Alcohol Funny Quotes: top 34 famous quotes about Alcohol Funny

Alcohol Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational Alcohol Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

He was so drunk that he would have stubbornly denied that he was. — Filippo Bologna

Civilization begins with distillation — William Faulkner

I enjoy cooking with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food I'm cooking. — Julia Child

Everybody funny, now you funny too. — George Thorogood

Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. — Dave Moulton

There's always elements of danger in New York, but people are always out on the street. I don't feel scared there at all. — Madonna Ciccone

There have been two great narcotics in European civilisation: Christianity and alcohol. — Friedrich Nietzsche

Whoever said that a drunk mind speaks sober thoughts...was clearly still drunk off their ass.

-Jackson 'Blame It on the Pain — Ashley Jade

Now, my intention was to drink just enough to dull the senses, but intentions should never be mixed with alcohol. — Kirt J. Boyd

AWESOME TEACHERS recognize different abilities, take time to listen, go beyond the textbooks, and inspire from the heart! — Tanya Masse

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point. — Doug Stanhope

I know
Okay, Sorry. I am.
Look, I'm human. It's hard to be fair sometimes. We don't always feel the right thing, do the right thing — Stephenie Meyer

You always miss 100% of the shots you don't order — Josh Stern

Love is full of anxious fears. — Ovid

I'll drink your champagne. I'll drink every drop of it, I don't care if it kills me. — F Scott Fitzgerald

Having pride is not good for the soul. — Virginia Garcia

Ultimately, the best driver will always do something special, whatever the rules and whatever the regulations. Same thing with the teams. — Jacques Villeneuve

Drunken men give some of the best pep talks. — Criss Jami

I would never do crack ... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay? — Denis Leary

Yet dawn is ever the hope of men. — J.R.R. Tolkien

I told NASA what I did. Our (paraphrased) conversation was: Me: "I took it apart, found the problem, and fixed it." NASA: "Dick. — Andy Weir

Alcohol does not make ugly people attractive. It makes it so you could care less that they're ugly. — Doug Stanhope

Every luxury must be paid for, and everything is a luxury, starting with being in this world. — Cesare Pavese

I live on shameless flattery ... and vodka ... but the two usually go hand in hand. — Vicktor Alexander

What is your advice to young writers?"
"Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes. — Charles Bukowski

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm. — Milton Berle

So what are you planning to do with the rest of your life?
Develop a drinking problem. More Scotch, please. — Daniel Silva

Your income can grow only to the extent that you do. — T. Harv Eker

Liver failure is the easiest way to say 'no' to alcohol. — Bauvard

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. — W.C. Fields

If you drink anymore, you're going to be positively flammable. — Michaela Haze

I like liquor - its taste and its effects - and that is just the reason why I never drink it. — Stonewall Jackson

Tradition or not, I sometimes thought putting children on an old guy's lap was already creepy enough. We didn't need to mix alcohol into it. — Richelle Mead

According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now does. — Conan O'Brien