Funny Drunk Cop Quotes: top 36 famous quotes about Funny Drunk Cop

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Drunk Cop quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Filippo Bologna: He was so drunk that he would have

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was. — Filippo Bologna

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Jerry Snider: I think it would be difficult to get

I think it would be difficult to get drunk in China. I tried to drink some beer with chop sticks and it took me a whole day to finish one can. — Jerry Snider

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Doug Stanhope: Complaining that a comic is drunk is like

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist. — Doug Stanhope

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By C.S. Pacat: After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going

After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going to need some help standing up. — C.S. Pacat

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Yogi Berra: I'm in no condition to drive ... wait!

I'm in no condition to drive ... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Christopher Moore: I'm poor and my cat is huge.

I'm poor and my cat is huge. — Christopher Moore

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By John Bellairs: Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by

Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. — John Bellairs

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Walter Moers: On horseback you feel as if you're moving

On horseback you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music; a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk. — Walter Moers

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Carroll Bryant: All I wanted for Christmas was a New

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Ashley Jade: Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober

Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain — Ashley Jade

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Bill Nighy: I find it hard to relax around any

I find it hard to relax around any man who's got the second button on his shirt undone. — Bill Nighy

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By John Duover: We were not actually famous, I have to

We were not actually famous, I have to add. People were just drunk. — John Duover

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Jim Tressel: Play with heart; Play with passion; Play within

Play with heart; Play with passion; Play within yourself; Have fun; Play like a champion. — Jim Tressel

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Krista Alasti: You're not going to campus. You're going out

You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye — Krista Alasti

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Criss Jami: Drunken men give some of the best pep

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Noel Fielding: I'm a mischievous drunk.

I'm a mischievous drunk. — Noel Fielding

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By M.F. Moonzajer: God might have been either drunk or naughty

God might have been either drunk or naughty when he was creating women. — M.F. Moonzajer

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Dakota Cassidy: [Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By David Nicholls: Okay, well I think the programme is like

Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said
— David Nicholls

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Lou Harper: What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny.""We're

What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny."
"We're in the wrong movie," I confessed. — Lou Harper

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Demi Lovato: I'm very passionate about charity ... Performing is

I'm very passionate about charity ... Performing is my passion. But it's not gonna change the world. That's why I give back. — Demi Lovato

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Dave Attell: She was drunk so I took her back

She was drunk so I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out. — Dave Attell

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Aaron Paul: I filmed myself drunk, just to see what

I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube. — Aaron Paul

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By George Sand: If people were not wicked I should not

If people were not wicked I should not mind their being stupid; but, to our misfortune, they are both. — George Sand

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox. — Mitch Hedberg

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Henny Youngman: Another drunk goes up to a parking meter,

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!" — Henny Youngman

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Jim Gaffigan: Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in

Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen. — Jim Gaffigan

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By George Burns: I don't have a drinking problem. I drink.

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. — George Burns

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Harriet Evans: WHY did she do this? She was a

WHY did she do this? She was a terrible drunk texter. All the things she wanted to say to people during the day came out at night, like a vampire. — Harriet Evans

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Cesare Pavese: There is no finer revenge than that which

There is no finer revenge than that which others inflict on your enemy. Moreover, it has the advantage of leaving you the role of a generous man. — Cesare Pavese

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Ilona Andrews: It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk

It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard. — Ilona Andrews

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By George Clooney: I go on YouTube when somebody says to

I go on YouTube when somebody says to look something up. — George Clooney

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Bauvard: Bike lane: the section of the road that

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers. — Bauvard

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Winston Churchill: I may be drunk, Miss, but in the

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Winston Churchill

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Santosh Kalwar: I beg your pardon; I am drunk without

I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. — Santosh Kalwar

Funny Drunk Cop Quotes By Sherwood Smith: You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot.

You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot. — Sherwood Smith