Mike Birbiglia quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Mike Birbiglia

Mike Birbiglia Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Mike Birbiglia on Wise Famous Quotes.

Shooting a movie isn't good for a sleep disorder.

I think serious situations actually make for the best kind of belly laughs. But they're also the hardest to convert into comedy at the outset.

I went to a funeral recently, and they handed out Kleenex before the funeral. Which I thought was cocky.

I shouldn't say bad things about the illiterate, though..I should write it. That way they won't find out.

I just don't give off a great first impression.

I've found, being in Los Angeles, it's like living in a live-action Planet Hollywood.

Essentially, retweets are like laughs.

I was raised Catholic, and then I kind of wandered away somewhere in high-school. I never got confirmed, which is a big deal.

I find my fans are really funny people. Most comedians can't say that about their fans.

I always try to attack the most honest issues I can in my comedy.

I'm walking out my door to get like a Snapple, and someone's like 'yo man, you want to buy some heroin?' 'No ... got any Snapple?'

When I was growing up, I didn't know who Jewish people were, what it was to be Jewish.

I'm a comedian, and the other comedians are played by comedians, the same way that in 'Once' there are the musicians that hang out together.

Sometimes people say, 'You're the best at digressions.' And that's actually a real compliment to me.

Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have plans.

Prose is all about embellishing and describing.

What I always studied in screenwriting from my mentor John Glavin was that the most interesting characters are characters with shades of gray.

I was an altar boy as a kid. And the answer is no.

Some people come up to me and say "You know, in Italy, it's pronounced Ber-beel-lia" And I say "Well, here in America, you're annoying ... "

I didn't realize how good I was with computers until I met my parents.

I feel like everyone wants to make a movie that they feel passionate about watching.

The people who are the worst at news, who kind of engage in what I call the World Wrestling of news, have kind of set the bar for where news is.

Sometimes I take this women's exercise class called Core Fusion at a place called Exhale. I shouldn't say it's a women's class. There's maybe two men.

When you're in high school, you can't even imagine the concept of what the rest of your life even means.

In some sense, Comedy Central has made their audience into comedy connoisseurs.

Jokes are so personal, and they bring us together in so many ways.

I love pizza so much, I would marry pizza, but it would just be an elaborate ploy to eat her whole family at the reception.

I love pizza. I want to marry it, but it would just be to eat her family at the wedding.

What I really need is a woman who loves me for my money but doesn't understand math.

There are comedians who focus on everything that is external. They focus on politics and the news, what's going on in that city and that night.

I grew up in Shrewsbury, Massachusetts and went to college in Washington D.C.

I've read that Steven Wright's style was born out of genuine nervousness.

I like 'Donnie Darko;' it's a cool take on dreams and sleep.

My last name has the word 'big' in it. It seems like a logical progression that if you shed away the Bir and the lia, I'll just be Big.

There's nothing funny the first time about telling a story about getting beat up and it makes you leave high school.

When I was in college, I wanted to write for 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien,' and I was an intern there.

I love Broadway shows.

Bears are simultaneously so graceful and so strong. Bears know who they are, but they often don't know who you are, which is why they kill you.

I think your tendency when you play yourself is to accentuate something about you that you think is the funny thing about you.

Sometimes, when you want to be in a place so badly, you'll do anything.

I don't smoke a lot of pot anymore. No one wants to hang around a guy who ends every sentence with, "Do you guys hate me?"

I never looked at my parents' marriage or really anyone who had been married more than 30 years and thought, 'I gotta get me some of that!'

I drank the Kool-Aid of being a network star. Once it didn't happen, I realized it wasn't the best version of my comedy.

Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.

I'm incapable of feeling any joy.

You can't go to medical school and come out and be like, 'I'm going to be a dog catcher.' That would be so pointless.

I always live tweet 'SNL.'

You need to know what doesn't work to know what works. It's especially true in improv and stand-up.

Dopamine is a chemical released in your brain and your body when you sleep that paralyzes your body so you don't act out your dreams.

I'm a compulsive everything.

Creepy people do the things that decent people want to do, but have decided are not a great idea.

Film is so immersive.

The one thing you're most reluctant to tell. That's where the comedy is.

I love Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel.

'Terminator 2' is so good. I love it.

People come to my shows on purpose as opposed to coming to a 'comedy show.' Which was always my goal.

The ability to workshop in stand-up comedy is incomparable to any art form, in my opinion.

You know the expression, 'You're only as sick as your secrets?' I believe that, and I think I try to have my work live by that to a degree.

One of my favorite comedies of all time is 'Terms of Endearment;' that's my pace.

Making a film is beyond exciting. It's so exciting, it's exhausting.

Sometimes you'll have a heckler who's actually attempting to be supportive, but you don't realize it. Their way of expressing it is kind of confusing.

With a monologue, you can be unendingly elliptical.

I love Valentine's Day. When you're a kid everyone gets a Valentine. It's like 'TO TIM, NICE PANTS, LOVE SCOTT'. It's Valentines galore!

I'm a big fan of pastries the size of a baby that contain enough calories for a year. That seems like an effective use of time.

When I met my wife, I was a working comic, so the first week we went out, she saw me perform, and it was very clear what I do.

Once you start writing something obsessively, it's almost like someone has to rip it from your hands in order for you to put it down.

I've yet to write a stand-up show that isn't autobiographical.

Awkwardness and feeling alienated are always going to be a part of comedy.

My dad goes through war novels like I go through boxes of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

When I go to bed at night, I wear a sleeping bag. And for a long time, I wore mittens so that I couldn't open the sleeping bag.

When I moved to New York, I was wide-eyed. I was nice to everyone, which comedians hate.

You can always tell who went to catholic school, because they're atheists.

The moment I walk into a room, I have kind of like the Terminator's tracking system for where the food is, and I can get there immediately.

I used to think I was a little unstable, and then I met every girl I've ever dated.

I love 'Bullets Over Broadway,' but I'm pretty sure Woody Allen hasn't killed somebody.

I sometimes think of not doing Twitter or Facebook anymore, but that's how people find their favorite bands and comedians.

One of my favourite movies is 'Annie Hall' because it's about the silver lining of the break-up.

Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody.

If you tried to sell Mike Birbiglia as a concept, no one would buy it.

Fortunately, I don't talk about politics on stage.

Backup dancers are completely respectable. They're the studio musicians of dance.

I almost can't even put to words how happy I am that I got married.

People are making better and better small budge independent films these days.

I don't drink a lot. My family calls me an old soul. And my friends call me a pussy.

I feel that marriage can lead to the ultimate rejection and failure and divorce and things we all fear.

Alienation, I suppose, can't be hackneyed because it will always exist.

A girl offered me E at the club. 'Have you ever done E?' 'I watch E.'

The list of fun and easily fixed brain diseases is very short.

You know the quickest way to get comedians to hate you? Do Letterman at age 24.

I'd much rather try and fail than talk about trying.

I like films that are so funny, dramatic and lifelike simultaneously, that you are laughing and cringing simultaneously all throughout the film.

How many people do you know who have thrown up on the Scrambler or a carnival ride? A lot of people, is the answer.

I got an E-Trade account. Turns out I can turn $1,000 into $420 in less than a week. Sure, I had to pay some fees ...

Pain is funnier than love.

I'm going to end up making twenty films if people let me.

Once you know how to make a movie, you can't not make a movie.

My family isn't really Italian. We're more like Olive Garden Italian.

Sometimes my fans are too nice.

I couldn't recommend more that people put themselves in a situation where they can see a lot of work that they admire, and for free.

Louis C.K. directs his show, which is very much like a series of short films.