Neil Simon quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Neil Simon

Neil Simon Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Neil Simon on Wise Famous Quotes.

Neil Simon quotes: I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. It's either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple

I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. It's either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple

Neil Simon quotes: Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

Never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.

Neil Simon quotes: I don't like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

I don't like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors.

Neil Simon quotes: I never write a play with an eye to film.

I never write a play with an eye to film.

Neil Simon quotes: [Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything.

[Y]ou're young. Young takes care of everything.

Neil Simon quotes: New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

New York is not Mecca. It just smells like it.

Neil Simon quotes: I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.

I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal.

Neil Simon quotes: Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.

Sports is the only entertainment where, no matter how many times you go back, you never know the ending.

Neil Simon quotes: He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Neil Simon quotes: The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement ... Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything.

The body of a young woman is God's greatest achievement ... Of course, He could have built it to last longer but you can't have everything.

Neil Simon quotes: Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though.

Standing on a ledge again. Everyone laughs at dancing monkey with the typewriter. Not for long, though.

Neil Simon quotes: Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other.

Neil Simon quotes: All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

All humor is based on hostility - that's why World War Two was funny.

Neil Simon quotes: If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

If no one ever took risks, Michaelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor.

Neil Simon quotes: Never have so many given so much for so long for so little for so few for so seldom.

Never have so many given so much for so long for so little for so few for so seldom.

Neil Simon quotes: I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in.

I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in.

People with honorary awards are looked upon with disfavor. Would you let an honorary mechanic fix your brand-new Mercedes?

Neil Simon quotes: It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

It looks different when you're sober; I thought I had twice as much furniture.

Neil Simon quotes: There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

There are two million interesting people in New York and only seventy-eight in Los Angeles.

Neil Simon quotes: I don't use computers ... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.

I don't use computers ... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand.

Neil Simon quotes: Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.

Once you start compromising your thoughts, you're a candidate for mediocrity.

Neil Simon quotes: Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.

Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.

Neil Simon quotes: Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it.

Talent is the gift plus the passion - a desire to succeed so intense that no force on earth can stop it.

Neil Simon quotes: There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

There's no such thing as a sure thing. That's why they call it gambling.

Neil Simon quotes: Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages.

Give your mind a chance to travel through foreign languages.

Neil Simon quotes: I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

I LOVE living, I have some problems with my LIFE, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far.

Neil Simon quotes: Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.

Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend.

Neil Simon quotes: If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

If you can go through life without experiencing pain you probably haven't been born yet.

Neil Simon quotes: How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you're sixty-five you get social security.

How long do you want to wait until you start enjoying life? When you're sixty-five you get social security.

Neil Simon quotes: Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

Take care of him. And make him feel important. And if you can do that, you'll have a happy and wonderful marriage. Like two out of every ten couples.

Neil Simon quotes: I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

I was constantly being dragged out of movies for laughing too loud.

Neil Simon quotes: Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all.

Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all.

Neil Simon quotes: Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.

Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me. I like being alone in a room. It's almost a form of meditation- an investigation of my own life.

Neil Simon quotes: Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.

Once you've opened yourself up, it's best to go all the way.

Neil Simon quotes: Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18.

Nathan Lane always wanted to play Oscar. When he came in the first day, he already knew his lines. He said he'd known them since he was 18.

Neil Simon quotes: The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose.

The first book was my first attempt at writing full-length prose.

Neil Simon quotes: I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen.

I much prefer writing an original movie with the screen in mind to transferring a play to the screen.

Neil Simon quotes: Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count.

Neil Simon quotes: Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them." BlancheSomethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive." Kate

Sure it hurts, but if you love someone, you forgive them." Blanche
Somethings you forgive, somethings you never forgive." Kate

Neil Simon quotes: Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.

Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.