Funny Chelsea Handler Quotes
Collection of top 27 famous quotes about Funny Chelsea Handler
Funny Chelsea Handler Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Chelsea Handler quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I think nudity is funny, especially when it's inappropriate.
— Chelsea Handler
The mother-in-law is the centre of a family.
— Les Dawson
I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.
— Chelsea Handler
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.
— Chelsea Handler
Why would you go out and not drink? Just stay home and sit there.
— Chelsea Handler
I was in a tailspin of confusion I hadn't experienced since the first time I heard George W. Bush speak.
— Chelsea Handler
First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.
— Chelsea Handler
There's a lot of pretty funny women out there.
— Chelsea Handler
We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.
— Chelsea Handler
Any teacher in the arts and sciences has to maintain a sense of childlikeness to be truly inventive.
— Chris Raschka
Every heresy has been an effort to narrow the Church.
— Gilbert K. Chesterton
That's Al Qaeda's new plan: to destroy America one period at a time.
— Chelsea Handler
You can't stalk what's yours", he returned.
I looked at his shirt. "Yes, I suspect that's what all the stalkers say. — Kristen Ashley
I looked at his shirt. "Yes, I suspect that's what all the stalkers say. — Kristen Ashley
I don't like speaking publicly when I don't have to be funny.
— Chelsea Handler
But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.
— Chelsea Handler
I think they should make Twilight closets and all the cast members can walk out of them.
— Chelsea Handler
If someone took the 'F' letter off me, I'd be ucked.
— Chelsea Handler
I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.
— Chelsea Handler
I thought maybe she was trying to be funny but then realized this was impossible to do without a sense of humor.
— Chelsea Handler
You should never be mean to other girls. I don't care what grade you're in. Be nice to people until you're my age ... and you have your own TV show.
— Chelsea Handler
Every tree bears fruit in its sacred season.
— Lailah Gifty Akita
Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.
— Chelsea Handler