Funny Ex Girlfriend Quotes
Collection of top 31 famous quotes about Funny Ex Girlfriend
Funny Ex Girlfriend Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Ex Girlfriend quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality!
— John Green
You know your girlfriend is too young when she'll do everything in bed but go upside down because it's too scary.
— Daniel Tosh
Mel: Does Bret's girlfriend look anything like me? Murray: A little, around the eyes. Mel: Oh yeah? Big eyes huh? Murray: Well ... she's got eyes.
— Kristen Schaal
I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.
— Jimmy Carr
I watch the Discovery Channel, and you know what I've discovered? I need a girlfriend.
— Dave Attell
My girlfriend is Jewish. But it's easier to buy her a Christmas present and then break it into 8 pieces.
— Anthony Jeselnik
Think of your girlfriend or boyfriend or whomever you want to.
— Eugene Ormandy
Recently my girlfriend asked me if I was having sex behind her back and I replied, "Yes, who did you think it was?"
— Jimmy Carr
To the stupidity of men, " Dakota said, raising a glass. "And my brother, who is their king.
— Susan Mallery
I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower.
— Daniel Tosh
I've never been to a hotel with a rotating restaurant on top, but one time I took my girlfriend to a merry-go-round, and I gave her a burrito.
— Mitch Hedberg
We all men want a bad girl friend, but a good wife.
— M.F. Moonzajer
My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen.
— Mitch Hedberg
A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"
— Billy Connolly
My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all.
— Robbie Amell
After 'Crocodile Dundee,' I turned down lots of stuff, most of it where I'd play the girlfriend of some funny man.
— Linda Kozlowski
Walked right by an ex-girlfriend today. Not on purpose, I just didn't recognize her with her mouth closed.
— Aristotle.
And my girlfriend, she's FAT! How fat? She's so fat she wears two watches-one for each time zone!
— Rodney Dangerfield
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
— Rodney Dangerfield
