Funny Off To Work Quotes
Collection of top 30 famous quotes about Funny Off To Work
Funny Off To Work Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Off To Work quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work, but now I have to tell it for a year.
— Mitch Hedberg
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning ... That can keep me awake for days..
— Billy Connolly
I used to work at a health food store. I got fired for drinking straight Bosco on the job.
— Steven Wright
Pickup lines never work ... I think someone clever, witty and funny is very attractive.
— Kate Upton
There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence.
— Michelle Obama
Bak stood a moment, as though considering whether the sum total of their shared working life was ending in a minus or a plus.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
If hard work were such a wonderful thing, surely the rich would have kept it all to themselves.
— Lane Kirkland
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
— Henny Youngman
Instead of committing suicide, people go to work.
— Thomas Bernhard
I have a pacemaker in, but it doesn't work very well, because every time I fart the garage door opens.
— Frank Carson
(If plan KTB kill the bastard) didn't work, well, gray would resort to Plan B: Operation Oh Sh**
— Gena Showalter
I really love showing up at work at 10 A.M., trying to make it funny until 3 P.M., and then going home. It's like comedy bankers' hours.
— Chris Eigeman
Blankets make great traps for the clinically insane, but a straightjacket might work better.
— Nicole McKay
Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere.
— Lorna Jane Cook
I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work,
— Eugene Levy
A foolproof plan for not getting a job - show up for your interview wearing flip flops.
— Alan Davies
The only reason why you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn't want to work Tuesdays.
— Paul Heyman
He'd make her work so hard that a job as a cardboard-box presser at the margerine factory would seem like paradise.
— Jussi Adler-Olsen
Everyone is messed up in their own way. The funny part is we all don't want anyone else to know, so we work so hard to hide it.
— Shana Norris
Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held.
— Randy Glasbergen
Every Friday is black where I work.
— The Covert Comic
There's a lot of very funny people I'd love to work with that I've never met, of course. I love Steve Martin and Jim Carrey.
— Dick Van Dyke
It's funny how things work out sometimes.
— Anthony Horowitz