Funny Adult Quotes: top 55 famous quotes about Funny Adult

Funny Adult Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Funny Adult quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm sure the other kids wouldn't mind not being lectured by another toddler over the virtues of sharing and the mental benefits of toy blocks. — Hayden Thorne

Don't try and make me feel better, Alex. I hate you."
"I hate you, too. — Simone Elkeles

Well, you know that old saying, "Keep your friends close and make out with your enemies. — Shae Ross

This is Sailor Supergirl," George says. "She knows all about black holes. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

No bikinis on a first date." He nods. "I'm sure that's a rule. Or should be. For my sisters anyway. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

Sylvia grabs my sleeve. "He's a looker."
"I know. The problem is, he knows it, too. — Simone Elkeles

someone like Grace. Someone exactly like Grace, with her Ted Bundy rants
and her calming presence and - hello, irony. — Elle Kennedy

She would have to ride the nightmare in her sleep. Only that would keep it material, or enable her to dematerialize with it. — Piers Anthony

His eyes are a hazy swirl of
gray, like a thick mass of clouds gathering before an impending storm — Elle Kennedy

Scientist say that music can change the speed of a heartbeat. They failed to add: so can a text message. — Holly Smale

Those sweet lips. My, oh my, I could kiss those lips all night long.
Good things come to those who wait. — Jess C. Scott

Rachel opened her mouth to respond, but the head cut her off. — Brandon Mull

It's just ... how do I put this? Maybe it's just hard for me to imagine turning down something that's so much harder for someone like me to find. — Liz Czukas

You can't be trying to be funny. As an adult actor, sometimes I'll muddle it up by over-thinking things. — David Walton

We're adults. I might be a little more of an adult if you're counting years but I bet I have a lower IQ, so that puts us pretty much even. — Robyn Carr

Funny story. A bunch of people -- the cult -- blame the appearance of abilities on the invention of the internet. — Alex Lane

I'm waiting with baited breath to hear that silver tongue of yours. — Jodie B. Cooper

You've got a big ego, Fuentes."
"That's not all I've got. — Simone Elkeles

It's not really wine," he said. "It's Diet Coke. And if anyone ever serves you brown wine with a foamy head, send it back. — Jennifer Echols

Boys don't gossip."
"Pah! You don't know us as well as you think."
This was a disturbing prospect. — Jennifer Echols

He was telling war stories. The funny, innocuous ones that made everyone forget that war could leave you without fingers, or legs, or a soul. — Sabrina Fedel

I DON'T KNOW! I HAVE NO FREAKIN' IDEA. I'M ONLY FIFTEEN. I want my mom. — Jacquelyn Nicole Davis

It's funny how one life-changing event could make you forget what happiness felt like. — Christie Cote

There's always time for arguin' when you're a Fuentes. — Simone Elkeles

Can you put your hands on my crotch?"
"Why, hell no, I cannot." I didn't remember anything like this happening in Pride and Prejudice. — Jennifer Echols

Yes, from drinking too much beer and generally being a tyrannical egomaniac. — Sarah Dalton

The human body is the best work of art. — Jess C. Scott

Well sue me for staring. I'd be willing to scrub away my shame on his washboard abs. — Tia Giacalone

I broke up with her to avoid getting into a serious relationship with her, and now it — Elle Kennedy

Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it. — Jimmy Fallon

My humor is so dirty I could masturbate to it. — Aleksandra Ninkovic

When I turn back to Jase, he's again beaming at me. "You're nice." He sounds pleased, as if he hadn't expected this aspect of my personality. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

I had shaved my beard for her-a huge disappointment, because I'd enjoyed my three weeks looking like a bank robber. — Jennifer Echols

She ignores me, so I cup my hands over my mouth and do something I haven't done in years - barnyard sounds. — Simone Elkeles

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character. — Jon Stewart

I guess I like things that take time and attention. More worthwhile that way. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

Right. Because if you have trouble putting ketchup and mustard on a hot dog, you should totally move on to saving lives. — Huntley Fitzpatrick

I know how to make adults laugh pretty well. I don't know if kids think I'm that funny. — Tom Bodett

What's with all those tattoos? Makes you look like a hooligan."
"I suspect I am a hooligan. — Simone Elkeles

Whoa, who was that?"
"Madison Stone," Kiara mutters.
"Introduce me to her."
"Why?"
Because I know it'll annoy the shit out of you. — Simone Elkeles

I squinted at her. "You're an adult." "You're an adult too." "But you're an older adult. You've had more practice." Mom leaned back and laughed. — Ilona Andrews

A text pops up on the screen. It's from Luis. I can't help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.
Luis: Hey — Simone Elkeles

If you are an adult, and you are planning to dress up on Halloween ... don't. I will find you. I will hurt you. — Lewis Black

And all those things you listed right now, they're
things Garrett and I do together. Dude, you don't want me. You want me and
Garrett. — Elle Kennedy

Being a laborer with one hand is about as useful as being a sperm donor with one nut. — Devon McCormack

Ben walks in the room and asks, "What were you guys doing?" Nikki says "Nothing" at the same time I say, "Your sister and I were just makin' out. — Simone Elkeles

You look like a hot tamale."
"That's not really a compliment. — Simone Elkeles

I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them. — Jennifer Echols

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be a dickhead. Well, I did. — Simone Elkeles

Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me. — Stacey Marie Brown

Cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder. — Simone Elkeles

There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world. — Jean Baudrillard

Look, if I were straight, you'd be grandparents before your time. You should be relieved that I'm gay. Aren't you grateful? — Hayden Thorne

Here's a shock: An adult who still hangs out in skate parks is a bad parent. — Daniel Tosh

What are you boys doing?" she asks, as if we're still little kids messing around.
"Arguin'," Carlos says matter-of-factly. — Simone Elkeles