Funny Like Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Like

Funny Like Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Like quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Like Cammie is fine," Macey said, then glanced at me. "No offense."
"None taken," I said. "I think. — Ally Carter

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. — John Mortimer

I can't imagine actually singing on this show like I did on 'Felicity', but it would be kind of funny. — Amy Jo Johnson

I like to smoke a pipe, because it's the punch line indicator. Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you should be laughing. — Mitch Hedberg

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard? — Bill Burr

Love is like Pi: natural, irrational, and very important. — Lisa Hoffman

She rolled over and sat up as he bent, tearing off his boots. "Whatcha doing?"
"Getting naked."
"I like that. — Laurann Dohner

To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct. — John Waters

Funny how time heals. Like that bullet in my ribs. It's there, I know it's there, but I can barely feel it at all anymore. — Lauren Oliver

It sounds like you aren't used to having something so powerful between your legs," Abbey said. "Maybe you should let me drive. — Shawn Keenan

My gramps is a lot like you. No sense of adventure. All he does is sit in his urn... — Cleo Peitsche

I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor - I'm talking about a guy who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt ... — Dave Barry

I think being funny had something to do with feeling like an outsider, not feeling cool - insecurity. — Kumail Nanjiani

Why don't you say "What?" if you like to sleep with your own sister. — The Undertaker

I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it's a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff. — Todd Phillips

You Cannot Live as I Have Lived and Not End Up Like This: The Thoroughly Disgraceful Life & Times of Willie Donaldson. — Jay Nordlinger

I wish men had boobs because I like the feel of them. It's so funny - when I record I sing with a hand over each of them, maybe it's a comfort thing. — Emma Bunton

We're like the couple on the sitcom that has good sparks but never get together for the sake of ratings. — Aimee Bender

My Dear McClellan, if you don't want to use the army I should like to borrow it for a while. Yours respectfully. — Abraham Lincoln

Fame is a funny thing, like a secret, both are hard to keep. — Richard Peck

You know, albums are a funny thing. They're not like an intellectual decision. It's a collection of your kind of musings. — Glen Hansard

His eyes are a hazy swirl of
gray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm — Elle Kennedy

Travis: The Aphrodite kids were ripping each other's clothes and throwing lipstick and jewellery. It was like a rabid herd of wild Bratz. — Rick Riordan

Flirting with random women in a tavern? That sounds like Helios. Well, it sounds like most of the gods, actually. — Rick Riordan

Is she crazy, like it says on her bracelet, or is she just looking at my sheets? I dunno! — Dave Attell

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. — Libba Bray

The snozberries taste like snozberries! — Roald Dahl

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held. — Randy Glasbergen

You catch more flies with honey, ever heard of that?" He shrugged. "I don't like flies. They're annoying." He grinned "I'd rather catch hell. — Heather Hildenbrand

Um ... Mercer? Haven't seen you in nearly a month. I was expecting something like, 'Oh Cross, love of my heart, fire of my loins, how I've longed
— Rachel Hawkins

A blanket is great for covering things, like the dead guy, I just killed with this brick. — Nicole McKay

Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's. — Jonathan Tropper

Just when I think I have nothing to say, the characters start to speak. Writing is funny like that. — J.D. Barker

Thank you leaf blowers, for making me look like the world's lamest Ghostbuster. I ain't afraid of no leaves. — Jimmy Fallon

The word 'funny' is a bit like the word 'love' - we don't have enough words to describe the many varieties. — George Saunders

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge. — Steven Wright

You," he purred, "are a HILF."
"A what?"
"A Horseman I'd like to fuck. — Larissa Ione

What's a wingding? Why, a wingding is, uh ... it's just like a shindig but without all the hullabaloo. — Cuthbert Soup

A sportswriter once referred to him as our future president. With a name like Kevin, I don't know whether that's possible. — Barack Obama

I have the street smarts and survival skills of, like, a poodle. — Jennifer Lawrence

I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski

That's the exciting part about capitalism. It's like surfing, you have to catch the wave. - Martin Peter (aka Vermin Gobsmack) — Jamie Delano

Lovely, not only did the truck look like it was on its last leg, it was going to take the environment with it. — Adrienne Wilder

I like funny things, but I don't find myself particularly funny. — Chris Messina

Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! — J.K. Rowling

Sukhvinder wished that she could be more like Krystal: funny and tough; impossible to intimidate; always coming out fighting. — J.K. Rowling

It's funny how we like labels. If I ever have a bookstore, I'm not going to put any labels on the sections. — Audrey Niffenegger

Countries are making nuclear weapons like there is no tomorrow. — Emo Philips

I don't like forcing comedy and people just trying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time. — Martin Lawrence

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan."
"I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles

Particularly beautiful people were like particularly funny-looking people, though. Once you know them you mostly forgot about it. — Ann Brashares

This man dresses like an unmade bed. — Henny Youngman

I love your hairless chest." She nuzzled his pecs. "So smooth and sculpted. Like a marble manslut statue. — Nicole Archer

In a man, I like funny guys. A guy who doesn't have a lot of therapy, who's mature. A man, not a boy. — Maura Tierney

Jack Black is so funny! On and off screen, like, he would make you laugh every day. He's hilarious. — Caitlin Hale

He hasn't an enemy in the world, and none of his friend like him. — Oscar Wilde

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

We had to break up, though. We wanted different things - like he wanted kids and I wanted him to hear. — Amy Schumer

Like your zodiac sign? Percy asked. 'I'm a Leo.
'No, stupid,' Leo said. I'm a Leo. You're a Percy. — Rick Riordan

To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click 'I agree'. — Bill Maher

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. — George W. Bush

It's funny; recently I've started to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child. — Dave Grohl

Memories are like mulligatawny soup in a cheap restaurant. It is best not to stir them. — P.G. Wodehouse

I like marriage. The idea. — Toni Morrison

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny. — Anthony Jeselnik

I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared. — Mitt Romney

I hate when I break my own rules. What's the point of me being rational if I flail around like a clown? — Jesse Ball

We're blessed on 'How I Met Your Mother' to feel like we're doing a bit of a funny playlet everyday. — Neil Patrick Harris

When I'm with my friends I'm funny, but I don't feel like I'm a funny clown. — Nora Dunn

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs. — Homer

It's funny how the smallest things I've done speak the loudest about me, but I like that. — Xavier Niel

I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!" — Mitch Hedberg

Hmmm. Someone has a high opinion of himself. Comes with being royalty, I suppose. Like funny hats and a fondness for beheadings. — Brandon Sanderson

Like the NRA says, it's better to have a machine gun and not need it than to need a machine gun and not have it. — John Sandford

I can't make out what they're saying; it sounds like: hiss, blah, she hiss, squeak. But the aunt appears to speak the native language. — Emma Chase

I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

And you look beautiful," she added.
"I look like a cake."
"But a beautiful cake. — Andrea Cremer

Sadness is like growing of hairs around our ass; we may not like it or want it, but it is surprisingly always there. — M.F. Moonzajer

The funny thing is, the girls that I'm always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She's awesome. — Amanda Seyfried

There are some situations from which one can only escape by acting like a devil or a lunatic. — George Orwell

I really like it. I really, really like it. Ah, ah, ah, ah ... buried alive ... buried alive. — Mick Foley

A kiss is like a fight, with mouths. — Kristen Schaal

You can't just go gay, its not like buying a ladder. — Noel Fielding

I smash guitars because I like them. — Pete Townshend

He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife. — Bob Phillips

Holy swoon-gate!' Elliot exclaims when I finally get to the end of my tale. 'If that's what Brooklyn boys are like I'm emigrating as soon as possible! — Zoe Sugg

When I was a little kid I wanted to be Face. I thought, cos I had blond hair and he did too, that when I grew up I'd look like him. — Noel Fielding

A lawyer is just like an attack dog, only without a conscience. — Tom Clancy

We may have been like needles in a hay stack, but they were like needles ... in a stack of needles — D.J. MacHale

Life is like a potato. Well, at least my life is. — Me

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. — Jon Stewart

I just like working with people that I respect and think are really funny. — Busy Philipps

Dark, cool, musty, smoky, where light fell funny and everyone looked like someone you knew or wanted to know. Or, more likely, wanted to forget. — David Baldacci

Maybe that is why kids like Dumbledore: because he is funny rather than a miserable old sod with a long white beard. — Michael Gambon

I've got a friend whose nickname is "Shagger". You might think that's pretty cool. She doesn't like it. — Jimmy Carr

He's been breaking Olympic records like ninepins — Des Lynam

Kristen Stewart always looks like she's posing for pictures taken in a basement by her creepy uncle. — Chelsea Handler

We're just playing basketball. It's not like we're going out to have unprotected sex with Magic. — Charles Barkley

Turner was like a pencil. He bent around that pitch! — Jerry Coleman

What are those bulb things you're slicing?"
"You've never seen fennel? It looks like celery and tastes like licorice. — Ken Jennings