Bill Burr Quotes: top 46 famous quotes about Bill Burr

Bill Burr Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Bill Burr quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

I am so pro-swine flu ... I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the weak. — Bill Burr

You have no idea how long a year is until you're stone sober. — Bill Burr

What would you rather be? 52 and look 52, or 52 and look like a 28-year-old lizard? — Bill Burr

Everyone should just drive out to the Mojave Desert and just experience it, and it's a fun place to live. — Bill Burr

I am so pro-swine flu it's ridiculous. — Bill Burr

Podcasting is great. Total freedom. — Bill Burr

You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV. — Bill Burr

As much as Metallica rocked, they always had these song names ... 'The Thing That Shouldn't Be'. 'The Chair That Wasn't There', you know? — Bill Burr

I actually had the urge to elbow an elderly lady today ... — Bill Burr

Patrice O'Neal is the best comic I ever saw. — Bill Burr

Being a comedian is an incredible thing, but it can be scary sometimes. — Bill Burr

I love my dog. I hate bankers. I have issues with women. In my head, I'm a great guy. — Bill Burr

The first night you walk down to a comedy club, at least for me, I had my voice, and then I went on stage and I lost it. — Bill Burr

Pitbulls are like a gun you can pet. — Bill Burr

Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are. — Bill Burr

Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling? — Bill Burr

Acting in a sitcom or a comedy movie is like a comedy routine with the setups. — Bill Burr

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful. — Bill Burr

My favorite kind of humor is basically, if it was happening to you, it wouldn't be funny, but to observe it, it's hilarious. — Bill Burr

I've never wanted to kill myself over anything major. It's always the little things that do me in. — Bill Burr

Nothing worse than when a 6 acts like a 10. — Bill Burr

Some guy workin' at Home Depot, he wants to f-k just as many women as a celebrity. But he can't do it, because whores don't care about lumber. — Bill Burr

If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast. — Bill Burr

I bet The Walking Dead gets really low ratings out in Montana, just because all they need to do is look out their f-king window, am I right? — Bill Burr

Your twenties is all about taking your childhood out on everyone that you run into. — Bill Burr

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog. — Bill Burr

I just do my act. If people in England don't get my joke I make fun of myself for telling it. — Bill Burr

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich? — Bill Burr

Let's go to Brunch. What a great idea! Why would you want to sleep in on a Sunday when you can go pay $18 for eggs? Now, you're thinking. — Bill Burr

There is no reason to hit a woman. And I was just like, really? I could give you like 17 right off the top of my head. — Bill Burr

I think it's a privilege to be able to fly to somewhere where people want to see my show. — Bill Burr

Gold diggers are the wife beaters of men! — Bill Burr

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. — Bill Burr

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again. — Bill Burr

When I watch 'Breaking Bad,' my stomach is in knots. — Bill Burr

Working on the Dave Chappelle show was amazing. — Bill Burr

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money? — Bill Burr

I'm trying to get away from trashing women, to be honest. I think I've done enough of that in my career. — Bill Burr

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions. — Bill Burr

Once you do a joke and it works it's only good for so long, like shooting fish in a barrel. — Bill Burr

If you try to deliver a funny line in a funny way, it comes out as wacky and you ruin the scene. — Bill Burr

There is a very difficult period in a comedian's career - it's that window of time where you're good enough to draw tickets but nobody knows you yet. — Bill Burr

I'm not easy to live with. My wife is a saint. — Bill Burr

Deny your emotions and act like you have answers — Bill Burr

A lot of my fears and anxieties are the fears and anxieties of a six-year-old boy. When I finally confront them, they're really small. — Bill Burr

I'm not going to lie. I am a psycho. Luckily, I get most of it out on stage. — Bill Burr