Dylan Moran Quotes: top 92 famous quotes about Dylan Moran

Dylan Moran Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Dylan Moran quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I thought The Office was good, though I didn't think of it as a sitcom, just as a very good programme. — Dylan Moran

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine for a long time. — Dylan Moran

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear from this Black Books thing. — Dylan Moran

Shame is one of the greatest aphrodisiacs in the world, anyway, built into religion. — Dylan Moran

Idioms are a big thing in Ireland. They want to fill the time, to show how good they are at talk - it's a talk-off — Dylan Moran

He could dismiss several schools of philosophy by shifting slightly in his chair or toting his whisky glass. — Dylan Moran

Your mind is a hive of worms. And worms don't live in a hive, so it already feels unnatural. — Dylan Moran

America is this incredible mosaic of immigrants, so people really want to be anchored in some kind of culture as well as the one they are living in. — Dylan Moran

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will try to foist on anybody who looks like a likely candidate. — Dylan Moran

I don't have lungs anymore! Just two spare bags that flew in under a bridge one day. — Dylan Moran

Wow this place is really big isn't it? They must do proper stuff here, like opera and all that ... shite. — Dylan Moran

What's the weather like? ... It's fierce mild! — Dylan Moran

Maybe this is just me, but as time goes by, I'm more bewildered by modernity. It gets more unfathomable with every passing year. — Dylan Moran

EGGS! They're not a food, they belong in no group! They're just farts clothed in substance! — Dylan Moran

I'm very drawn to Eastern Europe, so I like a Hungarian writer who wrote in French called Emil Cioran; he was always good for giving me such a stir. — Dylan Moran

We all know smoking is bad. I know I'm going to quit someday, if I thought I wasn't I'd quit now. — Dylan Moran

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical. — Dylan Moran

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I was 20. — Dylan Moran

Men look at breasts the way women look at babies. 'Aw, isn't that lovely.' — Dylan Moran

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic. — Dylan Moran

Women are like canoes, full of soup. At first everyone is suspicious but then everyone wants one. — Dylan Moran

Don't you DARE use party as a verb in my shop — Dylan Moran

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow. — Dylan Moran

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s. — Dylan Moran

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads. — Dylan Moran

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? — Dylan Moran

I'm just trying to understand what's around me as much as anyone else is, really. To draw a bead on a moving target. — Dylan Moran

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms. — Dylan Moran

I can't relax here. These people have no pubic hair anywhere. We have pubic hair on the ceiling. — Dylan Moran

The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job. — Dylan Moran

I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart. — Dylan Moran

It probably says something really clinically terrible about my character that I need to get up on a stage and go 'Ra ra ra' in front of people. — Dylan Moran

You're not really an adult at all. You're just a tall child holding a beer, having a conversation you don't understand. — Dylan Moran

Have I had therapy? I went to a yoga class once. — Dylan Moran

Paper acts as an eraser on the mind, as soon as you look at what you've written. — Dylan Moran

If you covered a broom handle with oil and shoved it up my arse, then put me on a trampoline, in a lift, I could write a better song on the walls. — Dylan Moran

[Adulthood feels like] walking around in the desert with a bag over your head, being bumped into by people who rob you as they bore you. — Dylan Moran

You can't please everyone, nor should you seek to, because then you won't please anyone, least of all yourself. — Dylan Moran

Its not easy being a man you know. I had to get dressed today ... and there are other pressures. — Dylan Moran

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be character witty. — Dylan Moran

I'm a quitter. I come from a long line of quitters. It's amazing I'm here at all. — Dylan Moran

I'd be hard-pressed to think of anybody who's made me laugh, who's funny, but who's also relentlessly positive. — Dylan Moran

Two young, fit, healthy attractive people in love? There's nothing worse to look at in the world. — Dylan Moran

It's easy to smile when you have a squirrel's intellect. — Dylan Moran

All the shy people are doomed! Natural selection favors the loud and the aggressive — Dylan Moran

Lots of comics try stuff out all year round, which is very sensible - I don't. — Dylan Moran

You're supposed to eat the cows. They're great big lumbering stupid things - they'd be everywhere if we didn't eat them. — Dylan Moran

You should be as alive as you can, until you're totally dead! — Dylan Moran

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy, are these organic?' — Dylan Moran

A man does not know how he came by the half a pie he is holding in his hand! — Dylan Moran

I quite fancy the 1940s. I like the trams and the trousers. — Dylan Moran

Tequila? It's not even a drink. It's a way for having the cops around without using a phone. — Dylan Moran

I was lucky in the sense that I was never blessed with an overly reflective nature. — Dylan Moran

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it. — Dylan Moran

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me to do things in different ways. — Dylan Moran

Nothing can make me feel better now, except cocaine. — Dylan Moran

Organic? I grew up on Angel Delight. We didn't have anything in the house if it wasn't neon! — Dylan Moran

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself. — Dylan Moran

I don't know what I want but I know that I want it now. — Dylan Moran

Cooking? Oh we were great, you'd take anything and melt cheese on it, and the one who could guess what it was didn't have to wash up! — Dylan Moran

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. — Dylan Moran

We are both drawn to surreal situations so the writing was a joy. — Dylan Moran

I need a healthy injection of cynicism right now. — Dylan Moran

I can't get involved in all the murders you need to commit to get this shit out of your system. — Dylan Moran

I'm organised in some ways, but not in others. — Dylan Moran

You look like a horse in a man costume — Dylan Moran

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits. — Dylan Moran

You exaggerate your own reactions. — Dylan Moran

I don't go to different countries to criticise their political system and tell them what they should be doing - what do I know? — Dylan Moran

Why do I even dare to think I could dream I could imagine I could hope? — Dylan Moran

The East is very mysterious to Westerners. Even post-Cold War, it's still an unknown entity. — Dylan Moran

Children are the most honest critics. They will say 'You're funny', but also 'You're pathetic - go away.' — Dylan Moran

I have tried ... believe me, I have tried to like rap music. It makes me feel so very, very old. I have tried to get home with the downies. — Dylan Moran

I don't go around thinking of myself as a great anything. — Dylan Moran

Look at his face. I bet his cornflakes try to crawl out of the bowl. — Dylan Moran

He looks like a horse in a man costume! — Dylan Moran

I wish I was like you! You know startled by direct sunlight. — Dylan Moran

I don't really think of myself as an actor. — Dylan Moran

You know what you are? You're a beard with an idiot hanging off it. — Dylan Moran

You're not going to learn anything if you're not prepared to go flat, so I'm very happy to go flat. — Dylan Moran

When did you ever hear of a child not in need? 'Oh that's enough jam tart for me, I'll just go now and clean the toilets.' — Dylan Moran

It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator. — Dylan Moran

Do your own thing. Speak in your voice. — Dylan Moran

You learn very very quickly that it is mostly about swearing, actually. That's all you're doing, swearing, in a box with wheels. — Dylan Moran

Vodka! That's a child's drink, why am I drinking this stupid drink, oh and why am I on a traffic island? — Dylan Moran

Don't clap I'm not a jazz band for Christ's sake. — Dylan Moran

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you speak to is planning to write a book. — Dylan Moran

Fruit ... it's just God showing off. "Look at all the colours I know!" — Dylan Moran

I do pauses, pauses work for me — Dylan Moran

I'm not a fighter, I'm a bleeder. — Dylan Moran

Vodka is a very deceptive drink. You can't taste it, you can't smell it. — Dylan Moran

People will kill you over time. And how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases like 'be realistic'. — Dylan Moran