Funny Get Even Quotes: top 60 famous quotes about Funny Get Even

Funny Get Even Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Get Even quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Yes, I'm wearing a baby," Sheppard said. "It's very funny. Can we get past that? — Jo Graham

I've always tried to fight against, 'Oh, who's that small funny actress? Let's get her.' — Imelda Staunton

One does not simply ring Roland.
Oh boy. I supposed I would get a lecture on the dangers of wandering into Mordor next. — Ilona Andrews

Who says you only get one? If you're lucky, you will meet The One, The Two, The Three ... and so on.
Nesta — Cathy Hopkins

White people, you did not get a receipt for niggas, you can not return us! — Katt Williams

I hate that there's never anyting good on TV on Saturday afternoons. It's like even the networks are trying to get you off your ass and have a life. — Julie Murphy

Dammit Sir, it's your duty to get married. You can't always be living for pleasure! — Oscar Wilde

Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave. — Jim Butcher

When I saw a sign on the freeway that said, "Los Angeles 445 miles," I said to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane." — Franklyn Ajaye

The funny thing about television is that once you start to do it you never get time to watch it. — Kevin Sorbo

Funny way to get to a wizards' school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they? — J.K. Rowling

Be funny whenever possible, even if some people don't get it. — Rob Lowe

We're like the couple on the sitcom that has good sparks but never get together for the sake of ratings. — Aimee Bender

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. — Jeff Valdez

It's funny how when your kids get sick, they get even cuter when they have a stuffed nose and they mouth breathe. — David Walton

Do you know what happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your wife back, your dog back and your job back. — Richard Belzer

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. — Will Rogers

You ever get a postcard, you get so excited you don't even read it! "Hey I got a - who cares." — Jim Gaffigan

Don't worry about Sian," Louisa said, "things will get better."
"What, she'll stop hitting me?"
"No, but you'll stop bruising so easily. — Dylan Perry

Now go back to Supercuts and get your $5 back jabroni! — Dwayne Johnson

My computer made a funny sound the other day. Of course, I've never heard it get thrown out a window before. — Various

It's funny how the hippies and the punks tried to get rid of the conservatives, but they always seem to get the upper hand in the end. — Bjork

It's funny how the closer you get to God, the more you realize how far you are from Him. — Mark Hart

I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran

I don't get into politics, general or musical, but just call me if you get jury duty. Even in New Jersey I was able to help somebody. — Eugene Ormandy

Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job ... Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us. — Bill Cosby

Get in my way again, boy, and you're going to learn that Velkan isn't the only one in this family who has fangs. Retta to Viktor — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Women KNOW, we just know. Even if we didn't know, we would know. Men won't get this, but women will..because we KNOW — Karen Gibbs

How much detention did you get?
Two weeks. One per arsehole. — Stephanie Perkins

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet. — Doug Stanhope

I can go for a week without a guitar, but it's not even funny if I don't get to surf for a month. — Jack Johnson

If he was able to make her feel even the slightest bit of guilt for being so oblivious - if he could get through all that makeup and high fashion. — Matthew Quick

We all know funny people who can't get it down on the page - even funny writers who can't get it down on the page. — Calvin Trillin

You think this is funny?" I snorted. "You would. Your sense of humor is so dark, even the lesser demons don't get you. — Pippa DaCosta

Writers don't get mad they get even in their novels. — Candace C. Bowen

Even if a farmer intends to loaf, he gets up in time to get an early start. — E.W. Howe

Holy swoon-gate!' Elliot exclaims when I finally get to the end of my tale. 'If that's what Brooklyn boys are like I'm emigrating as soon as possible! — Zoe Sugg

Max: What's a period? George: It's a bullet we dodge, go get ready. — George Lopez

She already had a headache-she didn't want to add 'get tortured' to today's to-do list. — C.C. Hunter

Imogene always sits
on the remote. It's probably wedged between her butt cheeks."
"Should I go get a crowbar? — Kirsten Miller

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional funny guy. — Chris Rock

Get a in clothes dryer with Magic Johnson and some razorblades. — Jim Norton

He can't get broke so long as he is stuffed with money. — L. Frank Baum

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable. — Bo Burnham

Tourists - have some fun with New york's hard-boiled cabbies. When you get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay? I was hitchhiking." — David Letterman

By the time we get to church, I need church cuz I've been yelled at by everyone in the family. — Jeff Foxworthy

I've never been bothered with my conduct. I've only been bothered by people that don't get it correct when they gossip about me. — Shannon L. Alder

The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century. — Jerry Coleman

I see some people with glasses here, I trust people with glasses, don't you? But if you're wearing your glasses like this ... "Get away from 'em!" — Jim Gaffigan

People are funny. They look down from all sorts of heights and then if the looking down has no effect they get unsure. — John McGahern

About mistakes it's funny. You got to make your own; and not only that, if you try to keep people from making theirs they get mad. — Edna Ferber

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th. — David Letterman

It's funny. I did give birth to an alien on 'The X-Files.' And it's just the teaser, so I'm dead before we even get into the episode. — Megan Follows

It's a funny thing sensing someone else's sex drive. After a while, you get to mistaking it for your own. — Haruki Murakami

What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off? — Parker S. Huntington

I wonder what will happen if i put a hand cream on my feet, will they get confused and start clapping? — Ellen DeGeneres

Too many writers get stuck in the trap of writing what they think is funny and not considering who they are writing it for. — Robin Thede

Isn't it funny how something that will later be a blessing can be a curse if you get it too soon. — T.D. Jakes

Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of? — Steven Wright

Whenever I call a company and get put on hold, I never really feel like I'm being held. — Randy Glasbergen