2 Funny Quotes: top 29 famous quotes about 2 Funny

2 Funny Quotes & Sayings

Happy to read and share the best inspirational 2 Funny quotes, sayings and quotations on Wise Famous Quotes.

2 Funny Quotes By Tommy Cooper: I bought some HP sauce the other day.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years. — Tommy Cooper

2 Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: I'm getting so old my insurance company sends

I'm getting so old my insurance company sends me 1/2 a calendar! — Rodney Dangerfield

2 Funny Quotes By Rodney Dangerfield: I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2

I joined gamblers anon., they gave me 2 to 1 I wouldn't make it! I joined AA, there was a two drink minimum! — Rodney Dangerfield

2 Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: 2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is

2-in-1 is a stupid term, because 1 is not big enough to hold 2. That's why 2 was created. — Mitch Hedberg

2 Funny Quotes By Jerry Coleman: The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one

The Cards lead the Dodgers 4-2 after one inning and that one hasn't even started. — Jerry Coleman

2 Funny Quotes By M.J. McGuire: I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got

I have a Siamese twin cat. It's got 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

2 Funny Quotes By Ernie J Zelinski: Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys

Sex is Number 1 of my Top-10 joys in retirement. Number 2 is reading How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free. I forgot the other eight. — Ernie J Zelinski

2 Funny Quotes By Joan Rivers: I think it was Cosby who also said

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.' — Joan Rivers

2 Funny Quotes By Bill Watterson: Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only

Leader, bandits at 2 o'clock! Roger; it's only 1:30 now-what'll I do 'til then? — Bill Watterson

2 Funny Quotes By MaryAnne Tebedo: Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 2 — MaryAnne Tebedo

2 Funny Quotes By Randy Glasbergen: Thank you for calling customer service. If you're

Thank you for calling customer service. If you're calm and rational, press 1. If you're a whiner, press 2. If you're a hot head, press 3 — Randy Glasbergen

2 Funny Quotes By Henny Youngman: 2 Jewish women in New York. One says,

2 Jewish women in New York. One says, "Do you see what's going on in Poland?" The other says, "I live in the back, I don't see anything." — Henny Youngman

2 Funny Quotes By Roslyn Grant: sometimes i play fruit ninja for 2 hours

sometimes i play fruit ninja for 2 hours and the i have diaria — Roslyn Grant

2 Funny Quotes By Ryohgo Narita: A true nerd knows the difference between 2-D

A true nerd knows the difference between 2-D and 3-D, and chooses 2-D every frickin' time! — Ryohgo Narita

2 Funny Quotes By Saleem Sharma: Pause while reading a book only in case

Pause while reading a book only in case of two things:
1. To kiss
2. To sip coffee
Too bad both are a luxury. — Saleem Sharma

2 Funny Quotes By Mokokoma Mokhonoana: 98% of all comedians feel obliged to be

98% of all comedians feel obliged to be funny when interviewed. Less than 2% succeed. — Mokokoma Mokhonoana

2 Funny Quotes By M.J. McGuire: I've got a Siamese cat. It has 2

I've got a Siamese cat. It has 2 heads and 18 lives. — M.J. McGuire

2 Funny Quotes By Ron Pickering: Coe has smashed the world record, 1:44.92 seconds

Coe has smashed the world record, 1:44.92 seconds has never been run easier — Ron Pickering

2 Funny Quotes By Christopher Gorham: You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things

You know, 'Jake 2.0' had some funny things in it; I mean, I needed my sense of humor to do that part. — Christopher Gorham

2 Funny Quotes By Dark Jar Tin Zoo: The only time I drink milk is when

The only time I drink milk is when I drink coffee. I make love the same way - contributing 2% as I just sort of lay there. — Dark Jar Tin Zoo

2 Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I had a paper route when I was

I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters. — Mitch Hedberg

2 Funny Quotes By Mitch Hedberg: I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can

I miss the $2 bill, 'cause I can break a two. $20, no. $10, no. $5, maybe, $2? Oh yeah. What do you need, a one and another one? — Mitch Hedberg

2 Funny Quotes By Elaine Paige: My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2,

My shoes are size 2 and a 1/2, the same size as my feet — Elaine Paige

2 Funny Quotes By Rich Donnelly: I managed a team that was so bad

I managed a team that was so bad we considered a 2-0 count on the batter a rally. — Rich Donnelly

2 Funny Quotes By Anne Frank: The art of living. Isn't that a funny

The art of living. Isn't that a funny expression? — Anne Frank

2 Funny Quotes By Jack Whitehall: This sausage roll only contains 2% of your

This sausage roll only contains 2% of your daily intake of calories ... if you lick it. — Jack Whitehall

2 Funny Quotes By Craig Benzine: This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ...

This quote will self-destruct in ... 4 ... 3 ... 2 ... 1 ... Just kidding ... Or am I? — Craig Benzine

2 Funny Quotes By Henny Youngman: 2 Guys in a health club, one is

2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it in the glove compartment!" — Henny Youngman

2 Funny Quotes By Jack Paar: Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read

Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar