Eating Humor Quotes: top 59 famous quotes about Eating Humor

Eating Humor Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Eating Humor quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. — David Mamet

When in doubt, ingest carbs. — Rachel Cohn

'There's a seagull eating our food,' he told me, and it was the most romantic thing I'd ever heard. — T.J. Klune

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait". — Mitch Hedberg

Carnatur, eh? What are they man-eating daisies? — Nicole Sager

I've always found wildlife very calming
except when animals are eating each other, of course. — Tom Upton

When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE! — Demetri Martin

There were two Irishmen eating sandwiches in a pub and the landlord said: "You can't eat your own food in here." So they swapped sandwiches. — Frank Carson

In geometry, whenever we had to find the area of a circle, pi * radius squared, I would get really hungry for pie. Square pie. — Dan Florence

Not only eating Lieutenant, but slobbering over the food as well. Clearly, he, she, or it has no manners. — Douglas Preston

What are you doing eating a salad? If you turned sideways in the wind, you'd whistle. — Lani Diane Rich

How is it that food STILL contains calories that make you gain weight in the 21st CENTURY?! It's like scientists aren't even trying! — Tanya Masse

I do not eat breakfast. i never eat breakfast. I haven't eaten breakfast since I was able to walk out the back door without eating breakfast first. — David Levithan

If I had seen pictures of people eating each other on the wall, I would've told him I was into cannibalism. — Chelsea Handler

Will everyone stop eating dinosaurs?' she frowned. — Neale Osborne

We don't ask when people age out of singing, or eating ice cream; why would we stop making love? — Ashton Applewhite

The melon of Castile is for self abuse. The melon of Valencia for eating. — Ernest Hemingway,

There are a great many aspects to feline life, but the three most important - the Holy Trinity, if you will - are eating, sleeping and washing. — Jem Vanston

Remorse is eating his soul like a caterpillar in a cabbage. — Dorothy L. Sayers

I love children. Eating them, that is. — Keith McGowan

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. — Dave Barry

Dolphins and sharks are natural enemies. Dolphins are like, "Quit eating us," and sharks are like, "Stop smiling all the time, you morons. — Dan Florence

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it. — Helen Rowland

And all the while she shoveled forkfuls into her mouth like a pie-eating contestant in the home stretch. — Cathy Skendrovich

Who knew death could lead to an eating disorder? — Corey Redekop

Living life without humor is like eating food without taste buds. — Jonathan Heatt

I decide that we could always indulge ourselves later. First, I had a soul-eating stone of power to poke with a stick. — Lisa Shearin

Women with clear, healthy skin are not Paleo-eating stress free robots who never get their periods. — Adina Grigore

You'll never regret eating blueberries or working up a sweat. — Jacquelyn Mitchard

One of the best reasons for eating alone is the assurance that you will enjoy the company. — Karen E. Quinones Miller

With everyone lounging around, eating sleeping, sunning, pooping, it looks like some weird combat version of an outdoor rock festival. — Evan Wright

What is with these guys?
Where's the thrill in watching snakes eat?
I certainly didn't thrill in watching humans eat. — Patrick Jennings

Wearing a condom is like eating an icecream cone with a sock on your tongue. — Mark Gungor

Beth from accounting
is just sitting in her car
eating spaghetti. — Ryan Mecum

He was always eating things of hers. Clothing, books, family heirlooms. — Kellyn Roth

Do Dragons eat Mexican?" Hank wondered out loud.
"Dude, they eat people. Mexican is a vast improvement over people. — Robyn Peterman

No one should ever go hungry, what with chewing ourselves out, eating crow and swallowing pride. — Chris Brady

'Having' Your Cake ... a little perverted ...
'Eating' it too ... a lot perverted! — Josh Stern

You have a faculty for defining the simplest in terms of the grandiose, so that a poor devil like me can't understand it. — Malcolm Bradbury

isn't telling a girl you just loooooove eating horsemeat one step away from saying you haven't lived 'til you've eaten puppy skewers? — Rachel Dratch

It is possible to chip your tooth while eating gummy bears when a plane is landing. — Chelsea Handler

It is harder to be unhappy when you are eating Craig's Ice Cream — Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

There's a friendly tie of some sort between music and eating. — Thomas Hardy

Now I remember why I hate eating sheep. Horrible, fluffy things that give me hair balls and indigestion. ( Saphira from the Eragon Series) — Christopher Paolini

They have been eating muffins. That looks like repentance — Oscar Wilde

Happiness depends on sound sleep, orderly bowels and regular meals. — Matthew Fort

We must stop eating!' cried Toad as he ate another. — Arnold Lobel

An apple a day keeps the doctor away.' But eating too many, is quite enough-plenty. And you'll have to go see the good doc anyway. — Solange Nicole

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone. — Tommy Cooper

The thin girl was gulping down one of Richard's bananas in what was, Richard reflected, the least erotic display of banana-eating he had ever seen. — Neil Gaiman

How sick are you? Holy crap. Are you dying or something? Is that why you're going on
a retreat and eating only lettuce? — Maisey Yates

My little girls can break my heart. They can make me cry just looking at them eating their string beans. — Barack Obama

I've never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don't like eating fish. And I know that's very popular out there in Africa. — Britney Spears

Just thinking about the cake she was not eating made her cry. — Michael Kaplan

The first time someone asked me if I was pregnant, I was eating friend cheese at the Summit County Fair — Olive B. Persimmon

Do fish get cramps after eating? — Steven Wright

As the proverb said, "Think in the morning, Act in the noon, Eat in the evening, Sleep in the night." Too late for thinking now. Too early for eating. — Orson Scott Card

Mandy (lentil eating, lesbian, long socks) in PR — Poppet

I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they're making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating. — Adam Carolla