Drive Funny Quotes: top 34 famous quotes about Drive Funny

Drive Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Drive Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask if I'm leaving. — Steven Wright

Rina's always claimed that I expect too little from life," Standard said.
"Then at least you'll never be disappointed. — James Sallis

drive like hell was chasing you. — Cassandra Clare

I'm in no condition to drive ... wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk! — Yogi Berra

It sounds like you aren't used to having something so powerful between your legs," Abbey said. "Maybe you should let me drive. — Shawn Keenan

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns. — Tommy Cooper

I'm a 4-wheel-drive pickup type of guy. So is my wife. — Mike Greenwell

You mustn't let men drive you to mangling the English language, no matter how sweet they are. — Marisa De Los Santos

This job will drive me to drink, and for that reason, I will be eternally grateful. — W.C. Fields

Number one way life would be different if dogs ran the world: All motorists must drive with head out window. — David Letterman

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but then I thought, well, what if I crash into a lake? — Dylan Moran

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines? — George Carlin

It's a funny thing sensing someone else's sex drive. After a while, you get to mistaking it for your own. — Haruki Murakami

And it's a long drive down the line to centerfield. — Jerry Coleman

If your pussy was so good, you would drive a better car. — Katt Williams

Three weeks ago, she learned how to drive. Last week she learned how to aim it. — Henny Youngman

There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius — Josh Stern

I'll drive like my grandma. I'll drive like your grandma."
"You wouldn't say that if you knew my gramma. — Kami Garcia

I had the cab driver drive me here backwards, and the dude owed me $27.50. — Mitch Hedberg

Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete. — Whitney Cummings

Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive! — Rodney Dangerfield

And I figured you'd drive a four-hour round-trip before giving up your car to someone else — Richelle Mead

My brother spent a large portion of the agonizingly slow drive to school banging his forehead on the stearing wheel. — Michelle Hodkin

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. — Ben Berger

I had a dream about you last night ... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive. — Nicole McKay

When I sell liquor, it's bootlegging. When my patrons serve it on a silver tray on Lakeshore Drive, it's hospitality. — Al Capone

I wouldn't miss this fake-homo show for all the Gucci Shoes on Rodeo Drive. — River Jaymes

I did a radio interview; the DJ's first question was "Who are you?" I had to think. Is this guy really deep, or did I drive to the wrong station? — Mitch Hedberg

I don't have sex drive ... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'. — Louis C.K.

It's funny, I can sit through the worst horror film ever made but even a quite good romantic comedy can drive me nuts. — Jason Reitman

It's funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same. — Hermann Maier

Everyone thinks softball is a girl's game. But you only think that until you get hit with it on a line drive. — Jerry Smith

I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge." — Brian Regan

Life has a funny way of testing you to see if you really want, what you say you want. — Turcois Ominek