Funny Drunk Cop Quotes: top 36 famous quotes about Funny Drunk Cop

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Drunk Cop quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was. — Filippo Bologna

I think it would be difficult to get drunk in China. I tried to drink some beer with chop sticks and it took me a whole day to finish one can. — Jerry Snider

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist. — Doug Stanhope

After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going to need some help standing up. — C.S. Pacat

I'm in no condition to drive ... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra

I'm poor and my cat is huge. — Christopher Moore

Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. — John Bellairs

On horseback you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music; a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk. — Walter Moers

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain — Ashley Jade

I find it hard to relax around any man who's got the second button on his shirt undone. — Bill Nighy

We were not actually famous, I have to add. People were just drunk. — John Duover

Play with heart; Play with passion; Play within yourself; Have fun; Play like a champion. — Jim Tressel

You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye — Krista Alasti

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

I'm a mischievous drunk. — Noel Fielding

God might have been either drunk or naughty when he was creating women. — M.F. Moonzajer

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said
— David Nicholls

What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny."
"We're in the wrong movie," I confessed. — Lou Harper

I'm very passionate about charity ... Performing is my passion. But it's not gonna change the world. That's why I give back. — Demi Lovato

She was drunk so I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out. — Dave Attell

I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube. — Aaron Paul

If people were not wicked I should not mind their being stupid; but, to our misfortune, they are both. — George Sand

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox. — Mitch Hedberg

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!" — Henny Youngman

Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen. — Jim Gaffigan

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. — George Burns

WHY did she do this? She was a terrible drunk texter. All the things she wanted to say to people during the day came out at night, like a vampire. — Harriet Evans

There is no finer revenge than that which others inflict on your enemy. Moreover, it has the advantage of leaving you the role of a generous man. — Cesare Pavese

It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard. — Ilona Andrews

I go on YouTube when somebody says to look something up. — George Clooney

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers. — Bauvard

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Winston Churchill

I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. — Santosh Kalwar

You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot. — Sherwood Smith