Funny But True Quotes
Collection of top 90 famous quotes about Funny But True
Funny But True Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny But True quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
Ish #153 Artificial plants grow best in artificial light.
— Regina Griffin
Dog love is blind. For that matter, dog love is stupid.
— Rob Sheffield
MY FRIEND: SO DO YOU TAKE A FOREIGN LANGUAGE CLASS?ME: SURE DO HAVE BEEN FOR THE LAST 13 YEARS.
MY FRIEND: COOL WHAT LANGUAGE?
ME: MATH. — KanyaACoffman
I have only one heart to give and one mind to lose. May I someday find a woman who will take them both.
— Michael W. Grimard
You can't kill us all, human.' He was right. I raised the machine gun a little. 'True, but who's going to be first in line? — Laurell K. Hamilton
Any one could write a book," said the taxi driver. " Yes, they could, but they DON'T," said Maeve Binchy
— Maeve Binchy
You, lass, have a self-image problem.Well, that might be a little true, but she also had a mirror. — Cherise Sinclair
It was a running joke; everyone was aware of how ridiculous the rumor mill was, and yet they all shamelessly participated in it.
— Jamie McGuire
It's funny. That feeling of home. It's so temporary, like bathwater: the warmth eventually grows cold.
— K.M. Alexander
Google, Facebook helps people than people helps people, in today's world
— Jeevagan Nagarajan
Slap-stick comedy is really funny, unless you're the one getting slapped with the stick.
— Carroll Bryant
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
— Lew Wasserman
I was the girl with cake batter in her hair, egg on her shirt and her foot in her mouth. Always.
— Kari Luna
It was 10:30 in the morning and I was already running behind. This is hardly unusual, but it pisses me off every single time.
— Julie Powell
Stoplights and love can be cruel
— Sesame Street
Every Hero Becomes a Bore at last." Ralph Waldo Emerson
— Tim O. Casey
I come from a long line of miserable people.
— Arlene Schindler
Never lie in bed at night asking yourself questions you can't answer.
— Charles M. Schulz
Sometimes I wonder how many others you're texting while you're texting me.
— Abdul'Rauf Hashmi
Boys do suck the brains out of smart girls.
— K.A. Tucker
You're sad? I'll cheer you up. You're upset? I'd love to listen. All you have to do is come to me, you know I'll be there for you.
— Werley Nortreus
To claim that one can never live a positive life with a negative mind is a very negative claim to make!
— Criss Jami
Like all great adventures, this one started with someone trying to get laid. King Menelaus didn't go to Troy for the baklava.
— Mark Leiren-Young
Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all.
— Mark Lawrence
Well sue me for staring. I'd be willing to scrub away my shame on his washboard abs.
— Tia Giacalone
Life before toilet paper was not worth living.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
A man grows weary of having no lovers but his fingers.
— George R R Martin
I get the feeling humanity would be thrilled to discover life on another planet. So why not rediscover it here and really cherish it.
— Tom Althouse
It is not against the law to be a nincompoop. If so, I would have a rap sheet as long as my arm.
— Sue Ann Jaffarian
Drunken men give some of the best pep talks.
— Criss Jami
"vers libre," (free verse) or nine-tenths of it, is not a new metre any more than sleeping in a ditch is a new school of architecture.
— G.K. Chesterton
Most people are scumbags. Accept it. Let go. Chill out, douchebags.
— Fakeer Ishavardas
A woman always has half an onion left over, no matter what size of the onion, the dish or the woman
— Terry Pratchett
His deepest need was that people should like him. An admirable trait that; in a spaniel. Or a whore.
— Michael Dobbs
When you're in a train and it breaks down, well, there you is. But when you're in a plane and it breaks down, there you AIN'T.
— Amy Hill Hearth
The movies are funny, in one way, because you think of everyone being as beautiful as the dawn, but that isn't true.
— Julian Fellowes
Nothing," she said, "upsets me more than being hungry; I snarl and snap and burst into tears.
— Shirley Jackson
I'm sure I look a wreck. But he's the one who wrecked me so he may as well take a good long look at what he's done.
— Monica Murphy
If you had enough money, you could hardly commit crimes at all. You just perpetrated amusing little peccadilloes.
— Terry Pratchett
The manlier you are, the harder it is to understand what a woman wants: there is not a hint of female brain in you.
— Criss Jami
It's fun to be able to have a fun palate, and the way I say that, you think about it and it sounds funny, but it's true.
— Joey Fatone
But some jokes are hilarious until they become true and they're not so funny anymore.
— Jonathan Dunne
He started to look back, but he knew better. That fool always got eaten in the movies. And Nick didn't want to be on anyone's menu.
— Sherrilyn Kenyon
I was extremely lucky that I had two great wives. It sounds a bit funny to say that, but it's absolutely true.
— Edmund Hillary
I realize you cant just throw real gems at ppl ... because they think cubic zirconia is the real thing lol
— Fee Scott
What you're experiencing isn't a dry spell. It's a dust bowl. Tell me, do you find cob webs in there every time you get yourself off?
— Parker S. Huntington
Even though I dislike being kicked by others, I do enjoy the feeling of kicking others
— Yana Toboso
One person may look and only see a tree, whereas others may look and see a tree with leaves.
— Adrian Sandvaer
Respect? Of course, always, to all, because everything seems funnier when you're trying to show respect.
— Criss Jami
Nothing ruins a good thing quite like knowing you share your opinions with mindless little tits.
— Yahtzee Croshaw
She shuddered. What is it with slobbery kissers? Are they trying to drown us in spit? I mean, Jesus, swallow every now and then.
— Tammara Webber
What is about Army uniforms? Especially combats. They are just drool-worthy, if you ask me.
— Aditi Mathur Kumar
Dogs are angels full of poop.
— Oliver Gaspirtz
He who laughs last ... just didn't get the joke.
— Carroll Bryant
Falling in love and falling to your death feel about the same, I thought. And I almost laughed.
— Shannon Hale
I don't know. I don't really like old movies. The acting is so, 'Hey buddy, ol' pal. Let's go wear our hats and have a big misunderstanding
— Stephanie Perkins
I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!!
— Eoin Colfer
Ish #19 If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking?
— Regina Griffin
Keep calm and be yourself
— Jasmine Lozano
