Funny Drunk Quotes: top 44 famous quotes about Funny Drunk

Funny Drunk Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Drunk quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Angel screeched with fury and despair to the empty walls around her. I'm human, do you hear me? It hurts! — James Patterson

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was. — Filippo Bologna

I think it would be difficult to get drunk in China. I tried to drink some beer with chop sticks and it took me a whole day to finish one can. — Jerry Snider

Complaining that a comic is drunk is like going to a titty bar and complaining because your lapdancer is a communist. — Doug Stanhope

After a long moment, Laurent said, I'm going to need some help standing up. — C.S. Pacat

I'm in no condition to drive ... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra

Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. — John Bellairs

I think that gratitude for life, whatever the cause, indicates that one has managed to hold on to the core of one's sanity. — Stephen King

On horseback you feel as if you're moving in time to classical music; a camel seems to progress to the beat of a drum played by a drunk. — Walter Moers

The major championships have always been a special focus in my career, and as a professional, I think Augusta is where I need to be. — Tiger Woods

All I wanted for Christmas was a New Years Eve party that I would never forget. Too bad I got too drunk to remember it. — Carroll Bryant

Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain — Ashley Jade

We were not actually famous, I have to add. People were just drunk. — John Duover

You're not going to campus. You're going out to get drunk and play with other ladies' boobies. - Kye — Krista Alasti

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

I beg your pardon; I am drunk without a drink. English wine & words are vulnerable to every man. — Santosh Kalwar

I'm a mischievous drunk. — Noel Fielding

God might have been either drunk or naughty when he was creating women. — M.F. Moonzajer

As my eyes struggled to adjust, Edward whispered, Renesmee. — Stephenie Meyer

[Ella] "Again, I ask, whose side are you on?"
[Lola] "The side that has the least Dorito-flavored vomit on the floor after the party. — Dakota Cassidy

There is a difference between fresh and weird. You never want to throw your reader out of the story. Keep it fresh but natural. — Darynda Jones

Claws grabbed his head from behind, curving round his face, serrated talons gouging into his eyes — Neil Davies

What?" he asked. "You're staring at me funny."
"We're in the wrong movie," I confessed. — Lou Harper

As long as you were willing to drink beer, get rowdy, and proclaim yourself a Viking, you had a place at their table. — Ilona Andrews

She was drunk so I took her back to my place and we did it doggy style, not because we planned it that way, but that's just how she passed out. — Dave Attell

You're drunk as four skunks, you idiot. — Sherwood Smith

I filmed myself drunk, just to see what I'm like. I watched so many funny videos of people drunk on YouTube. — Aaron Paul

Hate and force cannot be in just a part of the world without having an effect on the rest of it. — Eleanor Roosevelt

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers. — Bauvard

Foreign-language books are sometimes more beautiful when you can't tell what's being said. It's like you ruin it by reading. — Craig Thompson

The days of peace and slumberous calm are fled. — John Keats

Okay, well I think the programme is like being screamed at for an hour by a drunk with a strobe-light, but like I said
— David Nicholls

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. — Winston Churchill

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox. — Mitch Hedberg

We're not going to let our campaign be dictated by fact checkers. — Mitt Romney

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, "Huh. I lost 100 pounds!" — Henny Youngman

Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen. — Jim Gaffigan

I love firing guns. It's an amazing feeling - so sexy and powerful. — Hayley Atwell

I don't have a drinking problem. I drink. I get drunk. I fall down, no problem. — George Burns

This idea of repetition and revision is central to my working process-this idea of stacking and layering and building up densities and recoveries. — Ellen Gallagher

Some think of Islam as an expedient jobs program that moves the female half of the population out of the way. — William Langewiesche

WHY did she do this? She was a terrible drunk texter. All the things she wanted to say to people during the day came out at night, like a vampire. — Harriet Evans

The city of Atlanta has always had a good spirit. — Ivan Allen

It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard. — Ilona Andrews