Birthday Funny Quotes: top 30 famous quotes about Birthday Funny

Birthday Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Birthday Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' — Larry David

For my sister's 50th birthday, I sent her a singing mammogram. — Steven Wright

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. — Rodney Dangerfield

Congratulations to your mom and dad for birth of a sweet child!

Sorry that I couldn't wish them when you were born. — Hasil Paudyal

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I'd have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK. — Steven Wright

On this special Fathers Day, we'd like to wish all of you a very Happy Birthday. — Ralph Kiner

I feel ghostly unreal until I become somebody else again on the screen. — Peter Sellers

She's 80 my nan, what do you want for your birthday? "SHREDDER!! GET ME A SHREDDER!!", what do you want a shredder for? "IDENTITY THEFT!!". — Russell Howard

it's pretty well impossible to create a better life if you're not prepared to have some uncomfortable feelings. However, — Russ Harris

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. — Will Rogers

I'm driven by telling stories, I love telling stories. — Phil Keoghan

Nobody wants to conduct an autopsy on a dead saint. — Robert Charles Wilson

Milton Hope led the singing of Happy Birthday ... He would say, 'Keep it sweet and short and don't try to be funny.' — Bob Hope

You are the love of my current life — Irene Fantopoulos

Scars, though, left wounds on the inside of you, and as with skin that didn't heal right, you still felt the rough spots from time to time. — J.R. Ward

I have no problems with buying tampons. I am a fairly modern man. But apparently they're not a "proper" present. "Happy birthday, mum!" — Jimmy Carr

Cancer don't respect nothing. — David Chase

Act your age, not your shoe size. — Prince

Pie can't compete with cake. Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Put candles in a pie, and somebody's drunk in the kitchen. — Jim Gaffigan

Ordinary, said Aunt Lydia, is what you are used to. This may not seem ordinary to you now, but after a time it will. It will become ordinary. — Margaret Atwood

The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet. — Robert Orben

Better to have to retrace your steps and then move forward than never to move forward at all. — Anne Burack Sayre

If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favorite cat, they, too, would purr. — Martin Delany

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday. — Andy Borowitz

The Neo-Feudalism of UN Agenda 21/Sustainable Development is reviving serfdom as the condition of the future. If you let it. — Rosa Koire

I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. — Eva Gabor

Inside each of us is a David and a Goliath. — Robert Kiyosaki

I realized I never played a character that was skilled at anything, or skilled at anything that I couldn't become skilled at. — Jonah Hill

If people don't know me, then I don't care what they say about me. — Michael Waltrip

A man who views the world the same ... — Muhammad Ali