Funny True Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny True
Funny True Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny True quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I am not fake, I am just to good to be true
— Mahsati Abdul
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.
MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?
ME: MATH. — KanyaACoffman
The best time to make friends isbefore you need them. — Ethel Barrymore
I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both.
— Michael W. Grimard
I know the path by heart, by heart- a funny expression, so true. My heart knows right where to go.
— Cynthia Hand
You can't kill us all, human.' He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line? — Laurell K. Hamilton
You, lass, have a self-image problem.Well, that might be a little true, but she also had a mirror. — Cherise Sinclair
It was a running joke; everyone was aware of how ridiculous the rumor mill was, and yet they all shamelessly participated in it.
— Jamie McGuire
It's funny. That feeling of home. It's so temporary, like bathwater: the warmth eventually grows cold.
— K.M. Alexander
Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world
— Jeevagan Nagarajan
I was the girl with cake batter in her hair, egg on her shirt and her foot in her mouth. Always.
— Kari Luna
On some level in acting, what you're trying to find is truth, because when it's true is when it's also funny.
— David Hyde Pierce
Sim sighed. like Ross always said: Wish in one hand,shit in the other,and see which hand fills up first.
— Keith Gray
I am not fake, I am just too good to be true (-:
— Mahsati Abdul
![Funny True Quotes By Vladimir Nabokov: [ ... ] and I switched to English](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-true-quotes-by-vladimir-nabokov-947491.jpg "Funny True Quotes By Vladimir Nabokov: [ ... ] and I switched to English")
[ ... ] and I switched to English literature, where so many frustrated poets end as pipe-smoking teachers in tweeds.
— Vladimir Nabokov
I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true.
— Mark Indelicato
I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
— Eoin Colfer
Falling in love and falling to your death feel about the same, I thought. And I almost laughed.
— Shannon Hale
I don't know. I don't really like old movies. The acting is so, 'Hey buddy, ol' pal. Let's go wear our hats and have a big misunderstanding
— Stephanie Perkins
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
— Carroll Bryant
Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all.
— Mark Lawrence
Like all great adventures, this one started with someone trying to get laid. King Menelaus didn't go to Troy for the baklava.
— Mark Leiren-Young
One person may look and only see a tree, whereas others may look and see a tree with leaves.
— Adrian Sandvaer
Nicole can do anything that involves a ball and whistle.
— Laurie Halse Anderson
I love to make movies about young people - young scientists that are inventing things and all the writing they did was very funny and very true.
— Vilmos Zsigmond
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
What is about Army uniforms? Especially combats. They are just drool-worthy, if you ask me.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
Love has a way of making the sane insane and the insane normal.
— Shannon L. Alder
Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you're trying to show respect.
— Criss Jami
People never think things that are true are funny.
— Melissa Kantor
Internet access came before pride.
— Jessica Park
I occasionally laugh and tell him that his imperturbability is worth three hundred milligrams of lithium a day to me, and it is probably true.
— Kay Redfield Jamison
Life is too short to dance with ugly men
— Christina Dodd
An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway.
— Solange Nicole
Jane's novels are so true to life that even two centuries later they are fresh and funny and, yes, relevant as ever.
— Margaret Sullivan
Dogs are angels full of poop.
— Oliver Gaspirtz
Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits.
— Yahtzee Croshaw
Remember that true beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and lipstick tubes
— Jeffree Star
Relaxed Empiricism I only believe something to be true if someone I know quite well tells me if happened. — Bill Bailey
To tell you the truth. I am a wild and passionate novelist. I am therefore easily given over to telling wild and passionate lies.
— Val Edward Simone
I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
— Edmund Hillary
Isn't it funny how true peace describes war and chaos?
— Lionel Suggs
There is nothing so unsure as the plans we make that rely on the sensible behavior of another human being.
— Steven Saylor
Funny thing about true happiness, though. You never know it's inside you until someone pulls it out.
— Meghan Quinn
I realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl ... because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol
— Fee Scott
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
— Golda Meir
What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
— Parker S. Huntington
Military Wives - Sacrificing Months of Sex for the Country.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
You must be careful when you ask people whether they're happy; it's a question that can upset them a great deal.
— Francois Lelord
Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.
— William Goldman
I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me.
— Shannon L. Alder
Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others
— Yana Toboso
Mr. Speaker. I said the honorable member was a liar it is true and I am sorry for it. The honorable member may place the punctuation where he pleases.
— Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Funny how people despise platitudes, when they are usually the truest thing going. A thing has to be pretty true before it gets to be a platitude ...
— Katharine Fullerton Gerould
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
Being unique is what's cool man. Being normal? What's that? That's a setting on a washing machine. Nobody wants to be that.
— Ashley Purdy
But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they're not so funny anymore.
— Jonathan Dunne
It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on.
— Marilyn Monroe
When you're in a train and it breaks down, well, there you is. But when you're in a plane and it breaks down, there you AIN'T.
— Amy Hill Hearth
You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was made from his funny bone.
— James M. Barrie
The movies are funny, in one way, because you think of everyone being as beautiful as the dawn, but that isn't true.
— Julian Fellowes
Nothing," she said, "upsets me more than being hungry; I snarl and snap and burst into tears.
— Shirley Jackson
Keep calm and be yourself
— Jasmine Lozano
I'm sure I look a wreck. But he's the one who wrecked me so he may as well take a good long look at what he's done.
— Monica Murphy
If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.
— Terry Pratchett
The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.
— Criss Jami
It's fun to be able to have a fun palate, and the way I say that, you think about it and it sounds funny, but it's true.
— Joey Fatone
His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait that; in a spaniel. Or a whore.
— Michael Dobbs
I hate witches. Humans had the right idea, burning them at the stake.
— Charlaine Harris
