Dad Funny Quotes
Collection of top 41 famous quotes about Dad Funny
Dad Funny Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Dad Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.
— Bob Monkhouse
You're funny, which you can't be if you're not smart. Dad says it's harder to make someone laugh than it is to make them smile.
— Cath Crowley
She's so elderly that I'm sure she was alive before sex was invented. She conceived Mick's Dad by shaking hands with a stork.
— Charlotte Stein
For every guy who loves being a dad, there's another who realizes too late that he's created something his wife loves more than him.
— Mark R. Brand
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, "My dad can beat up your dad." I'd say Yeah? When?
— Bill Hicks
I performed at Mom and Dad's party when I was four. Oh my gosh, I was singing a Madonna song, and I peed myself!
— Britney Spears
Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born. — Hasil Paudyal
Dad told me to stop running in circles, I couldn't, so he nailed down my other foot!
— Rodney Dangerfield
It's funny reading about how I behaved in the days before memories formed. So thanks for that input, Mom and Dad - wasn't so bad after all.
— Connor Franta
Whenever anyone finds out there are seven kids in my family, the imagine my mom and dad having sex.
— Rachel DeWoskin
I always was a funny guy, the class clown. I had a very funny dad and an extremely funny grandmother.
— Charlie Day
What's going to be funny is when they think Mom and Dad are a little bit cool, because right now, we're not cool Mom and Dad.
— Angelina Jolie
I didn't grow up with my dad, so it was always very funny to me, and always has been, what an important part DNA plays in one's life.
— Kiefer Sutherland
I once punched a bloke in the face for saying 'Hawk the Slayer' was rubbish, when what I should have said 'Dad, you're wrong.'
— Bill Bailey
You killed my Dad." Any trace of kindness or sympathy vanished from Rixon's eyes. "Well this is awkward. — Becca Fitzpatrick
Me and my dad used to play tag, he'd drive!
— Rodney Dangerfield
At this moment, I know that the answer has to be yes. I am defeated. By my own father. How Darth Vader.
— Denis Markell
Tom Hanks is fantastic - he is one of my dad's good friends, and he's very warm and funny.
— Bryce Dallas Howard
You know, Hope is also rather interesting, there's just not two of her, Dad teased Nona
— Holly Hood
My dad was proud of himself when he farted. He sounds like he's strangling a chicken when he farts.
— Carl Barron
Torn clothes are funny ... until your dad gets fired.
— Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Remember: What dad really wants is a nap. Really.
— Dave Barry
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.
— Timothy J. Russert
![Dad Funny Quotes By Rachel Hawkins: I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do](https://www.wisefamousquotes.com/images/dad-funny-quotes-by-rachel-hawkins-682974.jpg "Dad Funny Quotes By Rachel Hawkins: I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do")
I [dad] spent hours on the phone. Do you know with whom?' 'One of those psychic hotlines?' Dad gritted his teeth. 'If only ... — Rachel Hawkins
My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.
— Norm MacDonald
Life's funny that way, kind of like a dad who thinks it's hilarious to tie his kid up in a dark closet and leave him there for the weekend. Yeah,
— Patrick Thomas
Data is your Beta...
— Kshitij Bhatia
When I was growing up we didn't have a massive house and there were five women running around, so my dad and I had to stick together!
— Louis Tomlinson
