Daniel Tosh Tosh O Quotes
Collection of top 32 famous quotes about Daniel Tosh Tosh O
Daniel Tosh Tosh O Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Daniel Tosh Tosh O quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
My excuse for everything is that I grew up in Florida.
— Daniel Tosh
Canadians complain too much. 'I like seasons.' So do I; that's why I live in a place that skips the [unpleasant] ones.
— Daniel Tosh
Even the klan revamped their image by losing the hoods and changing their name to the Tea Party.
— Daniel Tosh
I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs was, but I would have made the iPhone charger cord twice as long.
— Daniel Tosh
Do you know there is actually a blood test out there now to find out if your kid is gay or not? Yeah, it's an HIV test.
— Daniel Tosh
I don't want to develop a personality, just cut my face! Stretch it and staple it. Now I'm happy, or at least I look like it.
— Daniel Tosh
If Canada were really that great, it would be a state.
— Daniel Tosh
I have no real talents. If I could make a living at a normal job, I'm sure I would do that.
— Daniel Tosh
One day, I want to get rich enough so that every time I walk into a room I can release a dozen doves.
— Daniel Tosh
Of course money buys happiness. You ever seen a homeless person skip? The answer to that riddle's no. They're not allowed.
— Daniel Tosh
I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.
— Daniel Tosh
My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had ... so he sent me to a girls school.
— Daniel Tosh
Slutiness is a very underrated quality in a girl.
— Daniel Tosh
You never see anyone wearing a black turtleneck and leather jacket doing something nice.
— Daniel Tosh
You know who likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.
— Daniel Tosh
Face down, ass up, that's the way we both got stuck
— Daniel Tosh
I can say that. I have a television show.
— Daniel Tosh
Decorating the gym can't mask the fact that it smells like a mix between corsage and balls.
— Daniel Tosh
That Asian guy is really good at kicking. Shocking. Someone is pressing 'A' really fast somewhere.
— Daniel Tosh
If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.
— Daniel Tosh
I wasn't a pain in the ass when I was a kid. So I think being a screw-up as an adult is way more acceptable.
— Daniel Tosh
Bill Hicks is a huge influence. I love him.
— Daniel Tosh
I really don't work a whole lot as far as touring, but I do stand-up every night of my life, no matter where I am.
— Daniel Tosh
You know who makes a great first impression? Liars.
— Daniel Tosh
