your ears off. — Eleanor Catton

The Equal Rights Amendment would "turn holy wedlock into holy deadlock." — William Rehnquist

There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. — Douglas Coupland

After two days in the hospital, I turn to the nurse. — W.C. Fields