Best Dave Barry Quotes: top 38 famous quotes about Best Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Best Dave Barry quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Do not put this product in a big

Do not put this product in a big vat and drop rats into it from a cat-walk. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.

Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: What was life like in the colonies? Probably

What was life like in the colonies? Probably the best word to describe it would be "colonial". — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Dogs love to go for rides. A dog

Dogs love to go for rides. A dog will happily get into any vehicle going anywhere. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor -

I watched as an extremely nerdy exhibitor - I'm talking about a guy who makes Bill Gates look like Brad Pitt ... — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're

Motto of the U.S. airline industry - "We're Hoping to Have a Motto Announcement in About an Hour." — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made

The doctor looked at my cardiogram and made that "hmmmm" noise that doctors are taught in medical school so they won't come right out and say "UH-oh!" — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: If everybody were a guy, the human race

If everybody were a guy, the human race could easily get by on less than one twentieth the current number of shoes. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I think Superman should go on the Larry

I think Superman should go on the Larry King show and announce that he would come back to life if people in all 50 states wanted him to. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building

Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I will vote for the first candidate who

I will vote for the first candidate who promises to use nuclear missiles against LinkedIn. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why

Rembrandt's first name was Beauregard, which is why he never used it. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the

Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: The best way to learn Japanese is to

The best way to learn Japanese is to be born as a Japanese baby, in Japan, raised by a Japanese family. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: If you answered, 'Spin the Bottle,' then I

If you answered, 'Spin the Bottle,' then I frankly do not want to know any more about your childhood. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: We should call editorials what they are: columns

We should call editorials what they are: columns written by committees. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Culver is a language magnet school. What it's

Culver is a language magnet school. What it's mainly a magnet for, if you want to know the truth, is nerds. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: To people who make moving ads that block

To people who make moving ads that block the view of websites: Not only will we not buy from you, but we want shrews to eat your liver. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de

Another well-known Paris landmark is the Arc de Triomphe, a moving monument to the many brave women and men who have died trying to visit it. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except

In modern America, food is abundant everywhere except aboard commercial airplanes. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate

Like all writers, my greatest inspiration, my ultimate muse, is a deadline. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I do some of my best reading while

I do some of my best reading while seated in the bathroom. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: The best time to go to Disney World,

The best time to go to Disney World, if you want to avoid huge crowds, is 1962. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Your guess is as good as mine. Better

Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Beneath their surface differences, there are a lot

Beneath their surface differences, there are a lot of deep, underlying differences. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: And it ain't a man, thought Slank.

And it ain't a man, thought Slank. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Land!" shouted Thomas. "Is there food?" asked Tubby

Land!" shouted Thomas. "Is there food?" asked Tubby Ted. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: We can only be young once. But we

We can only be young once. But we can always be immature. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet

Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Life is anything that dies when you stomp

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I can snap your spine like a toothpick.

I can snap your spine like a toothpick. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Never try to put all the chemicals in

Never try to put all the chemicals in the entire world in your body at the same time. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball

Dear Hotel People: We don't need a cheeseball clock-radio. WE NEED PLACES TO PLUG STUFF IN. Thank you. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank,

I suspect that LaGuardia is an elaborate prank, and New York has a real airport nearby that only locals know about. — Dave Barry

Best Dave Barry Quotes By Dave Barry: If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he

If Black Stache laughed, you laughed. If he snarled, you snarled. If he breathed in your direction, you ran for cover. — Dave Barry