Funny Inspirational Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Funny Inspirational

Funny Inspirational Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Inspirational quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Hide your gold, your faith and the reason of you journey. — Eduard Heine

Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. — Adelle Davis

I would rather be called funny than pretty. — Nia Vardalos

Life is not a static thing. The only people who do not change their minds are incompetents in asylums, and those in cemeteries. — Everett Dirksen

In a moment, we hope to see the pole vault over the satellite. — David Coleman

Virtue is not solitary; it is bound to have neighbors — Confucius

Given a choice of weapons with you sir, I should choose grammar. — Halliwell Hobbes

Mary Decker Slaney, the world greatest front runner, I shouldn't be surprised to see her at the front — Ron Pickering

A skeptic is a person who, when he sees the handwriting on the wall, claims it is a forgery. — Morris Bender

You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit. If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car. — Harvey Diamond

The sooner the jihadis go up to their imagined #heaven, the sooner our earth would be a heaven. — Fakeer Ishavardas

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it; it's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free. — Steve McConnell

To govern is to correct. If you set an example by being correct, who would dare remain incorrect? — Confucius

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin

A man who does not think and plan long ahead will find trouble right at his door. — Confucius

Men's natures are alike; it is their habits that separate them. — Confucius

A good time for laughing is when you can. — Jessamyn West

It was not so very long ago that people thought that semiconductors were part-time orchestra leaders and microchips were very small snack foods. — Geraldine Ferraro

I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways it will NOT work. — Thomas Edison

Well, the plenty of fish in the sea thing is bullshit," I said. "The other fish are weird, smell funny, or hooked on someone else's fishing line. — L.D. Davis

Hope implies that you think you have a chance at something. — Richelle Mead

Excessive animal protein is at the core of many chronic diseases. — T. Colin Campbell

I'm a big health food freak and a vegetarian devotee. — Chelsea Clinton

Live mean or die trying. — Cameron Jace

Thirty ways to shape up for summer. Number one: eat less. Number two: exercise more. Number three: what was I talking about again? I'm so hungry. — Maria Bamford

Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration. — Stan Kelly-Bootle

The movement of life has to rest in its own music. — Rabindranath Tagore

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. — Janet Coleman

Questions are creative acts of intelligence. — Francis Kingdon Ward

I try to stick to a vegan diet heavy on fruit and vegetables. — Clint Eastwood

To ugly ducklings everywhere,
Don't worry about those fluffy yellow morons:
They'll never get to be swans — Zoe Marriott

It's funny how the ugly duckling always has so many beautiful things to teach us. — Curtis Tyrone Jones

Don't mind your make-up, you'd better make your mind up. — Frank Zappa

While you are not able to serve men, how can you serve spirits of the dead ... While you do not know life, how can you know about death — Confucius

When anybody laughs, he has no mind, no thought, no problem, no suffering. — H.W.L. Poonja

You have to really believe not only in yourself; you have to believe that the world is actually worth your sacrifices. — Zaha Hadid

Life is way too short, so try to enjoy every minute of it with a sense of humor! — Christina Scalise

Judgement comes from experience, and great judgement comes from bad experience. — Bob Packwood

Have you ever heard someone say 'I shouldn't have trusted my intuition'? — Jennifer Ho-Dougatz

Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty. — Santosh Kalwar

Racism is not funny, because it won't solve anything, but making it worst instead, because racism is the reason the world is no longer great. — Werley Nortreus

Those who believe they can do something and those who believe they can't are both right. — Henry Ford

Note to self: When noticing flyaway hairs, do not use lip gloss as an 'on-the-go' hair gel. — Danica McKellar

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding — Elvis Costello

Something feels funny. I must be thinking too hard. — A.A. Milne

Cram nailed his colours to the mast and threw down the Great Pretender — Ron Pickering

Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane. — Jim Gaffigan

I'm saving my sick days for when I'm feeling better. — Salma Hayek

Sailing is just the bottom line, like adding up the score in bridge. My real interest is in the tremendous game of life. — Dennis Conner

The path may not be left for an instant. If it could be left, it would not be the path. — Confucius

May the fleas of a thousand camels invade the crotch of the person that ruins your day. And may their arms be to short too scratch — Keisha Keenleyside

There is no magic to achievement. It's really about hard work, choices, and persistence. — Michelle Obama

When the silent majority opens its mouth, it is usually to yawn. — Gerd De Ley

There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through ... There needs to be a monster truck option. — Jeph Jacques

The art of living. Isn't that a funny expression? — Anne Frank

When you're out of willpower you call on stubbornness, that's the trick. — Henri Matisse

Today I plan to smile a lot, only so people who know me will be freaked the fuck out. — R.D. Ronald

And there's no "I love you" message because Steve Ovett has married the girl — David Coleman

Wise is the fool who becomes a master at laughter. — Curtis Tyrone Jones

The key to success is not through achievement, but through enthusiasm. — Malcolm Forbes

Wealth and rank are what people desire, but unless they are obtained in the right way they may not be possessed. — Confucius

I hold together pretty well, considering how much my atoms have been through. — Andrew Smith

Sometimes you just gotta wear the tinfoil hat. — Gary Hopkins

Situated in some nebulous distance I do what I do so that the universal balance of which I am a part may remain a balance. — Antonio Porchia

When it's all said and done remember, You are only as old as you look. — Mark W. Boyer

The funny thing about an impossibility is that it tends to be a magnet for those who would prove it otherwise. — Richelle E. Goodrich

Anytime you can escape to an adventure do it, what have you got to lose? Just keep turning the page. — Mira Monroe

I realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl ... because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol — Fee Scott

Eternity is not a super-abundance of time, but timelessness. — Vijay Balakrishnan

We drink to those who love us, we drink to those who don't. We drink to those who fuck us, and fuck those who don't! — Tamsyn Bester

He's been breaking Olympic records like ninepins — Des Lynam

It's a battle with himself and with the ticking finger of the clock. — David Coleman

Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something. — William Goldman

I'd rather be funny than wise. — Dennis Miller

It cannot be when the root is neglected that what springs from it will be well ordered. — Confucius

As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. — Lord Chesterfield

The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. — Josh Billings

Coe has smashed the world record, 1:44.92 seconds has never been run easier — Ron Pickering

Keep the other person's well being in mind when you feel an attack of soul-purging truth coming on. — Betty White

By the ruler's cultivation of his own character there is set up the example of the course which all should pursue. — Confucius

Funny, how one good cookie could calm the mind and even elevate a troubled soul. — Dean Koontz

I never learned anything from a match that I won. — Bobby Jones

Without setbacks there'd be no comebacks, and everyone loves a come. — Kyle Johnson

Time heals all wounds. Unless they're infected. Like gangrene. That shit'll kill you. — Johnny Moscato

I've been single so long that if I hug a brother, he'll get pregnant! — Tranea Prosser

Don't take life too seriously. — RuPaul

Instead of committing suicide, people go to work. — Thomas Bernhard

Some names to look forward to - perhaps in the future — David Coleman

A dreamcatcher works, if your dream is to be gay. — Demetri Martin

This is a young man who is only 25, and you have to say, her has answered every question that has ever been asked. — David Coleman

To do nothing is sometimes a good remedy. — Hippocrates

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside. — Rita Rudner

Humor is most powerful thing that uses laughter as it base to chase your blues away. — Kareena Kapoor

Good things come to those who hustle — Chuck Noll

Britain's last gold medal was a bronze in 1952 in Helsinki — Nigel Starmer-Smith

Learn, as if never overtaking your object, and yet as if apprehensive of losing it. — Confucius

Jenna, standing in the doorway with her mouth and hand full of shelled pistachios, says, 'Real' is a dirty word in this place'. — Lauren DeStefano

The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you. — Isaac Asimov

There is the love of knowing without the love of learning; the beclouding here leads to dissipation of mind. — Confucius

Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes. — Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach