Buchwald Quotes: top 46 famous quotes about Buchwald

Buchwald Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Buchwald quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

The best way to clean up a son's room is to close the door and pretend it's not part of the house. — Art Buchwald

I look at life as being cruise director on the Titanic. I may not get there, but I'm going first class. — Art Buchwald

I became a hero to everyone because I didn't take dialysis and was still alive. — Art Buchwald

This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday ... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security. — Art Buchwald

Every time you think television has hit its lowest ebb, a new program comes along to make you wonder where you thought the ebb was. — Art Buchwald

On the whole I woke up in the morning and was happy to be alive. — Art Buchwald

Over the years I have met a lot of important people, but no one as important as Elvis Presley. — Art Buchwald

Have you ever seen a candidate talking to a rich person on television? — Art Buchwald

The most important thing about writing a book is having book parties. — Art Buchwald

Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people. — Art Buchwald

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it. — Art Buchwald

War for most men is not fighting or marching in parades. It is sitting around somewhere wondering what the hell you are supposed to be doing. — Art Buchwald

Whether it is the best of times or the worst of times, it is the only time we have. — Art Buchwald

I always wanted to get into politics, but I was never light enough to make the team. — Art Buchwald

Any company executive who overcharges the government more than $5 million will be fined $50 or have to go to traffic school three nights a week — Art Buchwald

I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place? — Art Buchwald

I can now say without hesitation the Marine Corps was the best foster home I ever had. — Art Buchwald

I didn't go on dialysis because I was 81 years old and I'd done everything I wanted, or so I thought. — Art Buchwald

I just don't want to die the same day Castro dies — Art Buchwald

Television has a real problem. They have no page two. — Art Buchwald

This is what makes me happy: Remembering where I put my house keys ... — Art Buchwald

Smile. Be open and welcoming. — Ephraim Buchwald

This is not an easy time for humorists because the government is far funnier than we are. — Art Buchwald

Don't commit suicide, because you might change your mind two weeks later. — Art Buchwald

The things that matter most are not things. — Art Buchwald

An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn't know any women. — Art Buchwald

I learned quickly that when I made others laugh, they liked me. — Art Buchwald

If President Nixon's secretary, Rosemary Woods, had been Moses' secretary, there would only be eight commandments. — Art Buchwald

A bad liver is to a Frenchman what a nervous breakdown is to an American. Everyone has had one and everyone wants to talk about it. — Art Buchwald

Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening. — Art Buchwald

I'm working when I'm fighting with my wife. I constantly ask myself-how can I use this stuff to literary advantage. — Art Buchwald

I like champagne because it always tastes as though my foot's asleep. — Art Buchwald

The powder is mixed with water and tastes exactly like powder mixed with water. — Art Buchwald

I could have said something profound, but you would have forgotten it in 15 minutes - which is the afterlife of a graduation speech. — Art Buchwald

I know it's very egocentric to believe that someone is put on Earth for a reason. In my case, I like to think I was. — Art Buchwald

When it came to writing about wine, I did what almost everybody does - faked it — Art Buchwald

Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got. — Art Buchwald

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. — Art Buchwald

I contemplated suicide. My main concern was that I would not make the New York Times obituary page. — Art Buchwald

If you attack the establishment long enough and hard enough, they will make you a member of it. — Art Buchwald

As the economy gets better, everything else gets worse. — Art Buchwald

People ask what I am really trying to do with humor. The answer is, I'm getting even — Art Buchwald

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life. — Art Buchwald

I worship the quicksand he walks in. — Art Buchwald

I don't mind 800 million Chinese drinking a bottle [of Coca-Cola] a day, but I don't want them to bring back the empties. — Art Buchwald

Children are made readers on the laps of their parents. — Emilie Buchwald