Lenny Bruce quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Lenny Bruce

Lenny Bruce Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Lenny Bruce on Wise Famous Quotes.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.

I've talked to biblical cats, and Neanderthals who been here since day one. No one here has even seen the Big Boss. Ever.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We used to write essays like What I'm Going to be If I Grow Up

Lenny Bruce quotes: Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Lenny Bruce quotes: (On his addiction to opiods): I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

(On his addiction to opiods): I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I want to perform an unnatural act.

I want to perform an unnatural act.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Once you take away the struggle for food, clothing and shelter, work is the one four letter word that offends everyone.

Once you take away the struggle for food, clothing and shelter, work is the one four letter word that offends everyone.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.

If something about the human body disgusts you, the fault lies with the manufacturer.

Lenny Bruce quotes: When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Anyone who does anything for pleasure to indulge his selfish soul will surely burn in Hell.

Anyone who does anything for pleasure to indulge his selfish soul will surely burn in Hell.

Lenny Bruce quotes: TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

TV is just advertising for your live gig, so I'm playing whichever show is gonna get me the biggest crowd.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission.

If there was absolute freedom, people would run over babies and charge admission.

Lenny Bruce quotes: The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

Alright, let's admit it, we Jews killed Christ - but it was only for three days.

Lenny Bruce quotes: That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.

That's where the conflict starts. We all want for a wife a combination Sunday school teacher and a $500-a-night hooker.

Lenny Bruce quotes: There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.

There is only what is and that's it. What should be is a dirty lie.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.

Let me tell you the truth: The truth is what is. And what should be is a fantasy a terrible, terrible lie that someone gave the people long ago.

Lenny Bruce quotes: There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.

There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.

Lenny Bruce quotes: You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

You know there's no crooked politicians. There's never a lie because there is never any truth.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

Never trust a preacher with more than two suits.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.

Once the country was settled and built, the bosses changed the order from a stack of educated workers to a barrel of minimum wage lottery dreamers.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.

Trying to figure things out was my gig. Without the human condition, there's no struggle, no pain and that means no laughter.

Lenny Bruce quotes: When homosexuals were repressed, you got Tennessee Williams. Today's tolerance got you Hilton Perez.

When homosexuals were repressed, you got Tennessee Williams. Today's tolerance got you Hilton Perez.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.

Anyone who has two shirts when someone has none is not a christian.

Lenny Bruce quotes: The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.

I am influenced by every second of my waking hour.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.

Even if you are Catholic, if you live in New York you're Jewish. If you live in Butte, Montana, you are going to be goyish even if you are Jewish.

Lenny Bruce quotes: What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

What you end up with is outrageousness without the laugh - comedy as electro shock therapy.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

I think it's about time we gave up religion and got back to God.

Lenny Bruce quotes: You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.

You put a guy on a desert island, he'll do it to mud, a chicken, a barrel, anything, a knothole.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Lenny Bruce quotes: The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

Lenny Bruce quotes: There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.

There's always a down side with any freedom. It's not just homosexual freedom, but any sexual freedom comes at a price, and that is usually art.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Life is a four-letter word.

Life is a four-letter word.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

Lenny Bruce quotes: A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it was one of those parties, got out of hand, you know.

Lenny Bruce quotes: You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.

You can't just run out and start the car until some cat invents a car.

Lenny Bruce quotes: It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.

It's the suppression of the word that gives it the power, the violence, the viciousness.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.

Once you sleep on feathers you can't go back to sleeping on the floor.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.

Faith is to the human what sand is to the ostrich.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.

If you can't say "Fuck" you can't say, "Fuck the government.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

Children ought to watch pornographic movies: it's healthier than learning about sex from Hollywood.

Lenny Bruce quotes: In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Lenny Bruce quotes: The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

The 'what should be' never did exist, but people keep trying to live up to it. There is no 'what should be,' there is only what is.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.

I was surprised when Nixon passed the test and showed up in heaven, but, I guess Hitler threw off the curve for our century.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

If I just stuck to pot I might have found out what a drag being an aging hipster actually was.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing else to do.

Lenny Bruce quotes: My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

My mother-in-law broke up my marriage. My wife came home from work one day and found me in bed with her.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest

Freedom of speech is a two way street, man. You have the right to say whatever you want and the Boss has a right to tell the police to arrest you.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.

I'm sure that half the buzz from smoking grass was the fact that it was so illegal.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Communism is just one big telephone company.

Communism is just one big telephone company.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky!

If you're going to stop masturbating, you can't taper off. You've got to quit, cold jerky!

Lenny Bruce quotes: People are leaving the church and going back to God.

People are leaving the church and going back to God.

Lenny Bruce quotes: When earth gets good and crowded, like 15th century England, then some new Pilgrims are gonna rocket their Mayflowers to a new solar system.

When earth gets good and crowded, like 15th century England, then some new Pilgrims are gonna rocket their Mayflowers to a new solar system.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

If you live in New York, even if you're Catholic, you're Jewish

Lenny Bruce quotes: Satire is tragedy plus time.

Satire is tragedy plus time.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

I know what "custody" [of the children] means. "Get even." That's all custody means. Get even with your old lady.

Lenny Bruce quotes: There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

There's a lot of money in wars, except in the war on poverty. Can't make any bread helping the poor.

Lenny Bruce quotes: If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career

If I get busted in New York, the freest city in the world, that will be the end of my career

Lenny Bruce quotes: Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

Every group needs a comedian. A comic who is politically incorrect at the Berkeley campus might slay them at a Klan rally.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Take away the right to say 'fuck' and you take away the right to say 'fuck the government.

Take away the right to say 'fuck' and you take away the right to say 'fuck the government.

Lenny Bruce quotes: Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

I'm not a comedian. I'm Lenny Bruce.

Lenny Bruce quotes: I credit the motion picture industry as the strongest environmental factor in molding the children of my day.

I credit the motion picture industry as the strongest environmental factor in molding the children of my day.

Lenny Bruce quotes: There are never enough 'I love you's.

There are never enough 'I love you's.

Lenny Bruce quotes: The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.

The American Constitution was not written to protect criminals; it was written to protect the government from becoming criminals.