Funny Like If Quotes
Collection of top 70 famous quotes about Funny Like If
Funny Like If Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Like If quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving.
— Steven Wright
Oh, torture. Is this purgatory, and if it is, why is it so much like the first grade?
— Margaret Atwood
Working for Mab now, are you, Wolfman?" he smirked. "Like a good little attack dog? Will you also roll over and beg if she asks?
— Julie Kagawa
Women are like shower faucets, you must treat them carefully, because if you do not, it will either burn your balls or freeze your ass.
— M.F. Moonzajer
That didn't sound like them slinging beads at us. Think if I whip my shirt off, they'll go blind and leave? Nick
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
Every morning I read the obituaries. If it ain't there I make myself a cup of tea and carry on like I have the past century or so.
— Lois Greiman
If my name was on a serious work like this it would never get fair treatment. They would all say I had tried to be funny and failed.
— Jerome K. Jerome
I feel my brains, like a pear, to see if it's ripe; it will be exquisite by September.
— Virginia Woolf
Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world?
— Christy Leigh Stewart
Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister.
— The Undertaker
As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.
— Scott Adams
If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.
— David Cook
I do like to believe there is no stupid and or funny question because in fact if we don't ask than we don't learn.
— Kai Greene
My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully.
— Abraham Lincoln
Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter how long it's been since you last heard one.
— Maggie Stiefvater
'Chappie' would be like 'RoboCop,' but hilarious. If you mixed 'Robocop' with 'E.T.' and it was ... funny, that's what it is.
— Neill Blomkamp
If I like it, I say it's mine. If I don't I say it's a fake.
— Pablo Picasso
If you two had babies would they be like uber-von Strassenbergs? Would they be like eight feet tall?
— Gwenn Wright
If I'm in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to.
— Ron Livingston
It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.
— Julia L. Roberts
If you play comedic scenes like they're really serious, then it's so much more funny than if you're going for a laugh.
— Patton Oswalt
I always like to watch comics and it's interesting that you can tell if someone's funny in 10 seconds.
— Christopher Walken
"Well," said my aunt, "this is his boy - his son. He would be as like his father as it's possible to be, if he was not so like his mother, too."
— Charles Dickens
I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma.""You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma. — Kami Garcia
If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out.
— George Brett
I wondered if I could make him laugh like that, if he was the kind of guy who believes that girls could also be funny.
— Leila Howland
Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack.
— Gayle Forman
Neither of them had kissed someone else in a while, but it didn't much matter. Kissing's a lot like laughing. If the joke's funny, it doesn't matter
— Maggie Stiefvater
Let me be clear: I don't want to make love to a mannequin - I want to make love like a mannequin. Oh, if only I were that animated in bed.
— Dark Jar Tin Zoo
But if love can be funny and capricious, it can also be strong enough to seem like a sign of insanity.
— Chelsey Philpot
You know, If you weren't tiny, cute and remarkably innocent looking I'd be running away right now. This feels like the set-up to some torture porn.
— Stephanie Perkins
I would like it if four people did a cartwheel all at once ... so I can make a cart.
— Mitch Hedberg
She wondered what he looked like with his hat off and wondered again if he knew he was funny.
— Elmore Leonard
Time was funny like that. If you didn't keep track of it, make the most of every moment, it could run away from you.
— Donna Augustine
It's funny. From up here, the destruction seems to fade. Almost as if like people, in time, even the world can heal itself.
— Eloise Dyson
I hate when I break my own rules. What's the point of me being rational if I flail around like a clown?
— Jesse Ball
It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections.
— Audrey Niffenegger
LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt
— Darynda Jones
Girls are like Pokemon, it doesn't matter how good you are, you can't catch any if you don't have any balls.
— Auliq Ice
If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything.
— Arnold Schwarzenegger
I didn't actually know what regret tasted like - but I imagined if it did have a flavor, it would be lutefisk.
— Angela N. Blount
Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man".
— Russell Beland
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap.
— Lewis Black
I like cats. They don't care if you love Jesus.
— Miss Merikan
Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder.
— Simone Elkeles
I hate seeing people that look like you. Especially if God's living by the motto 'If at first you don't succeed.'
— Demetri Martin
Adam Carolla is like Hitler if Hitler wasn't funny.
— Andy Kindler
What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.
— Karl Pilkington
He wondered if her spy had stumbled upon his last night. When did he start thinking like his mother?
— Johanna Lindsey
