Behrendt Quotes
Collection of top 100 famous quotes about Behrendt
Behrendt Quotes & Sayings
Happy to read and share the best inspirational Behrendt quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.
I mean, I feel like you can kill the same bird with both stones.
— Greg Behrendt
Don't spend your time on and give your heart to any guy who makes you wonder about anythingrelated to his feelings for you — Greg Behrendt
I always tell people it's funny that they think I'm a relationship expert because my two books are about getting out of relationships.
— Greg Behrendt
Anyone who assesses you or your relationship as disposable is not worthy of your time or tears.
— Greg Behrendt
Turning a breakup into a break-over ... We want women to know that as bad as it can be, it can also be an opportunity to reinvent yourself.
— Greg Behrendt
How many presidents, do you think, ever said to another guy: 'I can't believe we're doing this in the White House'?
— Greg Behrendt
Having feelings doesn't mean you have to have sex.
— Greg Behrendt
For me, a breakup changed my entire life. I was a mess. I really got rocked, and I ended up turning it into a positive thing.
— Greg Behrendt
If we're friends with someone and attracted to them, we're going to want to take it further.
— Greg Behrendt
People don't admire you for what you hate, they admire you for what you do about it, and your slacks.
— Greg Behrendt
Be yourself. If something you do doesn't work, don't do it the next time. Listen to yourself - you know what appropriate behavior is.
— Greg Behrendt
It's time to stop pretending I'm ok with things I'm not ok with like all insects and Foster the People.
— Greg Behrendt
Cheaters never prosper. (Because they suck.)
— Greg Behrendt
I'm just not interested in daytime television, which is something you should remember the next time somebody offers you a daytime talk show.
— Greg Behrendt
He doesn't need to be reminded you're great.
— Greg Behrendt
I saw Aerosmith, and I was like, 'Wow, you can dress like a girl and still get girls? Hand me a scarf!'
— Greg Behrendt
I don't have to edit myself. I get to be me, warts and all, and that's ultimately what people want, and to trust each other implicitly.
— Greg Behrendt
You already have one asshole, you don't need another one
— Greg Behrendt
You can't fix people or make them change; the only thing you can do is pack your shit and leave if it isn't working for you.
— Greg Behrendt
There's a guy out there who's going to be really happy that you didn't get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
— Greg Behrendt
I'm certain prison is pretty rough as it is but imagine if you were a murderer and a foodie!
— Greg Behrendt
Wasting time with the wrong person is just time wasted.
— Greg Behrendt
Always be classy. Never be crazy.
— Greg Behrendt
So, I play in a band. It's a really underground band. Super underground. Very underground. Like, we don't even actually play.
— Greg Behrendt
If he was so great, you'd still be together.
— Greg Behrendt
Don't waste the pretty
— Greg Behrendt
As a guy I never liked being told to call, which my wife really never does, and that's why I call her as often as I do.
— Greg Behrendt
Bored with the same type of misery over and over and over again.
— Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you.
— Greg Behrendt
Busy' is another word for 'asshole'. 'Asshole' is another word for the guy you're dating.
— Greg Behrendt
He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
— Greg Behrendt
But he was so great!' Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on a vacation
— Greg Behrendt
The pain of being in a bad relationship is confusing. When it's over - it's over. No more confusion!
— Greg Behrendt
Uncool is a cool resting place. The pressure's off me.
— Greg Behrendt
Don't idolize anyone if you can. You know, be inspired by people, certainly, but don't idolize people ... Because they'll let you down.
— Greg Behrendt
Personally, when I'm picking friends, I like the ones who don't make me cry myself to sleep.
— Greg Behrendt
Part of being a comedian is that it's your job to look at life and regurgitate it in a funny way, to point out its absurdities.
— Greg Behrendt
Most people don't want to leave their wife and children behind but many people seem to want to take leave of themselves.
— Greg Behrendt
Most comics worship music on some level. It's more rock-n-roll to get up there for an hour and make people laugh.
— Greg Behrendt
I'm no longer a prisoner of my fears. Which really just means I'm using real butter.
— Greg Behrendt
I'm tired of seeing great women in bullshit relationships.
— Greg Behrendt
Being brokenhearted is like having broken ribs. On the outside it looks like nothing's wrong, but every breath hurts.
— Greg Behrendt
You are defined by how you live your life, not whom you live it with, and certainly not by what you gave up to be with that person.
— Greg Behrendt
If my father is walking around going, 'Mmm, pussy,' he's thinking about eating the cat.
— Greg Behrendt
Men like to chase and you have to let us chase you. I know. It's insulting. It's frustrating. It's unfortunately the truth.
— Greg Behrendt
Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.
— Greg Behrendt
Life's biggest rewards come from the biggest challenges
— Greg Behrendt
A good indication that it's not is if you're only staying with What's His Name because you're scared.
— Greg Behrendt
I've never tried to pass myself off as anything more than a comedian who wrote a dating book.
— Greg Behrendt
I like the idea that when a guy comes over to the house, I get to say I wrote the book.
— Greg Behrendt
My daughter genuinely asked me to hand her the basketball bat. I might be failing as a father.
— Greg Behrendt
The time it takes to feel better about a breakup is directly proportional to the time it takes to feel better about yourself.
— Greg Behrendt
Drinking, eating, shopping, revenge, rebound sex, drugs or whatever your poison may be will number the pain - but that's all.
— Greg Behrendt
My buddy Tom ... he'd been chasing a girl for two years, and he got her the old-fashioned way - dates and listening.
— Greg Behrendt
Can you deep fry the bacon? Oh how I wish you would ...
— Greg Behrendt
There's a guy out there who will want to tell everyone that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
— Greg Behrendt
There are three kinda men in the world. There's men that own rope, men that use eye creme, and that dude from Nickleback.
— Greg Behrendt
A man would rather be trampled by elephants on fire than tell you he's just not that into you.
— Greg Behrendt
Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse.
— Greg Behrendt
The day you realize you don't have to make sense to anyone is the day you start to make sense to you.
— Greg Behrendt
Don't you want the guy who'll forget about all the other things in his life before he forgets about you?
— Greg Behrendt
Cheaters are people who have a lot of stuff to work out, and they're working it out on your time and with your heart.
— Greg Behrendt
Why should you feel honored for getting scraps of his time?
— Greg Behrendt
big plans require big action
— Greg Behrendt
Young people are gross with their faces and their hope.
— Greg Behrendt
People say get a job doing something you love. So far no one has offered to hire me to eat Whoppers with a switchblade.
— Greg Behrendt
If you date, you will meet your share of weirdos and jerks. That is as sure as death and taxes.
— Greg Behrendt
There are only so many ways to get people to go see stand-up, that it really is about the product; it's not so much about the theme of the show.
— Greg Behrendt
I believe in love the verb, not the noun.
— Greg Behrendt
We were raised to pursue women ... Most of the guys I know enjoy the pursuit. But that doesn't mean women should be wallflowers.
— Greg Behrendt
Good enough to tweet, not to say.
— Greg Behrendt
I want you to be yourself, but not with other dudes.
— Greg Behrendt
The one cool thing with getting older is that you can actively choose to just be an eccentric.
— Greg Behrendt
A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep thewoman he loves — Greg Behrendt
Sometimes we become attached to what's familiar, and sometimes we hold on to things that are safe and predictable, even if they are bad for us.
— Greg Behrendt
Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: They don't break up with you.
— Greg Behrendt
You are not easily forgotten.
— Greg Behrendt
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk.
— Greg Behrendt
Alone also means available for someone outstanding.
— Greg Behrendt
Better than nothing is not good enough for you!
— Greg Behrendt
I have less friends, but I have more Cadbury Eggs.
— Greg Behrendt
