Fantasy Humor Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Fantasy Humor

Fantasy Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Fantasy Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

If the president and the Vice President dies who becomes President" "Thats easy Arnold Swartzanager — Dan Gutman

You know your marriage is in trouble when your wife would rather listen to a cackling drug lord than accept your apology. — Red Tash

Eat dirt evil doer! — A.R. Von

Collin! What a gorgeous name. Then again his name could have been Cracker Jack and I would have thought it was just as wonderful. — Nicole Gulla

May you and your triple cursed wash water turn purple with orange spots and fall down a bottomless pit! — Patricia C. Wrede

Don't threaten me with a good time. — Michael Anthony

When I dreamed about becoming a fantasy adventurer, I was always a max-level character with epic gear. Look at me. I'm wearing vendor trash. — Noelle Alladania Meade

Thinking sure could get a fellow in a lot of trouble. Almost as much as opening his big gabber and sticking his muddy foot in it. — Gillian Bronte Adams

Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly we'd have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage. — John Zakour

Calico Kitty

My calico kitty
was painted and primed
she could prowl
the night away ~
without spending a dime... — Muse

Nahum bobbed again. 'My crest is cropped by croaking cranes. I go to drown in doleful dumps, dead-drunk with drearihead. — John Bellairs

I hope so," grumbled Ian. "I'm going to look for another one of 'em winged dogs for Mabel. — Ness Kingsley

She was every inch the skeletal goddess that had been promised by the bones of her feet. — Jefferson Smith

What goes up must come down, unless a dragon eats it. — Brian Rathbone

All around us is a nothing that stretches on for infinity. We humans can barely comprehend that. If we comprehend it we are rarely pleased. — F.K. Preston

It's like a jolt of electricity, but worse. — Lee Davidson

Twango's hospitality, though largely symbolic, does him credit. — Jack Vance

Jiggery pokery!" said Harry in a fierce voice. "Hocus pocus - squiggly wiggly - "
"MUUUUUUM!" howled Dudley, "He's doing you know what! — J.K. Rowling

Jamal stared at the dog in his arms. Why I am I holding a dog full of angels? — Diana Wynne Jones

I'd said it before and meant it: Alive or undead, the love of my life was a badass. — Richelle Mead

He gives new meaning to the word bombed. — Lee Davidson

Helianthus snorted. "Olorun is like his mother: he will only change as the face of a rock changes. But . . . I think he missed you. — Ash Gray

My memories came back like a punch in the face. Only good. — Lee Davidson

And the lives of these old black women were synthesized in their eyes- a puree of tragedy and humor, wickedness and serenity, truth and fantasy. — Toni Morrison

When words come out of your mouth, do your ears just block all incoming sound waves? — Amethyst Marie

Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them. — Noel Fielding

Tomorrow I'd probably wake up to find my shoes talking to me. And let me tell you, the price I pay for shoes, they'd have one heck of an attitude. — Melissa L. Webb

After all, whistling put everyone at ease. Unless it was a funeral dirge. But he didn't want to think about that." Montague. — M.H. Snowy

So what did you do, drug me, stuff me in the trunk, then dump me like a sacrificial offering into that vampire's coffin? - Shella — Krista Alasti

Dude, it's mind control. That's got to be the best superpower ever! — Lee Davidson

My creativity keeps me from starving. Humanity keeps my life mundane. Loving secures my love for life, but my imagination keeps me sane. — F.K. Preston

I might be able to walk away from sexy, dangerous shifters, but chocolate had me at its beck and call. — Meghan Ciana Doidge

So the owner of a monster head wants to meet on a path named Nut," I said. "That's appropriate. — Lisa Shearin

Well, of course. But, we already knew that. I mean ... I am kind of a big deal-Matt Carter — Natasha Larry

She wears those old fashioned pj's like body armour. Going to bed these days is like wresting with Kevlar. — Poppet

Sylvie had an amazing life, but she didn't get to live it very often. — Roderick Townley

I will never understand why you Humans weren't designed to recycle your body's water after filtering waste. It's just so much more efficient. — Bryan Fields

I should hex the IRS. — Laura Oliva

Step One: Grab Mattie. Step Two: Run. It wasn't much of a plan. But what it lacked in potential it made up for in simplicity. — Ted Rabinowitz

I love Carlos like the weird, half-dead son I never particularly wanted — Daniel Jose Older

But then it was over too quickly and they pulled away. She knew they couldn't stand there and kiss like a couple on the run in a thriller. — Joss Ware

We've got an unbeatable team."- Sauron — Robert Lynn Asprin

What the hell do you want from me?" "Spontaneous combustion. — Poppet

But it is cute. It's such a boy thing to do.
Drop dead.
Aw, you say the most romantic things. — Eliezer Yudkowsky

MacMillian groaned again, and sat up. "Clients?"
"Yeah. You know, people who'll give us money in exchange for work. — Laura Oliva

Whoosh! went the bluebird of sarcasm, zooming miles above Dale's head. — Sarah Rees Brennan

It is a fool of a shepherd who culls his dogs. — Jefferson Smith

Oh. Sure. It makes perfect sense. Zane is a wolf because his father is an eagle. — C.J. Milbrandt

Fair enough ... No inhaling battery acid," I smirk. "We can't breathe battery
acid, can we? — M.A. George

Fuck you!" "Right here?" He crossed his arms. "That definitely wouldn't help your getting over me. — Stacey Marie Brown

Part of the appeal of the fantastic is taking ridiculous ideas very seriously and pretending they're not absurd. — China Mieville

You know those vampire myths? Bollocks to them. — Rosemary A. Johns

She never even wore stockings; just those bullet proof tights that you see on old maids. — Poppet

Relationships are ropes. Love is a noose. - Durzo Blint — Brent Weeks

That's one huge puppy. — Ksenia Anske

There exists a microscopic breed of brain beetle, commonly known as an 'idea'. An idea desires only one thing: To catch the perfect brain wave. — Leah Broadby

I'm there to block your next move. This is a game — Poppet

I keep dying and hoping you notice me. But you're too busy living. — F.K. Preston

Let me tell you: the only way to get rid of dragons is to have one of your own. — Eugene Shvarts

He's lighting up my life and I don't even know his name. He's already perfect. — Poppet

In the beginning there was Logos ... and God of course. And it was all extremely boring for Logos because he could never beat God at any game ... — Yannis Karatsioris

Being a geological formation gives you a lot of time to think. Also, I subscribed to a number of learned journals. — Neil Gaiman

That's it? That's all that happens after you topple from grace? We lose our rubies and rations?" Marshall smirked. "Woe is me. — Sophie Avett

Shadowmane sighed as well. :We had better do what this Topaz commands. Unicorns are jerks when they don't get their way.: — Ash Gray

Gemma," I said, adding a singsong whine to my voice, "now I can't scare her. You can't go around telling people about me. — Darynda Jones

His father was an ass and he is an ass. I imagine sooner than I should like I shall be playing uncle to a litter of asses. — T.A. Miles

There goes the world's wimpiest vampire. — Heather Swain

Good news is, we're annoying him. Bad news is, we're all going to die painfully. — Brandy Nacole

I know what ails you. — Tom Lucas

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one. — Terry Pratchett

No hard feelings about that time in the Crucible when you mixed my salts and I was nearly blind for a day. No. No, really, drink up! — Patrick Rothfuss

You've never had wok-seared spicy broccoli until you've had takeout trans-temporal wok-seared spicy broccoli delivered by a copy of yourself. — Magnus Von Black

It's a dirty way to fight, but I'm late for lunch.
- Valek to Yelena — Maria V. Snyder

That was not a glare. That was a dignified look of measured contempt. — Brandon Sanderson

Gavin, Logan, Calix. Was there a sale on trendy names when they were born, or something? — Keri Lake

I never arrive unannounced without something big and juicy in hand.
- Simon Hunt — Dannika Dark

I envisioned him tied in a chair, an iron arrow pointed at his brow. Ah, the power of positive thinking. — Red Tash

Levelling my stare at him I drop a hint like a penny into a well, You mentioned you were tied up. Win, you should have reserved that privilege for me. — Poppet

You need to have faith and trust, Moira."
"And a little bit of pixie dust? — Allison Brennan

You can't believe everything people tell you - not even if those people are your own brain. — Jefferson Smith

Not that I did, bang her that is. I'm not saying I wouldn't, how could I ever be sure about something like that? — Poppet

There was a definite pull to him and in that moment I had to know why. — Nicole Gulla

Aren't we all a bunch of weirdos? — Kaori Naruse

It was like staring at a whitewashed wall, but without all the emotion — Joe Abercrombie

Violence can read like poetry. You just have to describe the act as if you're in love with the way your characters bleed. — F.K. Preston

Run first,' Shane said. 'Mourn later.'
It was the perfect motto for Morganville. — Rachel Caine

So I flirt with disaster once or twice. Who doesn't?"
He snorted. "You don't just flirt with disaster, you have intercourse with it. — Dannika Dark

Ghetto humor is the social twin of fantasy; together they sustain the powerless, who accomplish miracles through illusion. — Sheila Ballantyne

I was beginning to think that Simon just had a bad case of OCD, ADD, and PMS. With a little BS and OMG mixed in. — Dannika Dark

It was sad music. But it waved its sadness like a battle flag. It said the universe had done all it could, but you were still alive. — Terry Pratchett

His eyes burned with intensity. I wondered briefly if someone
he knew was being held in that cold room that smelled like death. Someone he loved? — Jaye Wells

Sarcasm, as it turned out
even when it was instinctive and quick
cut into the time one had to manufacture one's escape. — Mel Odom

Humanity's a nice place to visit, but you wouldn't want to live there. — Terry Pratchett

When an answer finally comes to me, I know I've completely lost all my wits - or as my mama used to tell my father, I have a few screws loose. — Brandy Nacole

He circled around me, whispering in my ear. "I'm O positive. I'm everyone's type. — Dannika Dark

Dear, he do have a problem. — Taylor Ann Bunker

Chiron looked surprised. I thought that would be obvious enough. The entrance to the Underworld is in Los Angeles. — Rick Riordan

It's like a jolt of electric, but worse. — Lee Davidson

Rhett: If you've made up your mind to impale someone, do it with conviction. — Rowena Cherry

Dear Lynda Carter, Please be with me in my hour of need. Especially if I don't have to twirl around to get my powers. — Michael R. Underwood