Funny Remember Quotes: top 81 famous quotes about Funny Remember

Funny Remember Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Remember quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Internet's been down most of the day [at work]. Doing research by just asking everyone what we remember to be true. What could possibly go wrong? — Rachel Maddow

Remember, I'm the only person her who's paid to be nice to you. But not too nice. Give me any lip and I'll break your face. OK? — Orson Scott Card

You know how old I am? I'm so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That's how old I am. — Rush Limbaugh

I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50. — Dane Cook

Remember, in China when you are one in a million, there are 1,300 other people just like you. — Thomas Friedman

Nona had been bonkers since I could remember. Dad said it was menopause, but I had looked that up once, and I highly doubted that was the case. — Holly Hood

I remember one guy saying, "You're the only human out of all of them," and feeling a little concerned that somehow that meant I wasn't as funny. — Allison Silverman

I remember it was a damn funny thing for a stranger to say," Stephen said. "Old Ones, we Old Ones. With capital letters
you could *hear* them. — Susan Cooper

I remember getting a Phoenix Suns T-shirt. I had that Phoenix Suns T-shirt forever. It's the funny things you remember as a kid, but it was a blast. — Jonathan Lipnicki

Do ya remember the first time you had sex? I do, and boy, was I scared! I was alone! — Rodney Dangerfield

Remember: There's a reason the fairy godmother gave Cinderella two glass slippers. — Michael Callahan

Funny, how it took a little bit of pain to remember that certain parts of yourself were alive. — Adi Alsaid

- and you'll remember, when they ask you your religion, that you're a Cath'lic. Better say Roman Cath'lic, tho' I'm not fond of the word. — Rudyard Kipling

The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, Spring back or Fall in. — Dave Beard

I saw 28 Days. I don't remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It's a big landfill. — Charlie Sheen

I think that should be the anti - speeding advert it should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day. — Frankie Boyle

There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly. — Lola J. May

After Michael Jordan had scored a play-off record 69 points - I'll always remember this as the night Michael and I combined to score 70 points. — Stacey King

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

Remember: blonde, brunette, and redhead are not personality types. — Howard Mittelmark

I always remember loving 'Even Stevens' - that show was so brilliant and funny and smart. — Luke Benward

I don't like you two going off on you won. Just remember: behave. If I hear about any funny business, I will ground you until the Styx freezes over. — Rick Riordan

The important thing for any writer to remember is to take the writing seriously, but not the writer. — A.E. Poynor

I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. — Taylor Swift

I have a memory like an elephant. I remember every elephant I've ever met. — Herb Caen

It's funny, now there are so many bands that I can never remember any of their names. Maybe it's because I'm old. — Judd Apatow

Just remember that a pat on the back is only 18 inches from a kick in the behind. — Rex W. Tillerson

So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, it's P something T something R. — Tim Vine

Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols

If you don't do anything stupid when you're young, you won't remember something funny when you're old. — Auliq Ice

I can remember when safe sex meant a padded headboard. — Bob Monkhouse

I wasn't funny as a kid. I remember enjoying comedians, but I never understood it was a job choice or a profession. — Elayne Boosler

Remember that there's no one way of doing things ... If you just get a hammer and hit it really hard, whatever it is, I guarantee you it'll open. — Fred Armisen

Remember men, you are fighting for the ladies honor, which is probably more than she ever did. — Groucho Marx

Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won! — Chris Rock

Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better. — Bauvard

I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to. — Shaquille O'Neal

If you turn into a hideous monster and I am sent to slay you, I will remember this and make it as painless as I can, out of respect for you. — Jim Butcher

Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. — Wendell Johnson

Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing. — Andy Borowitz

I remember love. It's what I have to keep on reminding myself. It's funny how you can forget everything except people loving you. — Melina Marchetta

Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow. — Tobias Wolff

Jet, I can almost remember their funny faces — Paul McCartney

Funny songs, that's my ticket. I can't remember when it started or why it started, it's just something that I NEEDED. — Jack Black

Don't remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed. — Celia Johnson

Winning is everything. The only ones who remember you when you come second are your wife and your dog. — Damon Hill

When life gets you down, just remember these three words of wisdom. "Bonk!", "Zap!", and "Yowsers!" — Tyler Webb

Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replay in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened. — Rita Rudner

I suppose the things you remember about someone who has died are the funny moments. Those are the ones that stand out. — Harry Lloyd

I have this condition I call impromptu senility. I can't remember a damn thing when I don't want to. — Laurann Dohner

To be unpopular, you must look the part. Remember four words: plastic flowered swim cap. — Jennifer Ziegler

I own your balls, huh !" She grinned, laughing." I'll have to remember that the nest time you give me any shit. " (El Diablo) — M. Robinson

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals. — Robert Orben

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't? — Paul Merton

I'm too busy thinking what I'm going to say next to remember what I've said, but my staff tells me I'm sometimes funny. Not always on purpose, though. — Jared Polis

And remember, it's also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy. — Fran Drescher

I hope people of the future will remember my books for being burned, and I challenge an elite few to imagine the embers of the last copy. — Bauvard

I start laughing. You have to laugh. Life is just funny sometimes. As long as you remember. — E.R. Frank

What is it? Tens, I can see the stick up your arse from here. I'm dying remember? Dying people don't have time for silly moods — Amber Kizer

I don't exaggerate - I just remember big. — Chi Chi Rodriguez

Last year we drove across the country ... We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip ... I don't remember what it was ... — Steven Wright

When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look. — Mark W. Boyer

As I remember it, the bases were loaded. — Garry Maddox

Remember that true beauty comes from within - from within bottles, jars, compacts, and lipstick tubes — Jeffree Star

Do you remember that kid that had sex with his high school teacher? I was reading online that he died today. He died from hi-fiveing. — Zach Galifianakis

Playing in this nice weather really makes me remember all the times I got stung by a bee. — John Madden

Carpe Diem, just remember that we're partying on the Titanic. — Will McIntosh

Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really. — Dave Barry

It's difficult to remember when you haven't played it before. — Eugene Ormandy

I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be. — Seth Rogen

Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it. — Dave Chappelle

You never think of films being really creepy that you're in because you just remember the funny stuff. — Pell James

Do you remember what I forgot? — Erica Goros

He was listening so I don't remember. — Eugene Ormandy

Remember. Make him cry uncle.
Cry uncle, my posterior. I'm going to make him cry like a girl who broke her mom's designer heels at the prom. — Sherrilyn Kenyon

What early tongue so sweet saluteth me? — William Shakespeare

What was the good of being a movie werewolf? You howled at the moon; you couldn't remember what you did, and then somebody shot you. — Anne Rice

It's funny to see the finished product of a movie, stuff that's so beautiful, and to remember the particulars. — Amy Ryan

Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off- Cruz — Derrolyn Anderson

It's funny, I remember doing the Johnny Carson show, and, uh, I couldn't afford my rent. — Natalie Merchant

Do you remember when we played in Spain in the Anglo-Italian Cup? — Shaun Newton