Neil Simon quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Neil Simon

Neil Simon Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Neil Simon on Wise Famous Quotes.

I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. It's either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

I don't like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

I never write a play with an eye to film.

[Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement ... Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything.

Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Never have so many given so much for so long for so little for so few for so seldom.

I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in.

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

I don't use computers ... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.

Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.

Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it.

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages.

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you're sixty-five you get social security.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all.

Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18.

The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose.

I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen.

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.

Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them." Blanche
Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive." Kate

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.