Funny End Quotes
Collection of top 81 famous quotes about Funny End
Funny End Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny End quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
End? You don't mean like, dead end?
— Paul Dini
I'm happy to start on one topic and end on another one entirely, as long as it's funny.
— Dave Barry
If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
— Steven Wright
I've decided I don't like books that end with 'The End'. The fact that there are no more pages, suggests to me that the book has ended.
— Wayne Gerard Trotman
I saw on HBO they were advertising a boxing match "It's a fight to the finish". That's a good place to end.
— Mitch Hedberg
James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
— Will Ferrell
You Cannot Live as I Have Lived and Not End Up Like This: The Thoroughly Disgraceful Life & Times of Willie Donaldson.
— Jay Nordlinger
The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.
— Frankie Boyle
Ugliness is better than beauty. It lasts longer and in the end, gravity will get us all.
— Johnny Depp
If she kept wondering about how much of her life Bran engineered, she'd end up on a funny farm knitting caps for ducks.
— Patricia Briggs
Once I was doing a sponsored walk. In the end I managed to raise so much money, I could afford a taxi.
— Jimmy Carr
![Funny End Quotes By Vladimir Nabokov: [ ... ] and I switched to English](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/funny-end-quotes-by-vladimir-nabokov-947491.jpg "Funny End Quotes By Vladimir Nabokov: [ ... ] and I switched to English")
[ ... ] and I switched to English literature, where so many frustrated poets end as pipe-smoking teachers in tweeds.
— Vladimir Nabokov
Adventures are funny things. They always begin with the unexpected, but they always end wit the promise of adventures yet to comestoriai
— Wayne Thomas Batson
Therefore, you might end up, like be dead, with still having that notion of 'not giving up' in your mind.
— Jay Mark D. Saga-ad
We had 1 book, the phone book, I've read it, it wasn't a great read, lots of characters, and on the end loads of polish people turn up.
— Stephen K. Amos
Careers are funny things. They begin mysteriously and, just as mysteriously, they can end.
— Edward Albee
Eternity is really long, especially near the end.
— Woody Allen
Here's the funny thing about the world coming to an end. Once it gets going, it doesn't seem to stop.
— Susan Beth Pfeffer
If Jesus had known that his image would end up on Justin Bieber's calf, he would've never started Christianity.
— Natasha Leggero
A joke is a way to say, 'I'm going to do something funny now. If I don't get a laugh at the end, I'm a failure.'
— Penn Jillette
He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly realize they have been talking to the wrong end.
— Elizabeth Jones
Funny thing about straddling fences, though: eventually you end up with a pain in the butt and not much ground covered in any direction.
— Logan Wolfram
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did.
— Bette Davis
On the stage you're there, it's live. There's a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away.
— Theodore Bikel
I mean what good does it do anyone to kill themselves working, because the worms will get you in the end.
— Dorothy Gish
You know you've reached the end of a relationship: when your lover now demands that your jokes be funny before they laugh.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It's funny whom we end up choosing to love and who ends up choosing to love us. It's rarely the people we think it should be.
— Robin Jones Gunn
Marriage marks the end of many short follies - being one long stupidity.
— Friedrich Nietzsche
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term.
— Patton Oswalt
If it was just the potatoes that were affected, at the end of the day you will pay the price if you're a fussy eater.
— Steve Coogan
It's funny how you can know your friends so well, but you still end up playing the same games with them.
— Lauren Oliver
I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.
— Stuart Pearce
Funny how you can think that the world is ending but still believe things will work out. We always think there's going to be a happy ending somewhere.
— Lorna Jane Cook
Many people think the Cards at the end of the wire will cross the finish line first.
— Jerry Coleman
When pointing out the flaws in others, people always end up talking about themselves.
— Claire Chilton
Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.
— Darynda Jones
You can make fun of yourself and people will laugh at you. If you're smart, you'll end up as a comedian. If you're not, you'll end up as a clown.
— Ljupka Cvetanova
I hate arrows. They try to tell me which direction to go. It's like "I ain't going that way, line with two thirds of a triangle on the end!"
— Mitch Hedberg
Penard's got a secret baby!' Fifteen-year-old Richard twisted his lips up at one end. 'Maybe he has a secret wife in the attic!
— Olivia Newport
Well, that cinched it. He was an asshole. I was definitely going to end up sleeping with him.
— Molly Harper
Don't you wish we all lived in black light ... for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know it
— Josh Stern
It's funny how people who we fight with the most at the end of day are the ones that really got your back.
— Jasmine V
And he nipped them in the bud, right at the end
— Bob Holness
If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you're looking
through binoculars the wrong
way — Josh Stern
I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it's often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation.
— Pharrell Williams
Love is like a war; easy to start but hard to end and you never know where it might take you.
— Oscar Wilde
In the end, it's all about perseverance.
— Dean Koontz
Humor is not an end in itself, but a tool to understanding. A dense head must be tickled with an ax.
— Bauvard
Yes, it's funny, isn't it? You try to do what's best for the people you love, and you just end up in trouble for your efforts.
— Kirsten Miller
At the end of six innings of play, it's Montreal 5, Expos 3.
— Jerry Coleman
