Funny No Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Funny No
Funny No Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny No quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Like Cammie is fine," Macey said, then glanced at me. "No offense.""None taken," I said. "I think. — Ally Carter
You Sure this is it?" I said. "It looks empty.""Empty? No way, there's loads of shit in there," worm replied — Ransom Riggs
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.
— Doug Stanhope
He left the key in the ignition. No one was likely to come up here and steal the truck- and if anyone did ... well, he could deal with Charles
— Patricia Briggs
No comedian's wife thinks he's funny. The first few years of the marriage, maybe. I was funny as hell the first couple of years.
— Tom Smothers
Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice, voluntarily.
— Rita Rudner
Will you go out with me for a cup of coffee?" "No." "No?" "I prefer tea, thank you.
— Padma Venkatraman
There was no doubt in my mind that Daemon believed revenge was a dish best served in my face.
— Jennifer L. Armentrout
My gramps is a lot like you. No sense of adventure. All he does is sit in his urn...
— Cleo Peitsche
When I was born I brought no joy, my father said he wanted a boy!
— Rodney Dangerfield
I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms.
— Rodney Dangerfield
And there's no damage to the car. Except to the car itself.
— Murray Walker
Um, I'm just naturally super-funny. No, not really. I've never been in The Groundlings or anything.
— Ryan Hansen
It's better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
— P. J. O'Rourke
The sky is falling. No, I'm tipping over backwards.
— Steven Wright
I want to do drama - no one really sees that. People just think I'm the funny guy and I can't do anything else, and that's just not true.
— Mark Indelicato
No means yes in grasshopper language.
— Noel Fielding
Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.
— Cynthia Heimel
The house had a name. The Banana House. It was carved onto a piece of sandstone above the front door. It made no sense to anyone.
— Hilary McKay
When asked in his late 90s if his doctor knew he still smoked, Burns said, 'No ... he's dead.'
— George Burns
Racism is not funny, because it won't solve anything, but making it worst instead, because racism is the reason the world is no longer great.
— Werley Nortreus
CONFESSION NO. 18 Girls just want to have fun ... and live to tell about it the next day.
— Ronda Thompson
I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life.
— Kathryn Prescott
If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the beginning of the day.
— H. L. Hunt
I rented a car. I didn't really need one, I just wanted to make one less available. I wanted one businessman on the bus with no car.
— Mitch Hedberg
You aren't a morning person, are you?" he mused."No, I'm not. There is a reason mornin' and mournin' sound the same. — L.A. Casey
I'm going to need to save you.""Excuse me? No one needs-"
"I'm saving you, so shut up and be grateful. — Kelley Armstrong
Leo," Hazel gasped, "I can't - my arms - ""Hazel," he said. "Do you trust me?"
"No!"
"Me neither," Leo admitted. — Rick Riordan
Children when they ask you why your mama so funny say she is a poet she don't have no sense
— Lucille Clifton
Tempted to type meaningless twaddle all the time on Twitter ... with alliteration, no less!
— E.A. Bucchianeri
Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny.
— Julie Walters
No way!" I yelled, taking it from him."I can't believe I made a pink knife."
"It's so cute! I love it. Finally, a companion worthy of Tasey. — Kiersten White
We have to play it longer because there are no numbers or letters.
— Eugene Ormandy
The cybernetic operation?""No, the sex change."
The doctor's smile faltered.
"I'm joking. — Marissa Meyer
It's a Christmas miracle. I had no tree. Now I have a forest.
— Richelle Mead
I no longer believe that just about everything is funny, if viewed from the proper angle.
— Tom Perrotta
I once asked a policeman how far it was to the subway. he said, "I don't know, no one has ever made it".
— Rodney Dangerfield
A travel agent told I could spend 7 nights in HAWAII no days just nights.
— Rodney Dangerfield
No really, I'm a werewolf and you're a human, which essentially translates into a steak with legs.
— Quinn Loftis
In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop.
— Rodney Dangerfield
Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies.
— Nigella Lawson
Offering Dragons quarter is no good, they regrow all their parts and come on again. They have to be killed.
— John Berryman
I feel no grief for being called somethingwhich
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski
I may not beleive in God, but I believe in guilt and no one wants to dick around with eternity, even if it isn't there.
— Jonathan Tropper
When I tell people I'm a comedian they say, 'Oh, are you funny?' I say, 'No, it's not that kind of comedy.'
— Susan Sarandon
You know, funny is this weird word for me. I hear is so many times it has no meaning anymore.
— Bruce McCulloch
No, I don't want you to leave. I'm just grabbing your coat and nudging your toward the door for fun #AHOLE
— A.O. Storm
No such word as can't. No such word as babagoozle neither!
— Charlie Higson
No matter how strong you are, you cannot hold open the jaws of a great-white shark with your bare hands ... that can do your brain.
— Ivan Stoikov
I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me.
— Shannon L. Alder
Why it's simply impassible!Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible?
Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! — Lewis Carroll
There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.
— Lewis Black
There's no time to waste," Kai said. He did a backflip off the tower and ran off."What is it with that guy?" Jay asked. "Always in a rush! — Greg Farshtey
Be careful, though.""Aren't I always?"
"No, I think the word for how you usually are is 'reckless. — Veronica Roth
There's no such thing as too much power!
— Wolfgang Gullich
Most man can think no better than a child! This fact perfectly explains why there are so many funny beliefs!
— Mehmet Murat Ildan
I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.
— Mitch Hedberg
Can I come in?No! I'm in a towel!
I'm blind! — James Patterson
Is that a space?No, it's a hydrant. — Becky Albertalli
Mrs. Darling's kiss with him. The kiss that had been for no one else Peter took quite easily. Funny.
— J.M. Barrie
There is no point in housing troubles inside your underwear if you can't solve them by yourself.
— Pawan Mishra
Denying your faith in the Lord was the ultimate no-no
— Jennifer Mathieu
There is no spoon.
— Jim Butcher
Hermits have no peer pressure.
— Steven Wright
I went to the store and bought eight apples; the clerk said, "Do you want these in a bag?" I said, "Oh, no, man, I juggle."
— Mitch Hedberg
I can do this, I lied to myself feebly. No one was going to bite me.
— Stephenie Meyer
Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.'No, stupid,' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy. — Rick Riordan
No One Diets on Thanksgiving.
— Erma Bombeck
There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?
— Eddie Izzard
Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves.
— Jimmy Fallon
People are funny. They look down from all sorts of heights and then if the looking down has no effect they get unsure.
— John McGahern
Does Playboy still run fiction?""I have absolutely no idea, Melinda," he said, grinning. — Robyn Carr
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
— Daniel Tosh