Funny Life Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Life

Funny Life Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Life quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

It is funny you know, you spend 12 years of your life learning about things and about life, but they never really tell you how hard life really is. — Amanda Peterson

The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a new life in a different city. — Vance Bourjaily

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope

If you want to save your child from polio, you can pray or you can inoculate ... Choose science. — Carl Sagan

Jesus girls! Wake up! If a guy wants to drain you of your energy, emotions, and life force he won't sparkle in the sunshine, he'll just marry you. — Nick Shamhart

If a woman cannot make her mistakes charming, she is only a female. — Oscar Wilde

Just because a guy rings your bell, doesn't mean you have to toot his horn. — C.C. Hunter

Emma, okay, enough with the singing. Mommy's getting a three-pill headache. — Jeff Abbott

The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Life is an absolute Dream... then I wake up. — Jane

Philosophers, Poets and Fools have similar Consciousness — Amit Gupta

I'm so careless that now i don't even care if i cared about you. — Me

When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who have gone on to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life. — Mark Twain

You Cannot Live as I Have Lived and Not End Up Like This: The Thoroughly Disgraceful Life & Times of Willie Donaldson. — Jay Nordlinger

With a sense of humor, you can tackle any situation in life. Moreover, you'll also learn to see the funny side of things. — His Holiness Divas

And what have you been up to? she asked.
Oh, I don't know really, I said. Not much. Learning how to be a good loser. — Miriam Toews

It is a very funny thing that the sleepier you are, the longer you take about getting to bed. — C.S. Lewis

Life's pretty funny when you're objectively on the outside looking at it. — Philip Seymour Hoffman

That's the problem with best friends. Sometimes they know you better than you know yourself. — Cecily Von Ziegesar

So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! — Russell Conwell

How are you gonna make an 'idol' from the type of person you're trying to avoid in real life? — Natasha Leggero

Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window. — David Letterman

Life would be a great deal easier if dead things had the decency to remain dead. — Doug MacLeod

I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me. — Tracy Morgan

I must have killed a lot of cows in a past life for Karma to hate me this much. — Katie McGarry

It's always funny watching something so beautiful not know how beautiful it really is. It's sad even. — Holly Hood

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a
bottle. THEY'RE ON TV! — Homer

All lines are gray in the dark. — Nenia Campbell

Life is funny. If you don't laugh, you're in trouble. — Taylor Hawkins

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things. — Joan Rivers

The movement of life has to rest in its own music. — Rabindranath Tagore

Life has a funny way of giving us answers when we haven't even asked the questions. — Jennifer Olds

Life's funny. Sometimes it's your oyster, and sometimes you're it's bitch-slapped man-whore. — Lois Greiman

I don't consider myself, you know, in real life one of those funny guys. My comedy comes through my work, — Eugene Levy

Aspirin will not bring dead hookers back to life. — Dave Attell

When I opened the door, Andrew was standing there like a remedy for heart palpitations. Or maybe he made them worse. It was hard to tell. — N.R. Walker

This bloke was so pissed, he thought his vomit had come to life! — Russell Howard

I don't have a type looks-wise, but all my exes have been funny, open-minded and ambitious. I can't stand men with no passion in life. — Kathryn Prescott

While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead ... While you do not know life, how can you know about death — Confucius

I happen to be very good with younger actors because I have extremely vivid memories of that time of my life, and kids are just funny. — David M. Evans

I think if actors don't think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can't do comedy. — Ben Barnes

I had a dream about you last night. We watched pornography together, but purely for the storyline. — Michael Summers

Funny is funny is funny. — Bob Newhart

Every child that receives life advice should keep in mind that in every parent's past, there's leftover booze and contraceptives. — Bauvard

When I'm interviewed on Leno, just be funny, period. That's all they want from me. I don't want to tell my life story. — David Spade

It's funny how "a part" and "apart" are complete opposites, yet only differ by a little space. — Wade Rouse

Life without humor is not funny. — Fishel Jacobs

When mice run, cats give chase. — Rachel Vincent

If I can sell tickets to my movies like Red Sonja or Last Action Hero, you know I can sell just about anything. — Arnold Schwarzenegger

Funny, how one good cookie could calm the mind and even elevate a troubled soul. — Dean Koontz

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. — Rita Rudner

I want you to lie to me just as sweetly as you know how for the rest of my life. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Liza took her time sipping her tea. That's what I hear Janet. Of course, living it up can take years off your life and add them to your face. — Gwenn Wright

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have. — Will Ferrell

When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life. — Richard Lewis

It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it. - SOMERSET MAUGHAM — Sarah Ban Breathnach

Life is a gamble, we scramble for money,
I might crack a smile, but ain't a damn thing funny. — Prodigy

Don't take life too seriously. — RuPaul

Being funny in life is a lot more like judo. It's using the energy ... — Jon Stewart

The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. — George Carlin

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. — William Goldman

First of all, I find everything funny, which is upsetting to my children sometimes, and to people in my life, in general. — Jenji Kohan

Sporks are only used in the most dire situations. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't. — Woody Allen

Some things in life are certain; death, taxes, and that your family will piss you off. — Melanie Finn

Life is a very brief candle especially when you burn it at both ends — Josh Stern

I had a dream about you last night ... you were a giant slinky and I watched you fall down the stairs. — Amy Summers

I think it's funny how life can lead you down certain paths which you wouldn't have taken otherwise. — Giovanna Fletcher

To do something funny, you have to have experienced it in real life and digested it in a way that amuses you. — Ted Danson

I do find things funny. When you see life through the eyes of someone with a good sense of humor, which my grandmother did, life is a human comedy. — George Takei

Satisfaction is not the achievement of what we want, but the awareness of what we have. — Abhysheq Shukla

It's not called being gay, it's called being fabulous! — PewDiePie

It's all life is. Just going 'round kissing people. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Life is like a potato. Well, at least my life is. — Me

Baby, the fact that you know that's funny is going to save your whole life. — Carrie Fisher

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone. — Steven Wright

I find, when you're an optimist, life has a funny way of looking after you. — Simon Sinek

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

If people are talking behind your back, then just fart. — Thabang Gideon Magaola

Life is funny; it really is. — Karyn Bosnak

It's funny how even when you've lived with someone your whole life, they can still surprise you. — Shannon Wiersbitzky

Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers. — Jerry Seinfeld

It was funny how the monumental shit in your life tends to happen in slow-motion and at warp speed at the same time. — N.R. Walker

The anecdote was funny, but as my father gazed across the river at the university of his youth, his Russian life was in his eyes. — Paullina Simons

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. — Zane Stumpo

Life is funny, at the same time being totally harsh. — Isabel Gillies

Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness. — Vijay Balakrishnan

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. — Isaac Asimov

Wise is the fool who becomes a master at laughter. — Curtis Tyrone Jones

Repetition will be repeated — NightBits

He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house. — Zsa Zsa Gabor

He is not an ideal husband. I am his wife. — Ljupka Cvetanova

I hold together pretty well, considering how much my atoms have been through. — Andrew Smith

My condolences, you're still alive. — Fakeer Ishavardas

Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance. — Antonio Porchia

Life has a funny way of testing you to see if you really want, what you say you want. — Turcois Ominek

I ought to write funny books. Life is really too horribly funny, but unless one's an outsider looking on, it's all such a bore. — Graham Greene

I should think a dead language would be rather boring, socially
speaking. — Sol Luckman

I feel no grief for being called something
which
I am not;
in fact, it's enthralling, somehow, like a good
back rub — Charles Bukowski

I had a funny feeling that day, all day: something about how much I liked my life and where I was with it. — John Darnielle