Asshole Quotes: top 100 famous quotes about Asshole

Asshole Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Asshole quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

IF SOME PREACHER'S AN ASSHOLE, THAT'S NOT PROOF THAT GOD DOESN'T EXIST! (page 286) — John Irving

I see a tongue! Some asshole is licking my peephole. — Mark Tufo

There was no law against being an asshole. — Joey W. Hill

Six foot eight and all asshole. — Lauren Beukes

You are so not an asshole. (Tory)
Trust me, I can be. But I have a height requirement before I break ass on someone. (Acheron) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Tell me again how great you are, asshole. Nothing like a steel enema to ruin even your best day. (Fang) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Fuck a duck! The asshole has a girlfriend. Great! Just great. Which makes me that woman. The other woman. — Belle Aurora

Her hope was to embarrass me. Little does she know, I'm fluent in Asshole. — S.L. Jennings

Tell me you aren't as perfect as you seem, Alex." "Not even close to perfect." His blue-gray eyes darkened. "Not a complete asshole either. — Toni Anderson

Whoever said the soul and the body met in the pineal gland was a fool. It's the asshole, stupid. — Andre Aciman

He was wrong, that doesn't make him a villian. That makes him an asshole. — Jim Butcher

You've been drinking. Let's go before I become the asshole prick you think I am. — Cristin Harber

When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole. — Demetri Martin

Be nice people, cause nobody likes an asshole. — Darren Criss

Anyone who doesn't want you to be happy with who you are is an asshole. Fuck pleasing everyone else. You only live once. Who are you gonna do it for? — Dahlia Adler

Keep your head above your heart. God put it there for a reason. And don't be a whiney little asshole." She grinned. — S.J. Wright

Why don't I like you?"
"Because you think I'm an asshole, and I'm not really, I'm just British and, well, you're not. — Alan Rickman

I could EAT YOUR HEART & asshole you'd never know it. — Joyce Carol Oates

When were you going to tell me?"
He demanded. "Tell you what? That you can be a real asshole? How about right now. — J.R. Ward

An asshole who sometimes pretends to be nice totally has the ability to suck you back in, making you think that you had him all wrong. — Lauren Barnholdt

You're going to run into jerk-offs, but remember: It's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shit comes out of it. — Justin Halpern

You know the difference between an asshole and an anus?" He spoke from the side of his mouth. "What's that?" "An anus can't say 'that went well. — Craig Johnson

You mean she's motivated by coffee and nerd gear and judges people solely on whether or not they're an asshole?" Elizabeth grinned. "Exactly. — Alanea Alder

How do you like your drones now, asshole?" Nearby, — Daniel Suarez

I've been practicing serial monogamy with one loser after another since I was eighteen. You can't deny I'm an asshole magnet. — Avery Flynn

Perfectionism may look good in his shiny shoes, but he's a little bit of an asshole and no one invites him to their pool parties. — Ze Frank

Any asshole can write a tone-row. It takes a composer to write a tune. — Leonard Bernstein

First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole. — Chelsea Handler

It wasn't like he was purposely being an asshole. It just came naturally to him. — R.L. Mathewson

Got a young brown stallion and she 20 years old/When she pop it from the back you see that hairy asshole. — Pimp C

I also got the impression that having a lot of money can turn a decent person into an asshole. — Susane Colasanti

You couldn't be satisfied with being an amateur asshole, could you, Jimbo! You had to go and turn pro on me! — Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Cut the sarcasm. It makes you sound like an even bigger asshole — Maya Banks

It's hard to fall in love with assholes, Warren."..
"Maybe you just haven't met the right asshole yet. — Colleen Hoover

Do you have some kind of syndrome that makes you act this way, or are you just a rude, socially inept asshole? — Annabel Joseph

One of the most heinous, insidious lies is the notion that you have to be an asshole to be a successful business person. — Alan Cooper

Work your ass off. Don't be an asshole. — Stefan Sagmeister

It turns out, for any plan to work, every team needs at least one asshole who doesn't give a shit if he or she gets fired or exiled or excommunicated. — David McRaney

Yeah, well, if you weren't such a dick ... ," Ty murmured with a small smile.
Zane snickered. "Works out well since you're an asshole. — Madeleine Urban

Any asshole can chase a skirt, art takes discipline. — Charles Bukowski

We play loud electric guitar music, and we'd hope that that doesn't mean you have to act like an asshole. — Ian MacKaye

Advice is bullshit. It's just one asshole's opinion. — Justin Halpern

I, for example, am a pompous asshole, but my comics are genius! — Brian K. Vaughan

People can smell kindness on you even when you act like an asshole to scare them away. — Tarryn Fisher

What's going on? (Astrid)
Not much. Some invincible asshole is trying to kill me. (Zarek) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

-And I'm sorry too.
-For what?
-For calling you an asshole doctor.
-That's okay.
-Even though, technically, that is what you are. — Astrid Amara

Stress" is mostly the result of not being allowed to kill some asshole you really want to slice and dice. — S.M. Stirling

You've invaded my erotic dojo. For this your assholes will adorn my thunderous cock like jewelry! — Matt Fraction

It's always the most patriotic asshole in the room that has absolutely no concept of what patriotism actually means. — Sam L. Amirante

I love this dangerous, menacing asshole. — J.M. Darhower

Shut up. Asshole. (Shahara) I live for your endearments. (Syn) — Sherrilyn Kenyon

Avengers fucking assemble, asshole!"
- Hit Girl — Mark Millar

My best friend nods solemnly. Then he keels over. Asshole. — Elle Kennedy

He never wanted to hurt someone. Well, not like that, at least. He was a sadist, not an asshole. — Tymber Dalton

Turn off your phone, asshole! Some of us have hangovers! Raegan yelled from her bedroom. — Jamie McGuire

I've got to get back to the typewriter, I thought. Art takes discipline. Any asshole can chase a skirt. I drank, thinking about it. At — Charles Bukowski

But today? I'm taking the low road because that man, that jerk, deserves it, whoever he is. Fucking asshole ... — Winter Renshaw

When you're a guy you have to act like an asshole sometimes, so that the real asswholes won't bug you. — Kelly Easton

I considered sex work, but then I bent over and looked at my asshole in a mirror. Nobody was going to pay me for access to that thing. — Jeremy Robert Johnson

Your father's an asshole. It's not a disease. You don't have to catch it. — Rachel Caine

A tiny part of me wanted to kick him, too, not because he was homeless, but because he was a judgmental asshole. — Julia Karr

His pinched expression looks like he just smelled his own asshole. — Victoria Scott

Then, like a born and bred asshole, he added to the sheriff, He writes murder mysteries. — Josh Lanyon

Put an asshole on a plane in Boston an asshole gets off in Seattle — Stephen King

Someone who responds to "Please don't grope me" with whining and pouting isn't a friend. He's an asshole and a predator. — Mallory Ortberg

I'm gonna make that asshole gnaw his own hand off that night, dammit. — Tammara Webber

Your Plan and the stuff that comes out of my asshole bear a suspicious resemblance to each other. — Stephen King

I'm going to be the luckiest asshole in the world when she finally lets me love her. — Jay McLean

He was such an asshole, and I loved him. — Jennifer L. Armentrout

Oh yeah. Well, good luck, I've heard Selah's a total asshole. I — Rachel Hollis

But just because you're transparent about treating people poorly doesn't mean you're not an asshole for doing it. — Jennifer Tress

I'm not insane, I'm neurologically variant," she snapped back. "Sticks and stones, asshole. — Mira Grant

Whoever coined the term "Buyer Beware" was probably bleeding from the asshole. — George Carlin

Five years, my family thinks it's time I moved on. I'd like to move on with a non-asshole — Alex Adams

this particular category of asshole compounds temerity with obliviousness. — Eduardo Sacheri

As soon as there was an answer, he stepped closer to the speaker and said, "Federal agents, ma'am"
"Nice try, asshole — Abigail Roux

The name's Clem Williamson Snide. I am a private asshole. — William S. Burroughs

Then I yelled through his door, It's an anniversary gift for you, asshole. Two whole weeks early. FIFTEEN YEARS IS BIG METAL CHICKENS. — Jenny Lawson

You greasy shit stain on a diseased elk's warty asshole. — Ian Tregillis

Jesus, he wasn't a dick, he was an asshole and he had some serious fucking work to do. "She — Kristen Ashley

I'm gay but I'm not a necrophiliac you asshole. — Leonard Norman

Maybe God is an asshole ... of course not, he's not an asshole, he's imaginary. — Louis C.K.

Fuck. Fuck! He made sense. It was Asshole Invasive Sense (yes, meriting capital letters), but it was still sense. — Kristen Ashley

In some ways, blogging is like drinking - it gives a person permission to be a total asshole. — Augusten Burroughs

Eugene turned the key. A sound like a two-story house being shat out the asshole of a zebra ripped through the dashboard. — Patrick Ness

I like people thinking I'm an asshole. Being an asshole is my life's vocation; I'm a goddamned asshole professional. — James Alan Gardner

You are a:
Woman seeking man

Regrettably, "Woman seeking man who's not a lying asshole" wasn't an option. — Amy Webb

Curran growled. "Later, babycakes."
Babycakes. Asshole. "Good hunting, sugar woogums. — Ilona Andrews

Maybe I'm ovulating today? Because I want him. Like... I totally, illogically, inappropriately want that asshole, Kellan Walsh, — Ella James

He was twisted as a pretzel, he was a tinfoil-halo shitnosed frogstomping king rat asshole, but he wasn't stupid. — Margaret Atwood

The key is, how do you feel with the one asshole? They cannot be talked to. That's why they are assholes. — Steven Soderbergh

I'll take the devil over a goddamn Limp Bizkit fan any day, asshole! — Tim Seeley

Because when a guy's a jerk or an asshole, it's easier because you know exactly where you stand. — David Levithan

I could EAT YOUR HEART & asshole you'd never know it. — Joyce Carol Oates

Criminal defense really isn't so different from proctology. In both fields, it's one asshole after another. — Emma Chase

An employee is told that the customer is always right and, in fact, the customer is usually a moron and as asshole — Larry David

I'm a bad motherfucker, don't you know
and I'll crawl over fifty good pussies just to get to one fat boy's asshole, said Stagger Lee. — Nick Cave

I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front of me. — Demetri Martin

Compassion: listening to a month's worth of snivelling when you break up with yet another asshole. — Martyn V. Halm

It's as if once you hit high school, you're programmed, like a robot, to be an asshole to your parents. — Sara Zarr