Jesse Andrews quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jesse Andrews

Jesse Andrews Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jesse Andrews on Wise Famous Quotes.

We used to be pretty good friends, but fourteen-year-old girls are psychotic.

The most beautiful thing about you is that you're not a sock puppet.

I ain't eatin out in no Lawrenceville," said Earl with disdain

Jesus Christ in a cockwagon.

He is pacing back and forth humming the theme from Rent or maybe cats.

You cats mind if I make it a trio?' he asked me, and it was not a huge surprise that a dude of his appearance was speaking in Jazz Voice.

Usually it's when your guard is down that you find yourself saying the most dick sentences of your life.

I am the Thomas Edison of conversational stupidity.

The theater kids? My God, it would be a bloody massacre. They would be found beaten to death with their own dog-eared The Wiz songbooks.

The best ideas are always the simplest.

Mom was asking me to resume a friendship that had no honest foundation and ended on screamingly awkward terms. How do you do that? You can't.

But a movie doesn't have to be good if it has Hugh Jackman.

I said, in my new loud middle-aged-Jewish-woman voice.

I don't know how to live a normal human life.

Girls like good-looking guys, and I am not very good-looking. In fact, I sort of look like a pudding

Theory: People always get fired up when an unattractive girl an unattractive dude are dating each other.

Urrrrnngh.
What is that noise.
Regretful polar bear.

It was time to ride the wave or drown in a sea of crazy.

Having friends is how your life gets fucked up.

But you gotta live your own life. You gotta take care a your own shit before you get started doing things for errybody else.

oaky sounds grea8~! but can i bring frined earl hes cool ul'l liek him ???/

When you convert a good book to a film. stupid things happen

It is a universally acknowledged truth that high school sucked.

One thing I've learned about people is that the easiest way to get them to like you is to shut up and let them do the talking.

You can pretty much take any sentence in this book and if you read it enough times, you will probably end up committing a homocide

Mitzvah" is Hebrew for "colossal pain in the ass.

I might accidentally become like a hermit or a terrorist or something.

But the hardest is watching your son watching his friend die.

She was now using a voice that women usually reserve for cats.

If after reading this book you come to my home and brutally murder me, I do not blame you.

Liv! The perpetrator has probably not returned to the scene of the crime. Pee Diddy is long gone by now.

Just because something is weird and hard to understand doesn't mean it's creative.

Even after somebody dies, you can still keep learning about them

Greg, we all like weirdos.

Basically, being a senior means that when people throw things at your teeth, it's accidental. In other words, being a senior is awesome.