Funny Quotes An Quotes: top 62 famous quotes about Funny Quotes An

Funny Quotes An Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Quotes An quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

One does not simply ring Roland.
Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews

Who says you only get one? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three ... and so on.
Nesta — Cathy Hopkins

Just because a guy rings your bell, doesn't mean you have to toot his horn. — C.C. Hunter

Love is relentless, and so am I ;) — Keisha Keenleyside

Sometimes advises from others are more difficult to bear with than even slang. — Amit Kalantri

Cale! Have you had a female in here?"

Calic laughed carelessly. "Depends on when you're referring to. — Kiersten Fay

Writing is all about tents: sometimes you're competent, sometimes you're eloquetent. — Kevin Focke

The medium is the message, the message is encrypted, and the encryption key is controlled by NSA. — The Covert Comic

More you know, better advice you give. Less you know, more advice you give. — Gerry Geek

I will always choose to be an imbecile. I couldn't cut it as an old fashion, and dry gal. — Mary Sage Nguyen

Flirting with random women in a tavern? That sounds like Helios. Well, it sounds like most of the gods, actually. — Rick Riordan

When they figure out how to bottle up orgasms and sell them as a food additive, I'll be first in line. — Nenia Campbell

There really isn't much use in getting into a pissing contest since I have to sit down to pee anyway. — Tammy Blackwell

My love is meatloaf flavored. I just wish my meatloaf was also meatloaf flavored. — Dora J. Arod

Thanks to photography, some memories overstay their welcome. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If you spelled George Morgan wrong on Google it didn't say, "Did you mean George Morgan?" It simply replied, "Run while you still have the chance. — Tara Sivec

Ish #303 It's a street food vendor! Stop asking for the health score rating. — Regina Griffin

Displacement of 'What goes around, comes around' is Zero. — Gaurav Rao

If you want breakfast in bed, you have to concider sleeping in the kitchen> — Foster "Raul" Mkhabele

I am Butler. Anything I say sounds scary. — Eoin Colfer

Course you can't fucking see, buddy, it's darker than a nun's virgin anus down here. — Charlie Huston

I realized I'd only seen him at night in dim, flattering restaurant lighting. The sun was not his friend. — Augusten Burroughs

I mean emotionally, women are like Bruce Lee and we're like Donald Duck. An' I think a lotta guys are afraid of that. — Jonathan Ashworth

Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare. — Santosh Kalwar

An ignorant man who is regarded as knowledgeable by people who are more ignorant than him is still ignorant. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

If I had to pick another career, I'd be an optometrist for potatoes. That's where the money is. — Peter Wisan

You belong in an insane asylum, you know that?"
"Maybe my next case... — R.R. Virdi

Of course, Jules was not a wolf. She was an elephant. But Jules was a very young toy and she had never been to school to learn the difference. — Julie B. Campbell

An "EX" is called an "ex" because it's an EXample of what you shouldn't have again in the future. — Unknown

My mother, my psychiatrist and an assortment of sedatives eventually convinced me I was delusional. — Wayne Gerard Trotman

By studying human history, we can realize how much of human stupidity has fallen on fertile ground. Is gravity guilty for such an occurrence too? — Eraldo Banovac

Having a kid is like an industrial revolution of the emotions. Suddenly you can mass produce worry, and guilt. — S.K. Tremayne

Real comedy is not when you laugh at an idiot, it's when the idiot laughs at you. — Raheel Farooq

Have you ever chopped down something with an ax? Not fun. I now have serious doubts regarding George Washington and his cherry tree. — Tammy Blackwell

Whenever I'm running an hour late for for work, it always makes me feel better when I can leave an hour early at the end of the day to make up for it. — Mark W. Boyer

Only criminals and madmen walk into Central Park after midnight...or, occasionally, an actor. (Dark City Lights) — Jane Dentinger

Keep trying?
I'd rather keep walking. I mean, whisky is whisky — Ljupka Cvetanova

Moving on was going to require leaving the woods and getting a friend set that didn't have gray hairs, hip replacements and a few false teeth. — Rebecca Brooks

Groupies will give you Chlamydia, Edward."
"Right, Virg. Groupies throw underwear on stage. They don't throw flowers. — Andrew Barger

Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans. — Raheel Farooq

I enlarge the photo again. Nope, too blurry — Marie Lu

Otis! Will you PLEASE stop killing me! — Rick Riordan

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown. — Ljupka Cvetanova

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. — William Goldman

Eagles, buffalos and deserts vast,
it's no good living in the fucking past. — Mark Jackman

We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don't. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don't! — Tamsyn Bester

Every Friday is black where I work. — The Covert Comic

Archbishop: "God is with us!"
William the Great : "Bishop, if God is with us, then he is not with them, congratulations!
We are victorious! — Arash Pakravesh

You just wanted to walk in front of me so I'd have to stare at your butt — Laurell K. Hamilton

Ish #1 It's not your mama's macaroni and cheese if you used spaghetti noodles. — Regina Griffin

When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look. — Mark W. Boyer

What the heck kind of name was Sir? — Cherise Sinclair

I love your hairless chest." She nuzzled his pecs. "So smooth and sculpted. Like a marble manslut statue. — Nicole Archer

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

This funny thing we call love, how simple it may seem. To say it is sometimes enough but to feel it is a dream. — Raneem Kayyali

Yoga pants often answer questions I didn't ask. — Tim Heaton

Secret 7591.42.21. Avoiding weasel words in your intelligence analysis isn't easy when your intelligence analysis is about weasels. — The Covert Comic

Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less! — E.A. Bucchianeri

Memory is like a box of chocolates. They disappear quickly. — Leah Broadby

Punctuation was, it is sad to say, invented a very long time ago. Even more frustrating, it has remained with us ever since. — Anne Elizabeth Moore